Huffy, illiterate men, scared of peas, it's a weird, weird dating world (No22)

[ChaoticismyLife]

Oh, watch...you mentioned flowers

Tell us more...

scatty best case scenario is he is utterly overwhelmed, professes undying love and we sail off into the sunset. Worst case scenario is a mumbled, embarrassed 'thanks' and we never speak of it again. I think the intent is clear, he'll 'get' it - the question is will I get 'it' as a result.

Mini profile: snape 44 (shreik!!) 5 ft 10' 3 teen DCs. Bags of tattoos and unhealthy obsession with doctor who. had roughly three years of celibacy, give or take an occasional unsatisfactory shag from a disappearer. Currently very occasionally FWBing the prof. (who has gone quiet again and I cba) Utterly, unrequitedly in love with best friend. Nnnnnnnnn.

I feel very nostalgic about the 1970's :)

Snape yes heels make me walk much better, and they help my (terrible) posture too. I do often have to carry a pair of ballet pumps with me for the end of the evening though, or walking home barefoot

and yay for unexpected snogging btw!

watch I think mr beard sounds rather nice, even though I don't do men with long hair or any form of beard/moustache :)

scatty I definitely feel better for having ditched the dating sites, for me it had become a constant cycle of message, hundreds of pre-date texts, date, followed by inevitable rejection, on a repeated loop. I won't deny that Friday's events have also put a smile on my face until he's back in the office next week whereupon I will be cringing with embarassment!

precis of me:
40, 5ft 6, fan of heels, false eyelashes and fake tan :) single for 4 years , and seemingly unable to get beyond a first date. Given up on dating sites and instead resorted to inappropriate snogging with very junior 21 yr old colleague will try my luck in real life

Snape, what date is he getting it?
Literally and figuativley?
:)

Mini profile: 34 this weekend. 5ft 3. One dd. Had Been online dating for 3.5 years. Approx 60 first dates, maybe 5? Second dates. Dating mr l for 4 months now. Should dump him as I know we aren't matched.... But the poor boy follows me around like a lost puppy. It's hard. He's plesant, I enjoy his company, but we are very different people. Have a weekness for scruffy, dark haired men...

Sponge, you sound so much more like ' you' already :)

A break is a good thing, can't believe you snogged someone so young, you must be incredibly pleased with yourself!!! Bask in the boosted ego for as long as you can :)

Sometime around the 20th. Don't want to hand it over with other folk around unsure whether it should be handed over in person, or by post. Not sure I can cope with reaction if it's rejection-in-person & it will be a lot for him to take in, so immediate reaction might not be absolute reaction iykwim...

Noooooo, dont post it. It's all too beautiful to just bung it in the post. The best part of gift giving is to see someones reaction...
You absolutely need to give it to him in person. But maybe casually, like, give it to him, then have to go get something from outside, or another room, so he has time to look at it, while you peek through a crack in the door
And then when you come back in bearing cake/ pie/ rum, he will sweep you into his arms and kiss you.

on the subject of shoes these are my favourites
shoe
(not remotely sexy)

I used to have such a thing for men with long hair 1970's rock god style

Snape, My experience of the human being is that its going to be somewhere in between the two case scenarios. He may feel overwhelmed at the beautiful item..because it is stunning... But he will need to read it to get the intended message? so it might be a longer before his actual deep reaction.
For me, the worse case would be silence. You are strong Snape and whatever happens, your strength and humility has shone through..and you deserve nothing less in a partner.

Sponge: Im not sure if I could go back to OD and the rejection. My mind feel so much more rested for not having that constant appraisal of how I look/write etc. I remember I had a short fling with a 23 year old and I was 37. My goodness, it was like a breath of fresh air...not surpised you are smiling!

Watch:Anything nice planned for your b/day? Mr L needed that shove to buck up and it seems whatever you have with him now is nice.

Snape not sure if I would be tempted to leave it round at his as I was leaving or something . . . But I am a bit of a wuss. I also agree with Scatty that it's something he will have to take time with, just like you have taken all the time to make it for him. I hope so much that things work out. . .

Feet are a huge problem. I hate my feet. They are very very small, out of proportion to my height, and also I have a very high instep so I have a lot of problems getting any shoes that fit let alone glam ones. I always breathe a sigh of relief when we get back to boot weather as they hide a multitude of sins . . . In fact my feet are probably my least favourite part of my body. They are just downright weird and embarrassing, hate letting people (especially new people!) see them. Rant over!!

Mercury, Yep, I like that look, or, what my friends call the ' trampy homeless look' I quite liked the look of one of the xfactor contestants...and then he said he was actually homeless... And my friend and I nearly wee'ed laughing.
:)
I can't help it though. I like rock gods, trampy men, or posh, adventurey types a la ben Fogle...

Id Like to try those shoes, they look fun. In a sort of frog type way :)

I'm having a family off road segway day out. With meatastic Bbq. It's all highly girly and pink... Will end up covered in mud :) then mrl is coming round in the evening bearing red nylon knickers something lovely.

