Chutney

[LouP19]

Where do I go? My thread has gone?!!

Bit upset by the soap opera comments, but understand it probably came out wrong. I like a quiet life. I like reading. I like staying in. I like cats. I like gardening and looking at stuff in Dunelm mill. This is NOT me at all.

Good luck to you Lou!
What a week for you! You are a tower of strength and sense.

Good luck Lou. You sound like you have am amazing family behind you.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

You will get people saying how unbelievable it is finding out you're pregnant etc etc and doubting you but it can and does happen. I am currently nearly 15 weeks pregnant and I only found out after exp and I had split up and he had been arrested - very soap opera but it was true.

Your husband sounds like a right arse and i think you will look back in a few years and wonder what you ever saw in him.

I posted a long "OMG!" style thingy on your last thread which was thankfully too full of proper-style responses to have any space for my nonsense.

Three things

(1) You don't have to decide yet about whether you're ready to become a mother. Breathe, eat, and let it sink in.
(2) Someone said on the old thread that very few women set out to have a baby on their own, but many do it really, really well. I dunno if you saw any of chocoraisin's threads but her H walked when she was about 12 weeks pg and had an 18 month old, and she has (with lots of support from her parents) got a beautiful little family of 2 boys now, and is full of plans for the future.
(3) If you want/need a clean slate and time to think about yourself and get through this divorce without further complications, I, for one, will be cheering you on all the way. Give yourself time to work out what's going to be best for you.

also (4) So much power to you!

What a shock about th pregnancy. Congratulations and I know you won't be thinking clear but I imagine you're thinking 'I wanted a baby, his baby but I don't know who he is anymore'

All you can do is take your time, talk it over, digest it and do what feels right x

Oh, I have to go and read the last few post on the other thread have clearly missed something!

HOpe that you are ok?

It seems congratulations are in order.

BRB

Hey, Lou,

Ok I am all caught up now!

Congrats.

Please Please Please, take your time and don´t tell STBX untill you WANT to. He does not deserve this information, so keep you guard up and wait untill you have had chance to digest everything.

Also I think ti may be a good idea to phone and make an urgent appointment with GP, you have been under shed loads of stress etc and it would be a good idea to get some support etc.

Good luck and congratulations.

Saying hi on your new thread. You are an inspiration. Congratulations again & remember everyone is rooting for you so continue to talk it all through on here & with your family. Ignore the rude,bitchy & unnecessary comment earlier. She clearly doesn't have any idea of how inconvenient life can sometimes be.x

Excellent thread title Lou.

Holy Crap LouP!

Just when the rains starts to ease ......... a monsoon appears.

I am going to polish my armour and saddle up my big white charger then I'm coming to get you...... (just hope DW doesnt miss me too much)

Take your time with regards to every decision you have to make. You wont be thinking straight atm. a few days will help to put life back into perspective again soon.

FWIW when my exDW buggered off with my mate a solicitor told me not to bother with solicitors. ExDW did bother and I negoiated with her solictor for a few weeks until we had an amicable result...... apart from the fact that it cost her £1000's and me the price of a few stamps so clearly one to me there.

All may seem unreal and just a bit OMG!! but things will settle down soon and with the help of your awesome family and the wonderful people on here you WILL SURVIVE.

Think of the Jeremy Kyle show you can get out of this!!! Copywrite the last few days and sell it to Hollywood........ come to think of it no one would actually believe it.

Thinking of you. Even us blokes.

Wtf? Why would anybody think this is made up? It's horrendous,yes,but it's very clear from Lou's obvious emotional distress that this really happening. For goodness sake!

Fantastic title for your next thread! Made it very easy to find.

Congratulations! What a roller coaster of a week you are having. How extra exhausted you must be feeling by this, not to mention confused, disorientated, worried and all.

This is something that your DH has no idea about yet. Tell him in your own time, as mummyinspain says.

Well, Lou, congratulations! I had assumed you'd had a heavy bleed just prior to ChutneyTwat's summary departure, but now see that's not the case. I am very impressed by your little - what is it now, a blastocycst? It's stuck in there, despite the most disruptive week of your life so, thus far, is showing all the courage and determination of its lovely mum :) As so many have said, now is not the time to make any decisions about this. There's so much still to happen. Things will work out, I promise.

Rest up. There's no sense in powering through such a series of shocks. You can afford for nothing to happen over the coming night and day, so please surround yourself with comfy cushions and lovely people. Eat some food!

