Weekends...

[Pickles77]

Does anybody think that if I book a weekend away, and get XP to come along, talk & have a great time it will work? He'll see sense? Want to be a family... Slowly try again?

Or

Am I being a crazy lady?

Im being a crazy lady again aren't I? :(

Oh honey please don't lose hope. My story - I am on my 3rd divorce. My second one my husband abused me while pregnant & then was forced by police to leave when DD 6 weeks old. I was on antidepressants & under the care of the perinatal psychiatry team for a year after she was born but guess what - she is now a beautiful 8 year old who sees her dad now & then but is my buddy through thick & thin. I did it & you can too. Ok I'm not having the best time right now but one thing I do know is that I'm a good mum & my kids love me & are all well brought up. You will be an AMAXING MUM. Please detach from twunt & ask your community midwife for help.

What skyeblue said.... except I'm not in the group. x

Thanks guys I just feel so low. Everyday goes on so long. I've have got a team of people helping me but I
Don't feel like they should be, they should just let me go. Give my baby to someone that can't have children and can give her everything.
I deleted my Facebook so I don't have to look at things. People only wanted to look at me and laugh at me.
I'm glad your happy midwife and sky, I don't think I ever will be. Im trying and failing rapidly.

Pickles, I'm jumping I'm here, but all those things you list about sharing a PG & new born with - take them out of your head now!

I'm married, my DH is squeamish as hell & never felt my bumps kick. And I definitely don't ever remember laughing about pooey nappies

Your DD will thank you one day for being a strong woman who didn't become a walk over. If you let him back now you will live with wondering and resentment until you end up splitting anyway.

There will be tough times but lesser people than you have survived xx

You deserve to be happy & you will be one day honestly. Your baby will change your life for the better. Ex twunt will be insignificant when you fall in love with him or her.

Pickles, you can do it, I'm sure of it. Maybe you need to go back to your GP, sometimes you need to try out different antidepressants before you get the right one. As someone who has attempted suicide on more than one occasion, it DOES get better.
As I said in previous threads, am only down the road from you if there's anything I can do, even if you just want to exchange text messages.
You & your daughter don't need this dickwad in your lives, I know sometimes anyone seems better than no one but it's really not true.

Hang in there, huge unmumsnetty hugs to you x

Thanks guys. Im trying I really am

we are getting by. i wouldnt say Im happy. I have my moments. Last week I cried every night, this week I havent.

Its a cliche, but it really is a rollercoaster. One step forward, two steps back. Any old cliche or song title you can think of, it all applies, lol.

But seriously, you are going to have moments where you feel so down that you feel there is no point in carrying on. You are lucky to be having this baby. you made this decision for a reason, because you wanted to be a mummy. Que sera sera, whatever will be will be (to quote another song!).

You are a fabulous person, you have done so well to get this far, against everything you ex tried to make you do or feel.

I know we are at a distance, but we are all here for you to talk to.

Thank you for all being so kind. You really are all so kind.

so what are you doing right now? Im eating a twirl, and watching Twilight.

Bit pissed off because friends all went out for a meal together earlier with all the kids and I couldnt go (lack of money being the main reason), but they have now all come back and gone to another friends house. They have texted me to say go with them, but DD is asleep and I dont want her overtired for her father tomorrow as its not fair on her.

got a day of work ahead of me tomorrow, on the computer all day, as off on holiday on Monday! should be working now too really, but cant be arsed, lol

Sorry I fell asleep, was watching Lewis aswell!
Is the twilight saga any good? Not seen any of them?
Shame you missed seeing your friends, but I hear it's going to rain a lot today so you won't feel so bored doing your work and staying in .
Ooo holiday- how nice. Have a lovely time!

Hi Pickles - hope you feel better after some sleep honey. Ask your midwife or GP to refer you to the perinatal mental health team - they usually have a counsellor or CPN attached who can support you over the next year or so.

Hi, my midwife is doing that. Im under the mental health team too but now I'm
Worried they might take her away. I don't think I should have her anyway but I don't want them to just take her.
I've been awake all night with the most awful migrane! It's so rubbish!
I feel a little better but not much, everything is so cloudy. I think
I'm over thinking everything.,,, I think when she's here it might be easier, she's here and it's my way and maybe then my anger will come out (I hope)

Thank you for checking I'm okay midwife, means a lot

I found that once the pregnancy hormones had gone I felt much stronger & more about to cope as if I had got "me" back. They won't take your baby away. You do deserve the baby. Just keep talking .....

Also read chocoraisin's threads & blog. She is in the same situation as you & had her baby last week. She's an inspiration.

Could you link me please

Can you do it skye? I can't post links on my iPhone!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1397306-how-could-he

Thank
You x

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1444600-nothing-can-drag-you-down-when-youre-not-holding-on

bearhuntsandnewbeginnings.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1

I've done it!!

I might have to check out the blog - I love reading blogs, and it is always so inspiring to hear how other people overcome adversity, and to see how our resilience in the face of difficulty moulds us into the strong capable people we are.

Though I will hold my hand up and say I seldom feel strong or capable. I have a very short fuse and there are days when the slightest thing can annoy me. Then I spend the day guilt-tripping about being annoyed with DD, then I smother her with affection and she gets cross, rejects me and we're back to square one. Although I do have a DH, since college finished he has been working almost every day, so there isn't often anyone around for me to talk to etc., hence the reason I am on here during the day sometimes, I need a breather.

I am hoping that once the family home is sold, and the memorial thing is out of the way I will feel less stressed, but at the moment I am practicing avoidance. Not good. I shall have to really get a grip.

The thread from chocoraisin is really great, gives me something to aim for.
House sales really are stressful- I avoided my folks for three months!!!