Is this all too fast?

[IrrationalFear]

First and foremost I'm insanely happy with the way things are but the odd friend is making comments which is upsetting me. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months. I've recently bought a house (my own name on the deeds) and he is moving in with dd (2.3) and I in october phallus going to pay half the mortgage. We have regular family days out with both sides of the family and we've talked about marriage in a year or two. Looking back it feels like we've been together forever not just since January. Sounds corny but we adore each other and are so excited about our future. Why are my friends being so negative?

Sassy - yes, in response to House saying how she is shouted at/hounded, i said 'calm down', as it was OTT. I said it in a calm way (if you could see my expression) - bored if anything of her being so dramatic.

I called you bitter twice, one as a question, you called me flippant etc, there were MANY others who did the same and much worse, so do not pick on me as if I have to answer for all of the posters.

I really don't think arguing over the OP thread is really in her best interests?

If anything it's going to put her off posting and listening to your posts of view.

You aren't reading the posts at all this evening are you tonne!? I said you and OTHERS.

Woserz. A very good indicator of a potential abuser. Is a man who rushes into "love" wants to hurry it all along and has improper boundaries wrt. Forming relationships especially with children.

Does not mean he IS. But it isn't a great sign. That's just reality.

I never called you flippant. Tonne are you the same poster as earlier? As you've totally changed

Likeatonne, the OP has significant financial assets AND A CHILD!!! Caution is advisable. I waited 2 years to move in with my DP, and we had none of this heavy shit to consider. OPs DP might be great, but if she does go down this route so soon she needs to protect herself.

thank God Wowser129 you are back, another poster who is measured in her judgements! I agree that all House is achieving is scaring OP off, not just the thread but off living life too! still no advice from her as to how many years of dating is a guarantee that a man is not an abuser. Hmm because there aer no guarantees.
All the 'romantics' urged OP to speak to te lawyer and she is doing it so she will protect the assets, and everyone advised also to slow down re dd, that's hardly 'romanticising'. But it's important to remain positive in life too. There is a middle ground!

Are you looking for people to gang up on me again tonne? Jesus wept.

House, can you now stop being personal? I'm not going to justify if and why I'm the same poster - ridiculous. I'm genuinely interested as to how long should anyone give a man to guarantee the non abusive future, I'm not interested in having a personal spat with you whatsoever, so let's stick to the subject.

Well stop talking about me then eh?

For god sake no-one has said to the OP move him in all guns blazing because love lifts us up where we belong!

Nearly everyone has told her to protect her assets and make sure she thinks it through.

I think it's a bit much to keep hammering on repetitively at the OP like her DP is going to turn abusive when you know next to nothing about him!

Let's all just say out opinions and let OP respond instead of detailing the thread repeating the same stuff.

House no I want someone on my side, why are obsessed with neing ganged-up on when it never happened? you have enough posters on your side so what's the problem? I find it hard work morally to fight on my own, that's my prerogative.

tonne I think you ought to tone it down a bit now tbh. House has given her views and explained, of course no-one can say that a specific number of years will ensure someone will never abuse, you undermine your own position when you overstate.

House I'm not talking about you, READ the posts - I ask you questions about OP's situation, and then you bring up what happened in the daytime, including what other posters did - i defend myself, and then you tell me not talk about you.

Tonne you are now sounding REALLY hysterical.

And Wowzers - there is a Mills and Boony type post further down which does exactly that

Tonne, you were ganging up on me earlier. What is wrong with you tonight? You've misread everything. You are using the wrong words to describe everything. You are being the only one who's personal here.

"oh thank god you're here all house is achieving"

Just leave it out!

Yes, let's now let Op to come back (if she is not scared off) and say what she thinks, and give more detail about her P and her ex.

Sassy you think it's rational that House accuses me of trying to gang up on her just because I'm glad to see one of the positive posters on here - that's hysterical.

I would still really like to know from OP if the friends who have advised her to slow down are reliable friends, the sort of people she would usually listen to. I think that is an important part of the picture really, because if my sister advised me that something was gonna go wrong i'd nod and then as she is the world's most pessimistic person...

House - I was voicing my opinion, it happened to coincide with others similar, why are you still bearing grudges on what happened in the day
? it's not healthy. surely the gang is on you side at the moment, apart from Wowser? why did you just accuse me of trying to gang up on you? it's juvenile (I never even used the term before).

smacks head against desk can you drop the personal attacks tonne? Please? Come on now.

You comment was clearly that. I am rational, Thankyou for your concern.

It is an important factor blue.....but there is a lot to consider....such as the haste etc. Why op has allowed him to become " Dad" so soon. Where are the boundaries? Did she ever get counselling, etc, etc. As all that will be an indicator as to whether she stands in good stead to have a healthy relationship.

I did not start the attacks, you did, including the 'ganging up on you' and bringing up your grudges, surely you can see that i have to defend myself from this incredible nonsense? I have a right to be glad to see a poster on this thread, and say so, she was the one saying Op can be scared off and i agreed. I also asked relevant questions about the timing which yo uchose to ignore, I'd GLADLY stick to the subject. Anyway, I want to hear more details from OP as no point going on without her responses.

I haven't read the whole thread, although reading the last few posts maybe I should have but purely based on your OP I just wanted to say that only you know if he is right for you.
I met DH on the Sunday, we went out for a meal on the Tuesday and two days later he met my son. I met his sons two days after that. Both of us admitted than in previous new relationships we hadn't introduced them to our children.both of us had had a bad time withregards to our childrens other parent, cheating, emotional abuse etc.
It just felt right and to cut a long story short I broke my foot after knowing him six days, he came straight round to help me out and still hasn't gone home - 12 years on! Our first son was born 13 months after we met, we married 2.5 years after we met and we have had another son since!
If anyone told me they were moving in together after six days I would think they were mad, but I knew it was right, good luck!