All the best.

Calm Down..... I do believe it.

but its one of those situations where fact is stranger than fiction and if you did make it up then you would be laughed at for having such a ridiculous imagination.

LouP is in a very horrible situation ATM and we all feel for her.

Wow what a hard place to be stuck right now.

I understand that you have been trying for a baby however there is lots for you to think about.

Having this child will tie you to your ex H for the rest of your life. Not good.

Get back to the GP and see if they can get you some counselling to help you try and get your head around this! Take your time to make the right decision for you. Whatever you decide I am sure your family and friends will be right behind you.

Good luck.

Actually, balotelli, humour is one of the consistent features in the many Emotionally Abusive Crackpot support threads I've been on. It is hard to believe such stupendously, distractingly, weird people exist (which is why they get away with it) and - like any test of credulity - has a funny side. You're not wrong.

Lou, you're already processing the chutney weirdness and his texts with humour :) It will help you come through this and out the other side! As Balotelli says, people probably wouldn't believe it in fiction. Real life, though, follows some 'interesting' twists and turns ...

Rest up! Eat!

Balotelli, I think tuckingfits's "WTF!?" was referring to the MNHQ message that TeamEdward has c&p'd over from the other thread, not your post.

Just to say that I hope you got on ok at the Dr's. Please don't put pressure on yourself to make any decisions yet, you must still be reeling emotionally. One day at a time xxx

Icoulnd't post on old thread must have reached 1000.

Okay so you must be in total shock over baby, please be re-assured valium will have done nothing, I too was taking them pregnant, without realising it (I was told I needed IVF so though I couldn't get pregnant).

Please do not think you need him as you are pregnant, it could make things worse. I stayed with ex as I was pregnant, it did not work, it makes things a little more confusing and yes you are now tied to him which is horrid ime.

Lots of decisions to make the most important one is you must take care of yourself, congratulation and no wonder you feel so "all over the place" this on top of hormones must be awful.

Remember he pushed you out of a car. He is a twunt and the other word that rhymes with it. How he do this knowing you were trying to concieve? Argh @ some most men.

If it makes you feel any better my life is SO Jeremy Kyle at the moment I have started watching it to attempt to find people in a worse situation than me. Then I seen a lady right freak with the exact same jumper as me, so switched over.....

You need to take care of yourself and your cats, more yourself and be careful when scopping those poops if they stay in!!

Thanks for the thread title, so much easier to find than I thought!

The Soap opera title I suggested was not at all meant to be catty (as suggested on the previous thread).

I used to say this all the time about my own life after a series of horrible stuff last year after my DH admitted his affair. Everything seemed to happen like a row of dominoes falling. It really was as if a soap opera writer was writing my life for about 6 months.

I live a quiet life too - and everything was so out of its usual run and very shocking - like living someone else's life.

Not asking for sympathy - just explaining.

Yep I was astonished that people had been questioning Lou's authenticity,not a comment directed at balotelli. Yes, rightfedup the domino effect can be awful. I apologise for mistaking your previous comments as unkind.

Bloody hell.

I've been reading the post from Lou from the outset. I've been open mouthed at most but just didn't have any words of wisdom to give as you've been getting fab advice.

Re the pregnancy, so youve had no blood loss since you thought you'd had a CP? I hope the GP has offered some bloods to test hormone levels?

Jeez what a shock.

My life is like a soap opera - actually, it would be rejected as too OTT. imo real life is often so outlandish you couldn't make it up.

sweetheart, you have your heart's desire. Not the best circs, no, but you can keep this little secret to yourself for the timebeing while you wait to absorb it. Personally, I wouldn't tell sperm donor shitface ever yet - give yourself time to process this. It is such early days but I stayed glued to my ex because of maintenance and, all-in-all, I wish I hadn't. If he doesn't see you he won't know (and don't tell anyone yet except nearest and dearest? sworn to secrecy?) and you could make out it was someone else's keep quiet about who the father is.

I'm sorry but I'm one of those who believes that no father is better, by far, than a bad father, which is contrary to current wisdom. anyway, you have a choice here but don't make any decisions yet - get yourself calm and cosy for the forseeable.

congratulations btw

I neither want to offend anyone nor divert this thread into a debate on a contentious issue but I think I should just point out that while Lou is pregnant, there is as of yet no "baby". A baby is the result of continuing with the pregnancy. I don't know how far pregnant you are Lou, but it's your choice whether you want to take the pregnancy to term and become a mother.