Honey traps leading to kinky fuckery and other dating adventures (No 21)

[KirstyWirsty]

I want to know what Nicholas's tip was ... and the last thread was full!

Not related to the latest issues, but just for Snape and PM:

hahahaha! [hard stare] Bagsy I'm NOT Meg Ryan!

watch - thanks, will do!

I have a date this week, I am very nervous... he is a policeman, we are having a day-time date, I have never had one of them so I am thinking no jumping on me which is good! We are having coffee and it'sonly a 3 hour date as I need to be home for DC. He is very polite, but he swears so that's good as I swear a bit, sometimes without meaning it, they just pop out.

I also have another possible date at the weekend....I guess it depends how the police-man date goes, as the policeman stays closer, the other guy is nice too, well seems nice but he is the same height as me and lives 50 miles away!

So I need to plan what to wear now it is bloody freezing cold outside.

I'm a bit confused as I had intended meeting tgthe 50 miles away guy at weekend but I guess I will see how tomorrow goes and take it from there.

I told myself I wasn't dating this year but they just kinda happened! I am hoping for rain so I can wear my boots, oh I must look for them first!! So yes, possibly 2 dates in one week! We shall see...

Western - You can feel what you want to feel. It's what you do that counts. So if you feel out-of-control and are not comfortable with it, stick to one text a day and judge his response. Weekend Man is not inside your head, he doesn't know you are feeling this way. So just stay in touch and and if he's decent, he'll reply and you can take it from there.

Sponge. I am plainly talking out of my arse re. your situation so please just ignore me. I have only been OD for a couple of months and seem to have fast-tracked through imminent-marriage naivete to "fuck you all, I'm brilliant" .

It is not for me to say how you feel about yourself. And I have to bow to the knowledge of those who have greater experience than me. Especially when they are speaking sense unlike me

I still think you're way too good for 99% of them though.

ok, umm. prof update. we'd arranged a (ahem) 'play-date' tomorrow (...) at mine, but DS1 is off school today, a bit unwell, so might have to rearrange. he's suggested hotel. I've said I would feel a bit unhappy as I can't contribute £-wise. he replied,

"Please, please don't worry about money! This is FAR more important than a few quid. This is something that is making up the fabric of our lives. I fully expect to think about you on my death-bed and it to gve me a warm smile and feeling of well being, you dont put a price on that."

I'm being sweet talked aren't I? i like it.

I need some bizarre mad-scientist scheme to kind of mind-meld the prof and PM, if they were one person I'd be living on a very remote island somewhere very warm, wearing very little and spending my days making apple pies and being roughly ass-fucked.

madam - thats the thing, you can still think like' fuck you, im amazing' but not get anywhere, i thought that for possibly 3 out of the 4 years i was dating... and still not getting anywhere with it. KNOWING full well i was way out of most of their leagues. one had a ginger mullet for gods sake.

i think its just the constant rejection, especially from people who you know you wouldnt normally look twice at, thats the stinger.

its easy to not give a shit, its keeping that up for the lenght of time sponge has, thats the hard thing ( in the same respect that loosing weight is easy, its keeping it off thats hard)

and the whole no second date thing has probably become such a big thing, becuase of that....

snape - yes, you are being sweet talked.....
tbh, id take the offer..... why not.
maybe you take the pie.....
:)

absolutely NO way I'm going to a hotel and NOT splitting the room fee, I'd feel whoreish as it is ( a hotel! my mum would die, if she wasn't already dead!) He's not getting pie! (well....)

sponge important question - are you happy being single? I know we then need to define happiness, but are you relatively happy being single? what's missing from your life that you think someone else, a man might be able to bring to it? do not answer 'cock' what do you want from a potential significant other other than a second date

watch, have PM'd you x

Sponge - is it possible that you are giving off some sort of 'pleeeeeeaaassse be in a relationship with meeeee' kinda vibe? Do you actually want a relationship?

Or what snape said

I am relatively happy tbf. I'm not skipping down the road singing a song about the delights of singledom, but I don't cry into my pillow every night about being alone. I do like peace and quiet and my own space, when I was with the Evil Ex we used to spend a lot of time apart, whether in the same house but different rooms, socialising separately or whatever. What I miss - apart from the obvious, having someone on my side, being a united front together against the world, that kind of thing. I have friends for conversation, socialising, hugs even. I don't need a man in my life, but I do want one.

I doubt however it will be the one from saturday as he hasn't text me at all today (I've not sent anything either) which I guess is my answer.

Fuck, I'm such an idiot.

Texted Mr60 to wish him a happy birthday. He replied, asked how I was and I said "Oh you know - skint, bored, fed up and virtually unemployable but otherwise absolutely brilliant! :-) How about you?" He replied, "Ha ha, you're funny, intelligent, lovely and attractive. Fingers crossed your break comes soon xxx"

So now I'm sitting here in tears. Stupid me. Stupid man. Stupid emotions. What the fuck made me think I could speak to him and not end up in tears.

Going for a walk to try and clear my head.

Yoga, I think you need to delete his contact info (yes,all of it) otherwise you will keep being tempted. It's like constantly picking a scab off - it hurts and it stops you from healing.

Hugs, though.

well, we all want someone on our side, don't we - it's lonely and frustrating fighting all these little battles alone. I think it's easier to sum up that you I like being in love - that someone is thinking of you and you have plans together, shared experience. it's lovely. :)

I dont know what to suggest, lovely. I really dont. one of my friends used to say 'assume everyone is a cunt, then it's a lovely surprise when they turn out to be just like you' but I dont want to go around thinking there's something wrong with people. Internet dating does have a very special percentage of wangers - it doesnt mean everyone is horrific.

Too early to tell about Mr Saturday. If he is unwell (still ) then he might be asleep, let's not jump to despondent conclusions jsut yet. give it til 6PM (!)

oh yoga

Maybe you needed this one last interaction Yoga
Can you delete his number? I second that suggestion.

I do assume people are horrible. Or at least part of me does. That's why I'm not 100% surprised when this stuff keeps happening to me. Disappointed yes, surprised no.

Theres nothing anyone can say, no way to stop it happening. If I was religious I could tell myself it's all part of God's plan for me but I don't even have that.

And he's at work, he was yesterday. So no reason he can't text me. Other than not wanting to of course.

I'm NOT Meg Ryan!

Of course not, just Sally.

Ok, write him off.

I know you are happy too... :) I don't think its that.

Bugger, could we try some kind of blind date thing? We/ one of us, picks someone, chats on your behalf, organises the date... You both go, totally blind?

Then he will be amazed and super excited to see you again?

Or is that insane? I'm just sounding out ideas to go about this a different way, because it makes no sense.

Oh. And big bunch of flowers Have just Been delivered......

Yoga, ive missed that story. What's the score?

flowers?! on the penultimate penultimate message of the thread!!??

Mr L or YKW?