It is nice. Maybe he needed to be told. But, I might be being picky, I dont want to have to tell him. Granted I do and he makes changes,but it annoys me that he Didnt realise in the first place.
It's not a long term thing for me, It's pleasant, but not rocking my world....

scatty. . Thank you. That is very, very kind. :)

watch. I'm going with embarrassed silence and never talking to me again, but at least then it's done. I can process that information and move on... Things need to come to a head. Yay for mr beardy! :)

sponge . Glad you're feeling more positive. :) I do sometimes manage to secrete a pair of ballet slippers about my person, but my ideal scenario is LBD/comfy boots.

mercury shoe envy. Comfort!

Don't know about the actual giving of the notebook-of-lurve. Still, plenty of time to think that one through. He's getting a 'proper' bought gift as well, so I can hand over the proper-gift in company (Stetson!) if we all go out for his Bday. The lesbians will probably be in attendance and they can be a little cruel unwieldy, so I don't want the opportunity for a piss-take or to embarrass him.

Off road segway will be so much fun! Ive seen the way you have to lean way forward to make them move and that is hilarious!

Western: You will feel liberated if you can learn to love your feet. Mine are truly terrible. Large, flat and all my toes are flat and they are nearly all the same length with a abnormally small one. I never showed them in public until this year and I have embraced the sandal and I have never looked back. Honestly.

they're great for running, but outside of the gym people just look @ my feet and snigger
as for rock god I'm thinking Jimmy Page, Ozzy Osbourne, Ian Gillan...back in the day
yes I'm getting on a bit now

Scatty, It's even more hysterical doing it. So much fun.
:)

DS2 would love a go on a Segway, someone living near us has one and he is fascinated by it :)

I do feel much more myself having binned the dating stuff. am reading Weekend Life coach too, as recommended by Snape. Not quite sure I believe all of it, but am taking more of a mindset that if I want certain things, then I shouldn't automatically assume I won't get them, and in fact it is more likely in fact that I will if I really set my mind to it :)

Glad the book is helping sponge. Absolutely just take the bits that are helpful and bin the rest.

Couldn't go to work today, wet, windy, cold; house is a tip. Am just about to embark on some doctor who and tea on the sofa and am aiming at three notebook pages today. :)

I just sent this in reply to a message 'congratulations, you win todays prize for the most un erotic profile picture, penis and toilet brush'

yes I kid you not, close up of erection with white plastic toilet brush & holder in the background
wtf

I love the mini profiles idea, thank you! Scatty Would perhaps caution with being selective with which men you smile at in the street. I tend to do this accidently, and have so far been propositioned by someone I suspect to be a drug dealer (it was the car and the tinted windows and the music, v judgey I know), a random elderly rasta who was standing in a barbers shop doorway, and a man with seriously bad homemade tattoos in Ikea (I could see them because he was wearing a white vest to 'show them off')

Snape I also have a Dr Who obsession, a Tennant Dr Who obsession to be more precise. And I love your book of love idea, it's amazing.

And, hi Sponge. I also love shoes, and a bit of fake tan and whilst i can't do the eyelashes at all, have a weakness for expensive make up....

Snail Hello. Think sometimes a bit of devotion and being followed around would be good for the ego for a little while, might try and find someone like that for a bit!

My mini profile: I'm 41, almost divorced (yay!), have 2 DC. Have just begun looking at online dating websites, initially at the encouragement of a friend who was trying to persuade me that yes there were men, about my age, who were also single and possibly quite normal. However have not even been brave enough to put a photo up or indeed complete a profile on any of them.I have one of those faces that somehow encourages random people come and sit next to me on a bus or train and tell me their life story. This is absolutely not a good thing at all. I may or may not have a date with a man who I will settle on calling Mr Work Contact.

Great idea about the mini profile! I've been on here too, mostly asking for advice as I also feel a little bit like the new girl sometimes . Have to say, I have felt very welcome once I've got going though.

Snape - am getting nervous for you & your book of love!

Mini yoga-profile - 40 (very nearly 41), separated since January tho XH continues to be a seriously negative presence in my life. 2 primary school age DCs. Been on a few first dates as well as one just in it for the sex fling that lasted a few weeks and a short lived relationship with Mr60 who continues to flit in and out. Given up on OKC and POF but still have a GS profile quietly ticking over and attracting very ocassional messages but thinking the sofa sounds a good place to be for the winter.

yoga no! You mean excited! it's where everything changes - one way or another. Either way, I stop mooning around & wishing for might-have-been's. We either get to be an amazing couple or i get to find out that he actually isn't into me at all, hoist up my bosom cry and get on with the life stuff. Obviously I prefer the first scenario, but the ultimate disappointment has some silver lining...

a thousand lips (might need a bit more work... )

My father had a daughter loved a man,As it might be, perhaps, were I a woman, I should your lordship - DUKE ORSINO -And what's her history? - VIOLA - A blank, my lord. She never told her love, But let concealment, like a worm i' the bud, Feed on her damask cheek: she pined in thought, And with a green and yellow melancholy She sat like patience on a monument, Smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?

your wings are over me, If only I'd the strength to try to hide. Watch me fall apart, but leave me with my heart.

17 pages to go.

I think it's exciting Snape - it will be a new beginning one way or the other, and new things are always exciting, even if a bit scary too :)

Oh, for goodness sake.... Beautiful. Just beautiful.