Huffy, illiterate men, scared of peas, it's a weird, weird dating world (No22)

[ChaoticismyLife]

Oh, watch...you mentioned flowers

Tell us more...

Hmmm, I likes them lyrics.
Do it :)

Western, agreed. remembers one and only Skype date.... It featured a lot of penis

re proposed skype interviews
I'll threaten to cut him off unless he keeps his hands where I can see him:o
just want to get a good look at him before I meet him, so there's no fooling me with 10 year old photo's.
I know it wont give as much info as face to face but it's gotta be alot more telling than just photo's and written communication..no?

No, I Think It's way awkward....
In person, quick coffee. In and out in an hour :)

I would be put off if someone asked me to Skype but I'm not comfortable with that kind of thing, all feels very artificial and forced. I'm with Watch - quick date with the potential to extend it if you do hit it off.

Still reading through the thread and trying to put everything together, briefly thought of making a little chart to help me remember who is who and who they have been dating but thought that might be a little weird so forgive me if it takes a while to get the hang of it all. Just feel encouraged that other people find the whole dating thing as random and confusing as it ever was....

Scatty I found it really helped with my ex to write down in a journal the difficult times we'd had, and even, strangely the times that I remembered as being good; what was most interesting for me is that actually when i thought about it, the good times often hadn't actually been that good; maybe he had been being nice after a row, or they hadn't lasted as long as I'd thought. I have a read through it if I ever have a bit of a wobble and think...maybe...

I still haven't found out if man I know through work (need to think of a better name for him. Something bit snappier) is married or not. No-one seems to know. Apparently he has never mentioned a wife/partner. He is quite a private person anyway. He certainly never has in conversation with me, and I'd assumed by the way he talks about things that he was single. However, its made more difficult by the fact that the few people who do know him a bit better are not the sort I can just ask, without them wondering why I'm being so blooming nosey, and either twigging that I have a small crush on him, or the word getting back to him, and if this is just a work related thing he wants to talk about, that could be very embarassing.
Tried to ask my line manager today during supervison ...they asked how things were going re divorce, and if I felt that people at work had been understanding (I've had to have time off, and work have been fab) and I casually mentioned Work Contact Man (we have been working on a project together) and said he'd been very understanding and I'd heard he had been through similar, and line manager just went, yes, yes he has, he would understand. and I really wanted to go, 'And is there an new Mrs Work Contact?' but again thought that might not be the most subtle. So. I have decided that I am not going to make any effort at all, and will just turn up, and initially be very business like and friendly, and will try to work some kind of question very early in to the conversation....like...I don't know...'does your partner mind you working late?' Or ...oh, flip, i don't know.

Hi Jam - I think it'll soon be apparent if it's work-related or not - hopefully the latter!

Going out for dinner with the optician on Thursday and have said I'll have a coffee on Sunday with the quarry guy. He is very nice, behaved himself perfectly when we went out, seems like a lovely dad etc etc but not for me - please tell me how to tell him without sounding like a cow because he's done nothing wrong at all.

Western that's good news re the optician, and the money as well! re quarry guy I think you just have to be cruel to be kind, explain that he is lovely BUT there isnt a spark/you dont see it developing into a relationship which is what you're looking for...something like that. It's fairer to let him know than give him false hope, we get enough men doing that to us.

Watch hope MrL gets you something nice and non-nylon for your bday

Snape do you think maybe that's why PM hid his profile - if he's feeling down etc? Amending it and then having a 'meh its all futile, i'll never meet anyone' kind of though, something like that. Hope you get to speak to him soon.

I was talking to a mid-20s friend today. She told me she feels a failure as she has been internet dating for 2 years and only managed (drum roll) 1 relationship, a couple of guys she dated but it never quite got to relationship stage, and about 20 odd others she had 1-2 dates with. So I shared my stats of abject failure with her and now she feels much better :)

The universe meanwhile is mocking me - when I switched on TV last night 'Leaving' (ITV drama 40ish woman having affair with much younger man) was on. Tonight I turn on the radio to hear Mrs Robinson playing .

Despite it all still feel oddly happy and content. Weird!

Hey everyone, thank you all for the concern! I'm not shaken but just concerned that some trouble might come to me in some way! But I honestly didn't know and when she called me I just told the truth! That I met him a few times, slept with him once but wasn't into him and stopped talking to him!

He text me this Morning saying sorry about the call you had, it's like a fatal attraction situation! so he is still trying to act like she is a ex I guess! I don't care about his lies etc! But I wonder if I should all him to say don't bring trouble to my door or else type of conversation? Or leave him???

But on a completely different tone, I met a guy at a singles event on the weekend! (he worked there and wasn't there to date) we got on well and I gave him my number!

I quite like him which is very unusual for me! But he is texting an calling me a lot!! Normally that would annoy me with a new guy, but I seem to have been ok with it so far!

But there is a lot of contact going on! We are having a date Friday which I am looking forward to! But I'm wondering if I might get annoyed with all this contact going on!

Any advice? Or wise wisdom?

Moving I'd have nothing whatsoever to do with the cheating bloke from earlier. Definitely don't call and if he contacts you, block and ignore.

Mr Keen? Well, if it's not annoying you now just go with it. If its a problem, miss a few calls, only reply selectively to his texts and I bet he'll cool off. Have fun on Friday!

Thanks for the advice!

