nothing can drag you down when you're not holding on...

[chocoraisin]

Hello :)

I've decided that blog or no blog, I can't imagine not having all of you fabulous people to turn to in the next couple of months while I count down to baby arriving. So I've jumped ship from the old thread and decided to set up camp here.

would anyone like a ?

I have posted a couple of t

Hey girls!! [bugrin]

Oops premature posting :) I was saying I have posted a couple of times and LOVE your blog. I think you are being very strong in the wake of every married person's worst nightmare. You are an inspiration. Have an easter biccy [bubiscuit] to go with your

You have been through so much, and yet remain so focused for your sons, it's amazing! Having read the other adultery thread I can't believe men can so readily give up everything and behave so appallingly to their families. Your blog is an inspiring read, I really hope that life improves for you soon, new baby cuddles are certainly something to keep going for!

Marking place
Just to repeat - I'm so glad that your SILs are a support for you, along with MIL (or at least, not listening to his BS).

Marking place too [bugrin]

[bugrin] thanks everyone! Really glad to see you all, and thanks to everyone who's dropped by the blog. It's giving me something 'just for me' to focus on.

Tomorrow is my first full day (well, 9.30-4.30) without DS as he's having a full day with H. I've planned to go shopping with my mum to take my mind off missing him, but I'm starting to feel a bit anxious about it. Silly I know but I just feel really protective right now. Doesn't help that I feel rather acutely aware of what a total plonker H is today.

Does keeping busy really help? I pretty much slept this afternoon when it all got too depressing and DS was still out. Did me a world of good to catch up but I don't think sleeping through every visit is a viable gameplan lol [buhmm] although I could probably try!

Hi choco like the new thread,
I have had to name change, due to ex finding my thread and throwing it all back in my face.
Anyone who wants to know my previous name feel free to PM me!
I, like you find the support on here incredible, and for what it is worth, I have found keepng busy really helps.. in fact my house has never been so clean! But we are all different and just do whatever helps you through.

I have no idea if keeping busy will help you, I suggest you do what works! It will probably change and change again.
I'm someone who wants a plan for everything, and to be in control of things that happen to me. The last few days before DS was born (late!) I went nearly bonkers because I couldn't make it happen, couldn't even say when it would... absolutely the worst thing for someone like me! Learning to go with the flow is pretty much impossible for me, but I can learn to expect the situation to change, and thereby lessen the amount I am thrown/rage at each random change.

Erm. By which I mean to say, erm, if keeping busy works, do it! if sleeping works (lovely sleeeep!) definitely do that. Ditto having social plans, or having plans to get something done like sorting out the nursery or going through DS's old clothes and organizing them by size or some other nice nesting things :)

It gets easier. but No sleeping if you need to and keeping busy is not wrong. It helps make it easier to cope with dc on contact visits and being away from you when it is new. As it becomes more regular it does become easier to deal with. But it was pointed out that I am always super crazy busy when my ds is with his dad and when I have ds for a wkend we have a calm quiet lazy one. Do what suits you. Company can really help. But what is best for you is individual, do what feels right in the moment. Good luck, and try to enjoy the shopping.

Ah Choco - sleep sounds perfect to me. It's healing, restoring & you need it right now. Afternoon naps prescribed!!!

Jumping on to your new thread. I haven't been in this situation but what about a dvd on the sofa with a friend or your Mum to help the hours pass?
(and have a rest too).

Hello Choco - not seen you before but just had a nosey at your blog and I love the way you write. Wish you all the best with your Bear Hunt.

hello - I went for busy in the end. Spent the day shopping with my mum, which was actually really nice, I got bits for DS2 (teeny clothes for my froggy little newborn ) and a jacket for DS1, some jeans that fit me - no more hand-me-down maternity togs for me!! And, finally, a bra that fits!! What a difference a bra makes... I made sure I really enjoyed the time to myself. I don't think I'll be able to walk about that much in a month or two so it was a good opportunity to get some me time in.

H texted me all through the day letting me know how he was sleeping/eating etc, which I was surprised about but it was really nice to know so I didn't say anything negative back. It's prob because DS has been poorly and I don't think that he's going to last off his brown inhaler if he doesn't clear this cough in the next 10 days. It's turning into a suspiciously nocturnal problem, and very phlegmy (asthma mums you'll know what I mean!).

I did miss him, but I was ok. I think DS missed me a bit too, because he was super cuddly when he got home. I'm glad I let him go though, I think it was really good for them both to spend longer together. It's the first time H has put him down for a nap in 4 months or more, so its about bloody time. Baby steps, I've made it through the day at least.

Well done, Choco - baby steps are what get you there!
So glad you had time to get a few bits for DS2 - it must feel good to have a moment to savour pleasant anticipation in the middle of all this, I'm sure :)

Hey Choco! The blog is great! Keep up the good work! [bugrin]

what an amazing blog!!!!!!!! thought bogs were shit before I saw how you putting the medium to use here!!! xx

blogs :-) :-)

A bra always helps cheer a girl up! Especially when purchased without a toddler's "help"!!! I hope you have a good day with your wonderful family today. You are doing so well, you're an inspiration to so many people on mumsnet & your blog! [bugrin]

happy Easter everyone!

I hope you all get spoiled rotten/stuffed with nice food/heaps of cuddles from your families today.

DS slept in for positively HOURS and got me up at 7.20am, which was gift enough [bugrin]

fiona and scarlet [bublush] aww thanks!! I plan to post once a week. As usual taking my inspiration from you guys and the spectacular advice I get on here...

shh don't tell anyone but I've booked a viewing on a house for sale that I completely cannot afford this week, just to give me something to aim for! It's gorgeous. Does anyone believe in Cosmic Ordering lol?? Fancy putting in an order for me??

Happy Easter! Unfortunately I am languishing in hospital with a wound abscess so no Easter Egg hunts for me in RL but thank god for smartphones so I can hunt virtually here! Cosmic ordering sounds good to me & anything that shows you a potential good future such as house viewing is a good thing in my mind!

Chocoraisin- what a brilliant idea re: booking a viewing. I sometimes create vision boards of my future dreams (shhhhhhhhhhhh!) but doing a viewing that's going one step further in the visualisation-emebdding the dream into the unconscious- actualising process! Like it.

May I lurk?

OMG midwife you poor thing! sending healing hugs your way. I hope you feel heaps better very soon, will you be there for long?

Belle - welcome I consider that a delurking statement. Join right in!

PeelingBells I am going out to buy myself a special vision book on Tuesday, to put down all the things I want to achieve for my boys and me this year and afterwards. I felt cheesy for all of ten minutes, then thought bugger it. Who knows but me? (Oh, and the vast internet community I've outed myself to now!)

I don't know about the literal law of attraction, but I know that my DSis is a devout Christian and no matter what happens in her life she actively seeks out things to see as blessings, and considers herself to be looked after personally by God. I can't quite get on board with the personal relationship with God thing, but I do totally see and respect that her outlook gives her permission to be much happier than many, many others are with their lives.

I'm going to focus on positive thinking anyway. Who knows, it might help me see opportunity where others see disaster. (Nicked that off someone else's adultery thread... I think it's a golden bit of MN advice: This is opportunity disguised as disaster!)

Thanks Chocs - home tomorrow!! Yes people I know with a spiritual (not necessarily religious) focus are much happier. The key to happiness apparently (they (?who) did a huge study) is gratefulness. It doesn't matter what people's circumstances were, it was how grateful they felt for what they did have that made them happy. You have repeatedly expressed gratefulness for your DS & family & the little pleasures in life despite -wanker- exh's behaviour. I just know you're going to have a great future