More than smacking

[verysadmum]

For obvious reasons, I've changed my name for this one.

My child has been hit (by hit I mean more than a smack & leaving a bruise) by his Dad on more than one occasion, I know I have to do something but what?

Have you had any experience in this? Obviously anything that prevents him being hurt is the best solution but what would you do? Social services to report? Solicitor to get injuction? Something else?

URGENT!! TIA

If he gets home in a bad mood I quickly make plans!! or failing that go on MN and ignore it.

for staying with him and saying he's not like that he's lovely. He has never ever spoken to me or frightened me in public though, thats why he is weak

Well if you are - I am too (actually I think I am so that probably doesn't help!).

He was only ever verbal (i.e. not aggressive) in public and generally only in front of people we didn't know. I was embarrassed so many times. There have been times when I've pretended to others not to be with him! He liked (likes) to put me down in front of people we knew though, I used to laugh it off and pretend he was joking, except I knew he wasn't.

You are me

and as I've said

you are me.

Still, still, had the power to make me think it was me, and i kept thinking no it's not, but in the end i started to believe, some of me still does, perhaps if i'd not wound him up the wrong way etc....

again... you ARE me!

I know deep down it is all wrong, but I still keep blaming myself and what I hadn't/had done.

It is such a wierd thing to explain, if i'd heard a women before now, i think i would have told her to get a grip. and you wouldn't see me putting up with that

That's so true.

If you heard the details you'd say "leave" or "throw him out" and they'd say "but it's complicated" and you'd wonder how it could possibly be...

I feel better already i have a very strange selective memory, i forget what he has done, i don't know why????? I miss him and think he's wonderful and all the incedents go out of my mind. Once i start remembering i don't miss him anymore, still breaks my heart though, i wish he hadn't, i wish he had the fucking guts to be the man he could be

I'm with you there. Talking about all this has made me glad that he's not here and made me more determined to resist him Christmas Day...

Yep, lets keep this up, we should do this more often, they don't deserve our help or tears, i'm going to bed now, i'm exhausted with that man and i think i'll sleep easy tonight. You do the same x
Thankyou so much i've had a brilliant chat, i think we should really enjoy christmas, we have put up with a lot, and i am proud i'm alone and can make my children wonderful

Oops ds has just woken up. I'm going to have to say good night. Are you still there?

Yes we must do this again. I am feeling so much more postive than when I logged on earlier. Thank you xx Sleep well

Yes i am but only to check if you'd written anything back. Takecare, i'm worried that its not over for you yet, but i promise i will be your friend

... and I will be yours! (and I know it's not over but I'm not going to go there again tonight!) xx

x

I haven't posted with regards to the things happening in your life before, but I have read this and other threads and have been so shocked and saddened by what I have read.

I think you have done the absolute best thing for you and your son - no woman (or man) should have to put up with the absolute crap that your husband has put you through. So many women stay in brutal and abusive relationships because they don't have the courage or confidence to tell their partners to f**k off, so keep telling yourself how brave and strong you have been to come this far. Even as someone who doesn't know you I'm so, so impressed. Make sure you keep strong over Christmas - there is so much pressure from society that somehow Christmas has to be perfect and has to be about being with someone "special". Well you do have someone special to spend it with - your son, who you've given the best Christmas present ever - the chance to live a life free of the fear of a cruel and bullying man.

Firefly - best wishes to you - the stunt your ex pulled was the meanest, cruelest, vilest thing ever. Thank God for your super-supportive family. I hope your ex chokes on his turkey.

Happy Christmas to both of you and hope 2004 is the best ever!