I'm quite happy with a jar of Branstons

[LouP19]

Morning all.

Talking of Toast Toppers, he took 2 tins of that as well. Yes, really.

My pantry is now full of Heinz cheese ravioli and Tesco sausage and beans.

[FrankelSaysRelax]

[delurks]

[shudders at mention of "fish paste"]

My dad used to have fish paste sandwiches, and more specifically "bloater paste" [vom] I can still smell it now [yuck]

[relurks]

[BabylonPI]

Fish paste
< vomit face!

With raspberry jam??? As in, together???

Oh hell my stomach just let go

[LurkingAndLearningLovesCats]

Well this thread inspired me and last night I had salt and vinegar chips with sour cream.

So. Good.

[Coconutter]

What Babylon said.

Now waffles with maple syrup and banana - that's a different story...

[BabylonPI]

Coconutter, yes yes - that sounds much better

Salt and vinegar chips with sour cream sounds good too!

But fish paste with raspberry jam????!!!!! Eeeeurgh!

[juneau]

I have to tell you that I just went to Morrisons for about six things and I got a tin of baked beans with veggie sausages. I'll report back when I've tried them, but I'm partial to a veggie sausage (I don't eat 'real' sausages - too many gross things in them). Thanks for the tip!

[FrankWippery]

Fish paste is delicious. But with raspberry jam? That is wrong on every possible level.

Waffles with bacon and maple syrup. Now that is good.

[LouP19]

Morning all, thank you for your messages.

Just thinking, as part of my best seller novel on this whole horrible experience, I could put a 'recipes what got me through it' section at the back.

What do you think?!!! It's seems to be a recurrent theme - comfort foods to soothe the soul and mind during times of chaos,......

[juneau]

Good idea! What are you going to call the book? Do you need suggestions?

[skyebluesapphire]

lol. If you call the book Chutney, people will think its about food anyway.

How about:

A Life Beyond Chutney.

My Life is a Pickle, but at least it's not Chutney

The Chutney Guide - How to Survive a twat and Move On.

My own title for my own novel would be - An Elephant is for Life, not just for Christmas

[LouP19]

Yes, suggestions would be good, a nice way to end this thread. Not feeling particularly creative at this time of the morning, but I'm sure you all are. Especially Beckamaw

[snuffaluffagus]

I've been lurking, but I just wanted to say, good on you Lou. You're handling this brilliantly and as I think you can now realise, you're a million times better without him. Whatever you decide about your pregnancy, I think you'll be ok, you're so much better than him.

ps, I'm also veggie so thanks for the introduction of the beans thingamy from tesco!

[TheSilverPussycat]

Yy to bloater paste.

Yy to flirty linguistics students.

And hooray for all women who no longer live with twunts, or in this case, Chunts.

[LurkingAndLearningLovesCats]

I just had chutney of toast for tea (time zones)

Just thought...Lou, you're gunna make Chunt (love that!) into fucking toast.

You are so inspiring.

[garlicnuts]

Crumpet in the Oven
Don't Forget your Chutney!
The Vanishing Husband
Teaspoons and Chutney
Goodbye, and thanks for the cat food
He Said It Was Cricket
Thank you, Fedora

[LouP19]

Ha ha, Thank you Fedora. That's funny! You remember he said the woman in Italy was 'Fedora a business associate from the University of Rome'. When she was actually his knock off,.......!! God, what a twat.

[skyebluesapphire]

Hi Lou, you have inspired me to start a thread called "If you wrote a book on your life story, what would you call it."

I hope you have a good day. I've got mediation with the twunt later and Im not looking forward to it.

[gnushoes]

Delurking to say: fantastic going so far Lou.
Also, as someone who agonises over decision-making, I personally find it very helpful to go for a reasonably long walk in the countryside and just allow things to mull themselves over in the head. It usually works really well.
Back into the shadows .... good luck!

[Beckamaw]

OK
Memoirs of Chutney Twuntery - a saga of teaspoons, condiments and betrayal!
I'll try to think of more.

A nursery rhyme in his honour:
Hey diddle, diddle, the twat had a fiddle
With a cow, the fucking great loon!
He took chutney and meat to whisk her off her feet,
Why, he even made off with the spoons!

[clam]

Inspired. beckamaw you're a legend! Or, as my dcs would say, "a ledge."

[Jux]

Oh ye of little faith! Yes, fish paste together with raspberry jam. Try it. It's delish!!

....but you're meant to believe me

That's my suggestion for a book title, by the way, not a comment on my gustatory enthusiasms (banana and melted cheese toastie, anyone?)

[BabylonPI]

Oh Beckamaw you are a bloody linguistic genius!!!!

Keep them coming, I think Lou should dedicate a poetry section to the chutney twunt when she writes her book and include all of these ditties!!

you should of course ask for royalties

[BabylonPI]

And strike out fail

you should of course ask for royalties

[LouP19]

I've just had a mature cheddar sandwich with apple chutney for lunch.

And I don't even like chutney FFS!!! It's just hard to find sarnies for veggies in our campus shop.

(Just been to see if his car is in the car park, it's not. He might be trawling the streets looking for a solicitor I guess,......)

[Athendof]

With linguistcs scholar on the side? That would be a nice :-)