More than smacking

[verysadmum]

For obvious reasons, I've changed my name for this one.

My child has been hit (by hit I mean more than a smack & leaving a bruise) by his Dad on more than one occasion, I know I have to do something but what?

Have you had any experience in this? Obviously anything that prevents him being hurt is the best solution but what would you do? Social services to report? Solicitor to get injuction? Something else?

URGENT!! TIA

..but you still miss him...?

Soooo much, it breaks my heart, that this is me and this is what happened, and this is the man he turned out to be, i want his lovely side with me now

SNAP!!! totally

I try and stay strong my head is ruling, and thats what i need otherwise my life would have got worse and worse. But my heart wants the nightmare to be over have a wonderful christmas with the old man i knew and my childrens daddy. It couldn't and won't ever happen but the grieving process is beyond what i could have imagined. It is like coming off a drug i believe

Are you still at home, when does he get back

I know. My head is very much get him out of our lives, my heart often is too but right now I'm feeling lonely and I want my old life back BEFORE this all happened. I so nearly called him earlier to see if he wanted to wrap pressies with me. I didn't obviously and I wont but the huge temptation was there...

The pain is like coming off a drug (not that I have that experience but it IS a craving)...

I'm still at home atm. He will be over Christmas day morning to watch them open their pressies (at least I've bought some now) once I've wrapped them that is. Then 'we' will be going over to my parents for the afternoon. 'we'll' leave together but go our seperate ways home...

He moves back Sunday

I know what you mean about wrapping presents, i felt like that putting the christmas tree up, i felt numb though, i just did it. Christmas for me is something i'm doing because you've got to. I miss him, but don't want "him" now. I spent a long time with my x trying to help him and he shot me in the back. You have been amazing like everybody says. It takes a lot of guts to do what you did, i couldn't. Be really proud of yourself. Thats your present

You do what you do, and nobody could tell me otherwise, but i wish you weren't seeing him over christmas, i don't think he deserves it

Thanks. I don't feel amazing and I don't believe I am. I just feel sad and yes numb to a certain degree. If it wasn't for my children I wouldn't be 'doing' Christmas this year at all. I need to get my ar$e into gear though. They are so excited - I just wish I could be too...

As you said I don't want 'him' now either and I know it's impossible to have the 'him' that was...

Are you sure he won't be lovely on christmas day and then you'll decide not to go your seperate ways, because it feels so good to not hurt anymore

I wish I wasn't seeing him over Christmas. It is almost like I can't grieve yet. It's not over...

It's not over, it takes until what i have now done

That's exactly what I think might happen and I know my head has got to rule... I just so want to feel good again...

I don't think you can for a while, sorry, and i don't think you can let him go yet, i believe that like me there is still a part of you that can sort it all out. All i know is for the past 6 months i still tried to look out for him, and i nearly had a nervous breakdown. That is when i said no more. I thought because i had lived with his aggresion, i deserved something out of it. I won't get it from him, still love him, but he needs to survive on his own. Understand the consequences of behaving like that. Nobody can help people, they need to feel what happens when they abuse trust

Are you still there?

Yes i will be, will you x

I'm not going anywhere for a while...

I haven't slept properly for ages really, the occasional okay night but generally I can't sleep.

I know I can't continue or I'm going to end up having a breakdown (or get close like you did). I just need to concentrate on getting through the next few days...

You will though, i did

I'd ring if i could but i only get incoming calls

I know but it's Christmas, I'm supposed to be happy. Everyone expects me to be...

and I don't have your number! and I can't get the emails that are sent to the contact thingy - at least not instantly (they go to a friend)...

I don't think they do, i don't know you but i always feel like i've got to justify feeling shit. But talking to you, you have every right!!!!!

But they don't know... anything.

Hardly anyone knows.

Nobody still knows what i went through, still to this day. I protcted him, i didn't want people to hate him, when i knew what a good man he was. I wanted to help him and people see why i loved him, and i wasn't a fool that put up with stuff like that. I'm an intelligent women