Help me, please

[lionsgorawr]

I'm considering leaving my partner as I am so unhappy with our life. He hardly helps out, wont look for a job and is now being MADE to by the JC and I feel like everything is left to me...Especially taking care of our 14mo DD. Also he can be the most horrible person I've ever met by saying things he knows hurts me like how my own brother probably crashed his car and died to get away from me and my mother.
What terrifies me is I have history of PND and I hold my hands up and admit I have raised my voice on more than one occasion to my DD. He has already told me if I ever tried to leave him he would tell any lie possible to get custody of our child. I actually contacted Womans Aid today and they said if I wanted to do it tomorrow, their offices shut at 3. The dilemma I'm facing is the fact that he has an interview at 3.45 and I wouldn't be able to do it then. I just don't know if I'd be able to wait around much longer and I'm scared I might just cave and put up with it.
I just dont know what to do really! My mum has told me I can come to hers (which is over the other end of the country) but I know SS would have issues with that as my mum had a drug problem (not herion or anything. More hash and valium) she is clean now and is willing to prove it but I don't want to risk doing anything that would cause me to lose DD So I know I have to do it through womans aid.
Please, any advice would be really appreciated!

Wow... just wow posting on here. What a fucking nerve.

FF I'm so glad you sound so well and positive. It's fantastic.

Captain, my thoughts are with you too. Best wishes.

I have to be positive! DD needs me to be strong and I will be. I refuse to be called an unfit mother, I know with every fibre of my being I am a good mother to my child.
Let the new health visitors, the social work and who ever else they send come. They will see I am a good mum, you just need to see DDs face when I walk into a room with her to see that! I can disprove anyhing they say.
Yes, my mum took drugs and had a problem with alcohol, yes we did have a huge fight when I was pregnant but myself and my family can prove that it is not an issue as to where DD is concerned. My mum is willing to take a drug test everyday if need be to prove DD is not at risk here!

captain - am so sorry. thinking of you.
FF - you're amazingly strong, remember that over the coming days/weeks/months. You've done the hard part and it's onwards and upwards from this point on.x

To the Grandad - OP clearly needed to get away as the relationship was clearly not good. Your son and ex DIL will be better if they are apart.IMO taking her phone and bank card all day is controlling behaviour. There is no excuse not too have your own phone and bank card. I don't know any couple who share a phone. What a shame your family was unable to give the OP space that she clearly needs. She most likely won't be staying with her Mother for long either. It's time for your family to move on from the past and give OP some space.

Good luck to you OP

Thanks everyone :)

Having some chill time now DD is in bed. Seriously considering heading to bed soon. The constant mixture of emotions really are tiring! But we're getting there :)

DD is settling in well and so happy and full of giggles. Makes me feel so much better to see her this way :D

Sounds really good FF, a positive end to the day!

Hope you get a good nights sleep

Reading through all this makes me sick!! I abducted my daughter did I? I AM HER MOTHER! I took her out of a bad situation that could have gotten very worse! My mother has just seen all of the abuse directed at her by that cretin who says he's concerned about my DD. IS HE HELL! All he wants to do is play dirty little mind games! My mother is sitting next to me right now in tears because of the lies and slander. So allaboutthekids if you're reading this...Thanks for the evidence of harassment! I'm sure my lawyer will find it interesting reading. The fact you have tracked me down onto a site where I tried to find support and posted your vile poison is SICKENING! I now know where your son gets it!

Please tell your mum not to get upset by the games that are being played out on this site. It may be distressing for her to read what is being said about you and her, but your lawyers will undoubtedly find it most interesting reading.

I suspect that the games that they are playing out on this site are due in no small part to the fact that, if they have consulted solicitors in this matter, they have been told that they haven't got a legal leg to stand on and that can be exceedingly difficult for those who are accustomed to getting their own way to comprehend.

The fact is that any/all grandparents and other relatives are dependent on your goodwill if they want to have contact with your dd and if they want to throw their money down the drainchallenge this in a Court of Law, on their head be it.

She's okay now. I had a chat with her and she got some sleep.
We're all feeling much more positive today :) Not long back from WA appointment, they are being so helpful in helping me plan for the future and stuff. DD is also making major progress with her walking! So I'm a very proud mummy today :D
Hopefully meeting up with a friend tomorrow (weather dependant as its bloody rotten here!) and pick up a few nice things for DD whilst we're out :)