I'm quite happy with a jar of Branstons

[LouP19]

Morning all.

Talking of Toast Toppers, he took 2 tins of that as well. Yes, really.

My pantry is now full of Heinz cheese ravioli and Tesco sausage and beans.

Is there any reason why the thread can't have a mixture of advice and more lighthearted chat? Some people are great on the advice. Some people are great on the chat. But both seem to be part of what Lou wants from these threads. There is definitely a place for sensible advice - and Lou seems to be taking what has been said on-board even if there is a bit of tooing and froing about what is actually the right advice - but also seems to find the general chat a relief. Given the big hole that has been created in her world and her life plan, who are we to say that she shouldn't have that as part of a support thread to help her to keep going and get her life back on track?

It is not the bleeding obvious to state that this counsellor is unprofessional and unethical, it is a personal opinion that has been challenged by myself and others.

I think Lou has very much considered the fact that ex will need to be involved and it is actually one of the many issues that she has to think about before she can come to a decision. She doesn't want to be tied to him forever, that is what she is considering.

I sincerely hope that this thread is not deleted as Lou may not wish to start another one. So please a but if respect for Lou and her feelings.

The pom pom waving works because it is supportive.
There's plenty of room for sensible, measured advise where appropriate. Also, I think there is a lot of room for humour, encouragement, and even my ridiculous poetry in places.
Lou comes across as a very warm and caring person who has been dropped in a vat of chutney shit, from a great height.

There is room for all of, providing that we are sensitive to Lou and her feelings.

The only parts that smack of an Eastenders plot-line are the actions of The Right Honourable Twunt.

As you were (a few hours ago please).

Oh FFS ....here we go again,

wetaugust had to laugh this morning a friend came over & presented me with a lovely homemade jar of............CHUTNEY!!

Then I had to explain why I burst out laughing.....she is an occasional MN-er so she has spent all afternoon catching up & Lou wants to pass on the thought that you "are fucking amazing" !!

only 150-ish posts to go, what was the new thread title going to be?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with pointing out the fact that if Lou goes ahead with this pregnancy, that will mean the involvement of her ex in the child's upbringing

I think the OP may have realised this herself

but nothing she has said indicates this

so Porto, you honestly genuinely believe that because Lou hasn't stated this in as many words, you think she doesn't realise it, & needs you to point it out to her?

really???

X-post Mistelthrush.

What's really ironic is that the counsellor, who has met the OP and almost certainly knows more about the OP and her situation that we can ever glean from a thread on an internet forum is criticised for advising yet it's perfectly acceptable to offer advice on there, that may be less than fully informed.

I have no pom-poms to wave - not my style anyway.

I just get rather irritated when a vulnerable person (and anyone whose H has just left her and who subsequently finds she is pregnant is vulnerable) has her RL sources of support i.e. GP, lawyer, counsellor criticised.

It's unnecesary and undermining.

Lou, I'm glad the counselling went well, and that the counsellor sounds like a good fit for you.

I don't have many good points That sounds like your H talking - not a description that matches the lovely you who has emerged on these threads, imo.

Really glad you had a positive session today Lou.

Chin up.

ignores rest of thread which really isn't helpful no matter which side of the fence you sit on

I actually bought some Branston yesterday. I hadn't planned to but needed some tomato ketchup and the Branston was on the next shelf - beckoning me

I think Lou should ask for a % of Crosse and Balckwell's profits this year as she's probably raised the profile of their product more successfully than any advertising campaign.

Do you know, I think it was last Tuesday night that the previous thread descended into madness. I think it would be a good idea if everyone had a nice cup of peppermint tea and hit the hay.

(Rather than the counsellor)

HA! She certainly has !

I was also given a jar of onion marmalade today.....I think I'm getting Chutney obsessed!!

Bossy - that would just be perfect with some Wensleydale on a crumpet

(...or the solicitor)

Lou, I'm glad you found the counselling helpful. Good luck at work tomorrow.

The point of the counselling is to help Lou decide whether or not to continue the pregnancy, since involvement with XH and his behaviour in future will be one of the key deciding factors for Lou, how could the counsellor not discuss it?

Oh balls, it was the solicitor, wasn't it! That'll teach me to not go back and double check. Good job you're on the ball.

Glad you found today so positive, Lou.

Loveisa I think you are right , 'tis nearly a full moon too!

OOh a bit of Wensleydale Grommet mistlethrush yummy!

Right off to bed night all!

Seymore, Lou can have several more sessions with the counsellor in the next couple of weeks. A first session to set the context today, then next time they'll talk more about the pregnancy and look at all of the issues surrounding that.

There's time for that.

Sorry, Seymour, misconstrued your post, have re-read and realise you know that.

No worries oldlady it wasn't very clear!

We don't know exactly what was said in the session, the counsellor might just have pointed out some of the possibilities (he could push for joint custody, or disappear completely). The important thing is Lou found it useful!

Your counsellor sounds fine to me, and I know a fair few. She was merely pointing out patterns, having met Lou, she is far better able to make a judgement about whether Lou can take reality than any of us.

It all sounds good Lou. Hope you sleep a bit later in the morning than you usually do.

Mumsnet hq, can you 'freeze' threads when they get silly? It would save deleting threads but people might be calmer after an hour. I'm just referring to your post, haven't read mush afterwards and it saves on hours of condiments too.

Lol - MUCH afterwards