Chutney Twunt pt 3

[LouP19]

Back again, is this a record? How many threads can this bastard have? You are all keeping me going this afternoon - you and friends on email and friends on text. It's keeping me angry which is good.

He's such a shit. Such an utter shit. Never feel anything other than pity for the other woman. She doesn't know how much of a shit he is yet.

And he's still not being honest. If I had done half of the things he had, I would be begging forgiveness, whether I wanted the relationship to continue or not. Just person to person, I'd be so apologetic & trying to make your life easier right now.

I see no evidence of this. He's still not even telling you where he is even living, the spineless cunt. As though he owes you nothing.

I really can't believe it.

Stay angry. Keep strong, you're doing such an amazing job, I really mean it.

I don't suppose he has an iPhone so could be tracked using "find my phone" app?

Have you found out who lives at the address he gave you in the early days? They might have his actual address.

Sadwidow.... Lost for words

Allalonenow - on the first thread Lou said that she had Googled the address and it came up as his male friend. But when Lou forwarded mail to that address, Chutney Twunt got all angry and sent her an email to instruct her NOT to forward mail any more. He said he had every right to collect his mail from Lou's home whilst he is still paying the mortgage.

IMO - Chutney Twunt is NOT staying with the male friend.

Lou, once again, you are doing the best thing you can do just now, by channelling your hurt into anger. You are fully aware that you will eventually have to face the brutality of all that this man has done to you, but hopefully not until you are a little stronger emotionally. Whatever you decide to do regarding your pregnancy, I feel that it may well be a comfort , however slight, that you did in fact become pregnant. You would probably feel even more distressed right now, had that never happened, and knowing what you now know about the OW`s pregnancy. It may even help you to make a decision, once you see a professional to help you work through it all. I really hope so.

P.s google tracking devices. They might work out cheaper than private detectives. If you know where he parks his car at work you could do a DIY job.

My feeling is that OW will go berserk when she finds out that Lou is pregnant. Of course Chutney will probably try to say that the baby isn't his...that he and Lou were as good as over and he'll cast further aspersions on Lou's character to try to stop himself smelling of more shite.
I'd be very tempted to find out who she is and to tell her. But I've never been in this situation so perhaps that wouldn't be a good idea.

Lou good luck on Friday. I'm glad you're getting some proper legal advice.

I know belagh - even my head nearly imploded when I uncovered the bigamist marriage! BF's sister thought he was 'distant' and he must be having an affair. The OW had just given birth to their 2nd child. But in fairness, OW really thought she was married to him!

Oh, and he used his real first name with BF's sister and was known as a completely different first name by the OW.

The wife and the OW both met up on the Saturday and brought family pictures to confirm it was one and the same man!

No, SadW
I don't think he is at that address either, but Lou turning up there in floods of tears (not difficult to do!) and begging his friend to tell her where Chutney really is, might just work and save a few bob on a PI. Just a thought!

Bloody hell! I've just read the end of the other thread. What an utter fucker he is. Take your time, gather evidence against him and use it. All the best.

Oh.... and I should say that my BF's sister had paid for 2 weeks of PI who came up with nothing! She just couldn't afford to pay a PI any more and the reports were 'useless'. I had him nailed in 7 hours ..... but he didn't know my car and he didn't suspect that 2 women in a car two cars behind his were tailing him .

(That was the main 'trick' my DH taught me. In the police, they don't 'sit on the car' they are tailing, they tail from a distance point where they can accelerate if their suspect because suspicious.)

Assuming the OW is indeed pregnant and this isn't another of his lies . . .

then can I second (?third) what Skye said. Having to decide about your pregnancy is difficult enough, but what heartache could be added to that to find out, later on, that all the time that he was talking to you about having a termination, he was going ahead and having a baby with someone else. That is utterly cruel. As a man - and I use the term in its broadest sense with regard to him - he knows he has time on his side re fertility and that you don't. He isn't thinking of you at all. From what I see here, you mean nothing to him. Actually, it seems worse than that: you are some kind of obstacle to be crushed. I think his actions and his words would risk seriously affecting anyone's emotional and mental stability - and that is inhumane. And he is doing this to his wife?! God help the OW and anyone else who comes across him in the future.

Please never be fooled by him if at any time in the future he tries to be 'nice'.

I think the one thing that Lou can count on is that there has been a huge number of lies told about her and about their relationship, sad to say. And also the OW will be told that Lou has obv slept with the postman.

You may only use a tracking device on someone else's car if the driver is made aware of the device and permits this. Do not do this. Hiring a PI is perfectly legal.

