I'm being led astray on the crumpet front here. no no no, bad for my health (wheat intolerant). but oh so yum.
wise decision, Lou. HOpe work goes well today.
I wish I'd had a counselor like yours in my day. I was married to a narcissist chunt too but in those days, back when women wore stays, counselors didn't have the first idea about narcissists chunts. ONly one GP, who had half trained as a psychiatrist practically shouted GET AWAY FROM HIM. I was astonished, used as I was to counsellors saying nothing of any practical use. I listened to him and good job I did. Though I had to do all the research myself re narcissists - and there wasn't much about then. It was a bit like being very ill and having to perform my own operation.
narcissists chunts follow a specific pattern, a specific script, and victims of chunts also fall into the same holes. A good counsellor will flag up those patterns, those well-documented (now) behaviours. If you have been unlucky enough to be chewed up by a narcissist chunt, you will recognise those patterns a mile off - a lot of posters recognise a chunts behaviour and cut to the chase. If you haven't had the misfortune to be chewed up to within an inch of your life by a narcissist, you won't recognise it and will probably think people are jumping to shrill/dramatic/salacious conclusions. We're not talking your average person here who may have behaved very badly in a moment of stress but has redeeming traits you can appeal to. Chunts have no redeeming traits and are through and through chilling and there is nothing to appeal to because there's nothing there, only a chilling lack of empathy and an overriding drive to control their target - using any and every means; nothing is out of bounds. So, naturally, they go for the thing that will cause the most hurt, pain or damage because that gets results quickly, that undermines their victim mentally/physically/emotionally/financially etc quickly. They can have you decimated and in their power in a shorter timespan. Less work, you see. all that ttc headfuckery... 
So, instead of feeding me to the dogs, like so many of my counselors did (out of ignorance, probably), I'd have welcomed a counselor who laid it out like it really was to help me with the huge mental and emotional adjustments that come with disengaging from a narcissist erm chunt.
oh, and nothing makes any sense with a narcissist - you can't apply human reasoning re why did he do this when he was doing that? NOne of it adds up. so in the end you disengage and stop trying to work it out, knowing it's not going to make any sense. I could've done with a counselor who knew that. Particularly one who saw beyond the charm, or smarminess, unlike half the farking world who thought you couldn't meet a nicer, more gentle, more lovely man. pah.
bit verbose today. apologies.