ExP says the reason he left me is cos im fat-is this the truth?

[FattyWatty]

Ex walked out on me a few weeks ago after five years together, no kids. He left for a OW i had no idea about. After talking through why he left, he said the bottom line was that although he thought i was pretty and a nice person, he didn't want me sexually as he preferred to have sex with a slimmer woman. He thought he could get over it but he couldn't.

Now i am overweight, a size 20 but he never mentioned to me that this bothered him, when we met i was a size 16 so i haven't put on that much weight! He has always said he prefers curvy women and isn't particularly a looker himself (could lose a few pounds, bad teeth).

This has really got to me-could this really be the reason he buggered off? Or is he just trying to shift the blame?

She asked the question. The possibility is her increased size could be a factor. Size 20 is overweight, the op said she is herself, and as for denying medical fact, ie fat is unhealthy, well thats silly. People do let themselves go when settled, in this relationship both did. One escaped, the other stayed. If tables were turned she wud be a hero on here

Symfem how sad that you agree with the premise that his behaviour and choices are her responsibility and under her control.

Accordingly to you (and him) she was SUPPOSED to read his mind, and if she had dropped 4 dress sizes, he would NEVER have dropped his trousers for the exiting thrill of the new chase and the new c**t ... I am afraid that you are clueless and you have no idea what drives infidelity.

If you don't get that you cannot control another individual, if you don't get that this is magical thinking, if you don't get how this is denial and projection, you don't get it and we can't help you.

If tables were turned she would be a hero?!! Ha, I've heard it all now!

'i cheated on my partner because he went up 2 dress sizes' everyone please hail me a hero, lol.

OP, please do no listen to this tripe, he is a wanker. People who love an respect you do not cheat. You are so much better without him.

Im sorry but if your partner starts to become unattractive, through their own means, then its all one persons fault !

Its the duty of both partners to remain attractive to the other party, sexual relationships are founded on visual appeal as well as other aspects.

Ha, ha, ha!

Yes my stbxh said similar - "he couldn't cope with my cyclical weight gain & he just doesn't like really big women & he isn't like like my friend's husband who has a big women fetish (she is a size 24/26). I am the same weight I was when we met give or take 4 pounds. I am a size 14/16 & 5'8". Truth is he was having an affair with his cousin the whole time. It's an excuse not to face their own despicable behaviour. You are not to blame in any way.

The mysogyny in your posts is astounding Synfem.

"One escaped, the other stayed"

No, one escaped, the other was a wanker who went and screwed someone else.

Mysogyny because i believe there are two sides to a story. The prevailing reason the guy left is he is a twat. Life isnt that simple

How come a size 16 was ok when they met then? How come a 20 is not ok? It's only 4 inches difference! Shagging another woman is nothing to do with OP's weight. He still managed to get it up once a week with OP so he still fancied her. He also fancied having an affair & then blaming her for it.

Synfem, you either a particularly nasty man, or Katie Hopkins.

Thing is, it's bullshit that being fat is unhealthy, actually. There is no conclusive proof whatsoever that moderately fat people are in poorer condition than a skinny person who lives on diet coke, fags and crispbread and does no exercise, for instance. If you are active and eat a varied diet, you are generally ;ikely to be healthy whatever your size.

WHat is unhealthy is dieting. The entire slimming industry is an immoral con job, just like all religion.

Anyway, the reason the OP's husband left is because he is a selfish, sexist dickhead she's well shot of. Good luck OP, life will be better without him.

Katie Hopkins

Who's Katie Hopkins?

Who is Katie Hopkins?

Synfem, for the last time - you are confusing two issues. If your partner is doing/not doing something that distresses you, you have an obligation to do one thing - OPEN YOUR MOUTH. It's called COMMUNICATION. You give the other person a chance to hear you, and show you they respect/love you enough to do something about it.

Opening your mouth is NOT the same thing as opening your zipper. 2 dress sizes DOES NOT cause penises to accidentally fall into another vaginas (although they do say this 'just happens'). These two things are entirely separate.

Katie Hopkins of the Apprentice. She was recently complaining about her kids nanny being pregnant in dm. Basically she's a narcacissistic, ow/cheat, sexist man in a woman's body.

"I'm sorry but if your partner starts to become unattractive, through their own means, then it's all one persons fault!"
"some women hook a man and then go to pot!"
What a load of bollocks.
How can you have FEM in your nickname and spout this drivel?

Im sorry i didnt know fem meant male basher. I stand corrected.

There are two sides to every story. And then there is the truth. We are getting one heavily weighted story that of course illicits the usual banal gratitudes and male bashing. We all have a duty to remain attractive to our partners, man or woman.
Go to a doctor and tell him size twenty is healthy. After he or she stops laughing, listen to the warnings of heart disease, diabetes, and other overweight related conditions

Im sorry i didnt know fem meant male basher. I stand corrected.

There are two sides to every story. And then there is the truth. We are getting one heavily weighted story that of course illicits the usual banal gratitudes and male bashing. We all have a duty to remain attractive to our partners, man or woman.
Go to a doctor and tell him size twenty is healthy. After he or she stops laughing, listen to the warnings of heart disease, diabetes, and other overweight related conditions

Symfem, your FHM/Teenage boy argument falls down when you consider that the OP herself said that her ex was overweight and had dodgy teeth.
He hardly kept himself looking good for her did he?

And the OP says she is size 20. But she also has a BMI of 28, which is not massive in anyones book. Not morbidly obese, not even obese but overweight. She was size 16 when they met. She exercises and is fit. OK so size 20 isn't every man's ideal woman's size. But dodgy teeth and a paunch is also not every woman's ideal in a man. I am sure that there are not many people who are married to their fantasy ideal. But love and mutual respect should counter that. We all age, we have children, life happens. What would happen in your argument if one partner had to have a masectomy? A teste removed? Was suddenly in a wheelchair?

Fortunately for the OP she is not a shallow twat, seems she had a very lucky escape.

!

Just fat bashing instead?

I really don't think 2 dress sizes is that big a deal, relatively speaking. And a BMI of 28 is OK healthwise. It's only when it gets over 30 into the obese range that there are health implications, so...

You seem to be overlooking the fact that the bloke was dipping his wick somewhere else! Or is that acceptable if your partner is fat and ugly?