please please help

[LouP19]

I have come home and my husband has moved out all of his belongings. Everything, even the garage is clear. He dropped me off after work and said he had to go and play cricket and needed some time on his own. I was distraught and said we needed to talk. Things haven't been right for a few weeks, he has denied somebody else.

All of his belongings are gone. I am shaking. No one knows where he has gone. Married 5 years, no kids. Please please help.

You don't need to bother to reply to his latest text mind game Lou, he will find out soon enough why you need his address, and you don't need to soften the blow by warning him in advance.

As an aside, I so want your cats to be called Dolce and Gabbana!!

Phew, that's a relief. For one horrible moment earlier on, I thought that the arse might have christened your cats Chutney and Marmalade. Keep on truckin', ducks, you are doing so well. x x

at Twuntneys!

Sorry for delayed reply, I could not find phone earlier. Hope you were worried, I love a good mind-game, don't you?

I do not know why you need a contact address but if it makes you feel better than it is XXXX. You are putting the wind up me a bit and I hope you're not intending to stalk me, because, as I say, I like a good mind-game.

You have not said anything about D and G (cats) and I asked about them at least 3 times.I think you are forgetting that this is all about ME and MY feelings.

Would have appreciated an acknowledgement yesterday too. Think I might divorce you for unreasonable behaviour, I mean really not putting my mind to rest when all I'm doing is asking after the cats - what have I ever done to you?

I am staying with folks til Monday evening. Please don't come round to the address I've just given you.

i hope you have had a good day. I hope you are sitting around missing me and thinking about all my good points and wishing you'd treated me better.

I am really sorry again to have caused you any pain. I love you xxx I am a selfish member chairman and founder of the Twuntney club and couldn't give a shit about anyone that isn't ME, ME, ME!

Been reading this thread since the beginning and have never heard anything so shocking in all my life! What a total wanker, mother fucking cunt! And I don't say cunt lightly. I think you are doing amazingly. Take him (coolly and calmly) for everything. Living well and being happy will be your revenge. You're doing great, Lou xxx

Leverette - 'Fortnum and Mason' - LOVE it!!

Lou - that's hilarious! Scarlet and Ivana have got him sussed too :) How sadly predictable he is...

Wow. Just wow.
What planet is he on?
I am speechless. And I kind of hope OW is a PhD student, and he loses his job over it.

Go Lou.

Fuck him, and fuck his fucking chutneys.

What a horrible speciman he is.

You are amazing. You are doing so so well. I don't know you but if you were my friend I would be so proud of you. In fact I am proud of you! Keep going - your future may be not what you thought it would be but a better, happier one is coming your way.

'I am staying with folks til Monday evening.' Please don't come round to the address I've just given you.

Hmm, hadn't thought of that. Of course I've instantly google mapped it.

Re: the word cunt. I never used it either, but am using it freely. Even in front of my Mum.

Have searched the address, it is the chap who he claimed to be staying with, IF it's the truth. To be honest, I don't know what I believe any more and I know it's completely irrelevant now. But I am wondering if he's holed up in this place, surrounded by all his DVDs and his CDs and his model tanks, comparing my list with hers. And marking how well we respond to his texts. May be we'll both be sent a report shortly on how well we're doing.

Cunt. Again.

I hope he loses his job and is not allowed to teach again.

Then I hope his penis becomes infected and drops off.

It couldn't happen to a nicer man.

UA, this dengue fever? Is it painful?

"model tanks?"

This gets better and better!

Cakeismysaviour - thank you for a wonderfully apt, brilliant post to end my day. Brilliant.

I'm SO tired again so checking out now, but will no doubt be back tomorrow after solicitor. I've also got a nurse appointment about something completely different, but am going to ask procedures about STIs.

Sleep well and thank you all so much. I have NO idea what is happening in the Olympics or the outside world, for all I know it could've caved in. Oh yeah, it has. :-(

My Dad is coming over to stay tonight. My Dad!! Jeez, this is totally unreal!! But very much appreciated!

Sounds awful about how he pushed you out of that car on holiday. I think a lot of these abusive men are just so utterly charming to the outside world, which just increases your shame and embarrassment when they do do something awful like the above, because of course who would you believe you and what if it's something in you that made them act like that?

Feel free to give us more examples if that would help you, because you should have no shame about how HE has behaved and it might make you feel good to hear other peoples' outrage over them.

Hope you have a restful night's sleep. And good luck at the solicitors. I wish I could see his face when he learns you're divorcing him. What a victory.

He's got a list for you and a list for her? Is he Ross from friends?

Twat

He's given you an address of somebody he could plausibly be with....

He's quick to be indignant if you don't reply to his texts quick enough isn't he? cheek of him.

I am chiming in here to say that I'm another one (like Hesterton) who did a stint at her parents in her 40s. Was the best thing at the time.

I think OP you are doing admirably in the circumstances and I wish you the very best with your dealings with this shit of a man.
But I do think that you may be becoming identifiable from this thread, unless you have changed some key facts.
All the best for the future

Lou, I've been reading your thread in amazement - amazement that he's such a self absorbed cunt and amazement that you are dealing with it so fantastically well.

I don't think I have any particular words of wisdom for you, and everyone else has given fabulous advice, but when you see the solicitor it might be worth making him/her aware that he took every item he believed was his when he left including the fucking chutney and a selection of cutlery but he left the cats. I'd say that is a clear statement that they are yours and that through his behaviour he has demonstrated he believes that they are yours.

He. Has. Tanks?

Lou, that has to be cited as a reason for the D. You put up with so much

Another one here, I really admire your composure in the face of all this. I think the incident where he pushed you out of the car is awful, I can imagine it is hard to admit stuff like that if you've been protecting him for a long time but you probably need to review all these things as part of a series which ends in how he left.

I hope all goes well with the solicitor. If they are not up for a fight seek a second opinion - don't let him off lightly.

That cats should remain in their habitual domicile

Now you have an address, don't forget to send some chutney recipes with the divorce papers.