HIM! ARRRRG!...First off, I promise I wasn't snooping. In order for me to access the email account his father has been contacting me on, I have to log in through his as I can not remember my password for the life of me. I seen this....
I was looking for some help. For around 6 years i have been in a relationship where I was subjected to domestic abuse. I never knew what to do about it because I imagined I would not be taken seriously as I am the male and she is the female, and I'm a lot bigger than her.
She laughed at me when I told her I felt I was suffering from depression. There were occasions where she punched me slapped me and kicked me whilst I just stood there. I once threatened to go to the police but she said if I did that she would say I hit her (which I would never ever do) and I would lose my daughter forever. She was very lazy and if I asked for help with the housework she would snap at me in a way that made me feel so terrible and so small. She knew how to work me and how to control me, she knew the things that I hated and would make me do what she wanted.
On Tuesday this week she was struggling to change our daughters nappy as she was kicking and screaming, I noticed and went to give her a hand. She screamed "You wee bitch" to our daughter and left the room. As she very rarely contributes to looking after our daughter and because I hate when she screams at our daughter it terrifies her, I tried to take a stand and show that I wouldn't take it anymore. I sat down and said to her "she is your daughter too, its a struggle sometimes but we have to do these things, you cant leave it all to me" and she asked me if i was accusing her of being a bad mother, I kind of stuttered and she shouted over me which ended with her storming off saying "you'll be sorry." She apologized and told me she truly wanted to change but I had to give her a chance.
I have since learned that when she stormed off she made a call to make arrangements to leave, and take our daughter to the other end of the country. I think she is using our daughter as a method to emotionally blackmail me. She did indeed leave and at the time I hadn't yet learned she was planning to. I know she is just doing this to punish me and teach me a lesson for questioning her and I know she will return. (she often has threatened me with taking Hannah away in the past)
the dilemma is that I love my daughter with all my heart and miss her like mad. She is everything to me because we have done everything together, she is my little girl. But I feel I will have to cave and allow her to come back, which I dont want to do because I feel I deserve better than this. If I don't cave-in I know she is spiteful enough to stop me from ever seeing my little girl again. I know she can't be a single parent because she hates putting in the work and she can't look after my girl properly. My partner also has a condition which, when not treated makes her very tired which makes matters worse because she hasn't taken her medication in the last year or so.
My partner has been treated very badly by her mother (whom my partner and daughter are now staying with which is so concerning) who has done things such as stubbed cigarettes out in her arm and kicked her repeatedly whilst on the floor and tried to push her down the stairs as well as when she was pregnant attacked her. I feel like she is becoming her mother and I am becoming her. I fear for my daughter too because one day she may act violent towards her as well as screaming at her.
Am I being selfish to consider refusing to reconcile and have us live here incase my daughter ends up in an environment that is worse and I cannot help her. I want to protect my little girl
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO ABOUT THAT?! Is this the shit he's gonna go to his lawyer with?! We agreed we'd play fair and now I see this! I feel like going through and caving his head in! ARRG!