Imagine the conversation

"Ms Napoli, Lou is pregnant too, I don't know HOW it happened seeing as how we've been split up since May. She says it's my baby and I'm sure she's not lying. She must have paid for IVF and used my frozen sperm. Or when I went round that time to talk about the divorce, I thought the chutney tasted funny and I felt all weird, I bet she drugged and raped me.

She must have really wanted my baby. No, don't go mad, we should feel sorry for her. And btw, we can't afford that new house with the nursery now, and you'll have to go back to work a bit sooner as we'll have to pay for Lou's baby too. And sorry, you can't meet my family ever now, they are a bit religious and have moved to a commune in the Amazon rainforest. Oh well, I'm sure they would have loved you too "

I hope his nob turns green and falls off.

Allalonenow - I see what you are saying now.

I have no problem in using the gammit of feminine responses to get what I want. I once couldn't exit a train at Rotterdam because the doors shut too fast and off I went to the next stop! I was due to catch a plane home.... with lots of commitments the next day!

I turned on the tears and became the 'little woman who needed help'. Suffice it to say, the train was taken back to the airport terminal and my bags were whisked and carried whilst I ran.....

And I am an extremely strong and independent woman. (An academic like Chutney Twunt.)

If he is working in one of the Universities in the NW, I have enough contacts and access to tail him for Lou.

Yes, get proof of her pregnancy and EDD. And refuse to communicate with him other than by email, so there is a trail if everything he is telling you.

I think his rush to counselling makes a little more sense now: he was trying to get through all the typical pre-divorce-decision things as soon as possible, doing as much damage as possible. My guess is that OW has believed him to be separated with divorce nearly through. He might even have proposed (sorry) or she might be pressuring him to marry. He's got it fended off until after OW's baby arrives, but will have difficulty in getting out of a wedding next year. Hence his need for quick and clean divorce now.

Hello, delurking just to make a practical suggestion in among all this hideousness that you're going through.

I know your priority at the moment is sorting out this mess with the Chutney Halfwit, but please don't lose sight of the fact that you actually are pregnant. If there is even an outside million to one chance that you may decide to keep this baby, perhaps it might not be a bad idea to think about starting to take folic acid and making sure that you're feeding yourself well? I'm sure it's not easy to really think about the possibility of an actual baby but just in case?!

Apart from anything else you're feeling exhausted and your hormones won't be helping that. Eating more may give you more energy. Don't forget to look after yourself x

Hi Lou

Tempting as it is to blow him out of the water with OW, it might not be the best tactical move yet. At the moment he can afford to keep paying the mortgage because he's shacked up with her, but if she kicks him out what's the betting that he tries to move back into your house? Can you legally stop him if he decides to come back - something to ask the solicitor?

Also I like the idea of him continuing to shit himself about her finding out, whilst you've still got that card to play then you have the upper hand.

Although it would really put his bum to the pitchfork to make him wait for a divorce, Lou needs to see from her solicitor what sort of financial obligation this man would have in the case of divorce vs. the situation right now where she doesn't even know where to track him down if he decided to stop paying bills and the mortgage. She really needs to sort out what his financial obligations are right now to the creditors and utilities they owe jointly and he needs to be apprised of whatever responsibilities he has.

I wonder if a court order to continue to pay the mortgage and half of household bills would be possible, given the fact that Lou is not working part time while TTC (there is proof of involvement with the fertility clinic to back up this claim).

I am going to sign off now in an attempt to eat something (thinking half a tin of veggie beans and sausages with grated cheese) and then my Mum is taking me to the Co Op to get some food to eat for the rest of the week.

My boss has just rang up to see how I'm doing.

It's just so awful he was trying to get you to abort and saying now you knew there wasn't a problem you could try again in the future. Really? When he had another baby? He was just manipulating you.

Do what you want to do re. the baby, just make sure it's your decision and not his. Best of luck.

I have been down the long-time ttc route and if I had found out my husband had got someone else pregnant at the same time I'd have been furious and devastated. I'd want her to know too. At the very least she should find out who the father of her child really is.

• not working part time

Call me a cynic, but I'd be very sceptical about OW's pregnancy at this stage. I mean, he's not exactly been truthful to date has he?

So glad the solicitor is on side and suitably pitbull-like. Take him to cleaners!

Good that your boss cares about you. Did you tell him/her about the latest developments? Enjoy your food. I still want to smack him in the mouth. Pity we can't organise a 'flash mob' of MN supporters to turn up at his work and confront him - OW would then have some mega skidmarks laundry problems to deal with - eeew!