It is happening - we are meeting up. // I'm bursting!!!!

[LoveChlorine]

My OH and I split about 3 years ago. We get on well, I think if is fair to say that we are both keen to get on for the sake of our DDs.

Lately I have been getting on well with DD1's coach. We developed a text EA, (his relationship broke down earlier in Feb this year, our texts started about 2 months ago). We have now agreed to meet at a local Beef Eater for lunch with a hotel connected to it on Monday. The plan is to have lunch but I can not help thinking about the hotel next door. I so want to end up at the hotel... Stuff lunch!!! Doubt I will be able to swallow anything anyway... I can't think of anything else. Have made an appointment for waxing etc. this saturday. I'm not sure if this is love but I haven't felt like this in ages and haven't had any ... since OH left.

I feel as if I'm going to burst.... totally terrified... and exited.

10 years younger... make it 15 at least...

Any advice appreciated... Please help.... This can so not go wrong...

You won't want my advice, because it involves not going to the hotel.

We both have DC's it would not be right to meet up at our homes. I would not do that until this develops in to something more secure.

Imperial - would very much like to hear your advice.

Um... Does getting on well with your childrens' father include you having a new partner?
And please.... Not on the first date. I just don't think that's a good idea.
Nothing whatsoever wrong with moving in to s new relationship, just take it slowly. And good luck.

First date? This can so go wrong if you adjourn to that hotel.

FFS, show some restraint until he's absolutely besotted with you and gagging for more than a quick shag.

In the meantime, get yourself a rabbit.

I'm best of friends with dd's father but that is all it will ever be. That relationship is over.

If you go to that hotel with him, it'll be the last time you go out with him.

Hate to sound like my mum here, but it's a plain and simple fact.

Let him get to know you. Let him want you. Get to know him. He might be irritating as hell close up. He might have dreadful relationships. Find out more about him and take it slowly.

We have know one another for about 2 years now. But until early this year he was still in a relationship. Nothing ever happened but we do know one another well. It is not as if we only just met.

Perhaps should have added that to my OP.

I really appreciate your advice.

It doesn't really matter, though. You are just starting a relationship. Take it easy and slowly. Enjoy that lovely will-we, won't-we phase. Don't rush it.

And, do you want to be the sort of person who goes to a hotel with a man on a first date? Really? You've more class than that, OP.

No, don't go to the hotel! I'm an old cynic, and think if you get over excited before a first day you risk disaster (usually in the fom of the man cooling off very quickly!) I mean, yes be excited, but don't pin everything on this, you really don't know him at all yet. Take it slowly, otherwise you're just in love with the idea of who he might be/ the idea of a relationship. In my experience, most men run a mile if they sense this!

First date at a Beefeater? Dump the bastard.
As if that's not bad enough. Do NOT go to the hotel..agree with others.

But if it was luncheon at the Ritz... Pompano?

I say go to the hotel and shag like rabbits

I slept with DP on the first date; we're still together six years and two kids later.

Enjoy

I agree with Tethers.
DP and I somehow ended up in a hotel the first time we met.
3 yrs down the line - there are 3 of us in this bed. I am currently BF 5 mth old DD between us.

I slept with DH the day I met him (dirty hotel sex). He's now asleep next to me while I'm awake because I'm pregnant and the uterus dweller is up and active.

I just had a lovely trip down memory lane remembering the days when athletic sex was possible

Lol at you lot pissing on her parade!

These are all great stories but ill wager there are also many instances when it doesn't work out so good.
I would raise an eyebrow if my daughter said she was going to do this - I feel it's too much too soon.

But still, good luck!

Yes, there are instances where it doesn't work out and there are instances where it does.

Op if you want to go to the hotel and you find he does too then go, if he is a keeper then he wont run a mile, if not then you've at least had a nice shag and found out quicker than if you had dated him a while and got emotionally involved. Don't see what you have to lose.

Admit to yourself what you want, and then give yourself permission to have it.

DO NOT mix this up with 1. a relationship, 2. being liked for who you are, 3. respected 4. anything else might happen other than mutually agreed tension release.

That way, you stay real, stay in control and don't set yourself up for failure/rejection/ anything else.

Lousy place for a first date though. Sorry but it is. If it's important for it not to go wrong then I honestly think you should try to calm down. I don't have much time for text relationships. What does that mean?

Why on earth have you chosen a Beefeater to meet at?! I need to know this out of pure nosiness before I can comment properly

OP - I've been racking my brain trying to work out what an EA Relationship is.

I know people think it is "classy" and "having self-respect" to hold out for a date where the man spends money but sorry this is not 1950 and that actually sounds a bit like prostitution to me.

So what if it is a beefeater FFS? WTAF? Maybe the op will even pay for her own food, what will you tell her then - "you are mad for sleeping with him, I wouldn't unless he bought me xyz!" yes, classy...

I shocked a man 6 years ago on our first date by inviting myself back to his place. Today I'm enjoying breakfast in the garden while he is wrestling changing and dressing our 6 mo DD

See what happens, and either way, enjoy it!