I think mr keen is abit much for me do I will try to do as advised

Also we are going to a nice cocktail bar on Friday, what to wear?? Im not feeling my slimmest right now (size 12 and short).

I was thinking of wearing jeans an a nice top, but wondering if I should maybe wear a dress?

But then thought tights? No tights??

I'm thinking a smart dress that could be for either the office or evening? Not a clubbing slutty type dress

Or a nice pencil skirt and top? Suggestions needed! Also he will be coming from work and wearing a suit, or change into jeans but I know whatever he wears he will look very smart! So I'm thinking jeans won't cut it for me!!

Sorry I am useless about what to wear. Have got to come up with outfit for a restaurant by Thursday so that's enough of a challenge for me! Black dress (not lbd type though, one with sleeves in), tights and knee boots?

I quite like this dinner idea - feels more like proper dating iykwim. And it's definitely "taking me out for dinner" not "grabbing a bite to eat" so it's all moving the right way I think!

Well I can advise on clothes although given my lack of success you may not want me to

I think you can get away with jeans in a bar provided they are really smart ones, I've worn my skinny jeans with heels and an evening-y top on a few dates.

Or if he's going to be in work gear, a work-type dress might feel more comfortable/match-y - I'd go for black opaque tights and heels (I am always in heels!).

Whatever you wear definitely heels though, I find they always make me feel slimmer too, and make me stand up straighter :)

Sponge there's no hope for me, can't wear heels

Heels are my thing, they are clearly not the be all and end all though, if they were I might occasionally once get beyond a first date .

These are my latest little beauties, I have them in black. Waiting for an occasion to wear them!

Ohhh nice heels sponge!! I'm thinking black work type fitted dress, with heels and tights!

Wow just been speaking to him again and we really vibe off each other and get on well I'm so looking forward to Friday

they look nice and nothing looks as glamorous as heels, but ouch ouch ouch, how do you stand the pain?
really I just cant put up with the discomfort ( I do have a very low discomfort threshold though)

Oh I wish I could wear heels... I'm 5ft 10 though & I'm not the most graceful in heels. A nice chunky heel sometimes works..

In an interesting development had drinks with old friend last night, we were really close in our late teens, had one drunken night of almost shagging where I dissolved into tears because I didn't want to lose the friendship. We then lost contact for 20 years and got back together through the beauty of fb. Apparently, i tick his three major boxes, anyway there was a bit of kissing . He knows about PM, so will 'wait' (aye, right...) until that's resolved before anything else might happen. I'm not sure if I actually fancy him though, he's a bit shorter than me & covered in muscles, smart, very tactile. I'm not thrilled, so I guess he's the 'hot-friend-who-fancies-me-but-I-don't-think-of-in-that-way-type.

Sponge those are stunning!!! I hate heels but at only 5'0 I sometimes force myself (ouch, ouch, ouch).

Sounds like an interesting night Snape.

Western & Moving -

I don't even do heels and I'm 5'3. Just.
I used to, but don't, they hurt and I can't walk anywhere in them.

Western, just wear what you feel ok in. I've eaten in Michelin stared places In ripped jeans... :) It's fine. If you don't want to go all glam you don't have to.

Snape, well, that came from nowhere!!! Unexpected snogging! Might you not go out with him again and see what happens?

Moving, what a load of bullshit. Unbelievable that he thinks you will fall for it. Ignore.

i do love him to bits, but i don't really fancy him and i think things are complicated enough at the moment to be honest - still it's always nice to be thought of as intelligent and beautiful isn't it.... ? just always the wrong ones... .

heels are nice because i move differently in heels, i go all super-model-catwalk... but i can't run or climb trees. i tend to end up walking home barefoot and ruining my stockings... i tend to bowl around in converse, but they don't really go well with LBDs. feet are a problem...

Bump for the person who started a seperate dating thread :o

morning all:

Thank you Jam. funnily I have written down quite a lot in a book and I do re-read it when I start getting sentimental...and it helps. My ex did the "arms length emotions and hot and cold treatment" with me and now Im free I realise that its just not good enough to be treated like that.

Sponge: So glad you are feeling good. So am I and I too have dumped OD. Do you think that has anything to do with how you are feeling?...that constant background of simmering rejection was not good for the esteem. Its like being in a sort of abusive relationship. And its hard work.

I would love to wear heels. I am 5ft 9. I have wide, flat feet so hardly dainty in heels or flats.

Wow Snape..that was a surprise! To me, your description of him sounds ok. Will PM know/get/understand your intentions with regards to your gift do you think? What is the best case scenario when he receives it in your mind?

Maybe we need little mini profiles for new people to keep up:
Me
Age 43, height 5ft 9. Single for 6 months or so. No flings, no snogs, no bloody anything! Given up on internet dating for the time being. trying to smile at strangers in the street. No pending dates.

I go all Benny hill tottering in them. Its ridiclous. Then end up barefoot.
:)

Yes, It's nice to be told that. Very wise and sensible not to complicate things, else you will end up like me with mrl. Nice enough, but lacking in spark. He did buy me chocolates last night though, which I scoffed while explaining/ showing him the joy of Tim m and derren b.

Texed beard quite a bit yesterday. He seems very funny in a quirky way. He looks like hes from the 70's with long dark wavy hair, and is apparently currently sporting a handlebar moustache. We are having tea at this really ' nice' place, which is nice he thought that rather than Costa....