Weekends...

[Pickles77]

Does anybody think that if I book a weekend away, and get XP to come along, talk & have a great time it will work? He'll see sense? Want to be a family... Slowly try again?

Or

Am I being a crazy lady?

Im being a crazy lady again aren't I? :(

It depends on why he is your XP rather than your DP I suppose? How long have you been apart and why?

We've been apart since I found out I was 21 weeks pregnant now 28.
He doesn't want baby... I had to leave job, and move back home to my parents on early maternity....
And he really doesn't want baby....

Pickles you're on a hiding to nothing with this man, truly. He is horrible.

Ahhh - just seen your name. From what I have read before - I think the effort would need to come from him to be honest. He has acted like a prat. A selfish and immature prat. A weekend away will not change his prat-like tendancies! Hugs x

Forget it Pickles77. Why sacrifice what shred of self-respect you have left begging this cruel and uncaring man to come back??? The whole point is that he doesn't want to be 'a family' at all. A decent man, faced with a pregnant girlfriend would wrap her in his arms and protect her. Only a total shit would show a clean pair of heels.

Forget it.

Thanks guys... I know I'm mental I shouldn't love him but I do. Wish baby would hurry up now x

Book the weekend away and take yourself somewhere nice instead. Pack books and bath salts, chat to other people, flirt with a few blokes, visit friends, take long walks in the fresh air and have a good hard think about what you want out of life as as an independent woman & soon-to-be mother. Otherwise, find ways to keep yourself occupied so that you don't keep pining after the total shit who has done nothing up to now except try to ruin your life. Don't let him win.

It will take longer than 7 weeks to get over him. Long term, you will be so much happier without him. It is his loss - he is the one missing out. You are young enough to rebuild your life and find happiness with somebody who deserves you in time.

I feel he's winning though, because he can't see how I feel

Hey Pickles,

Am back after a week away. Sorry to hear you are stressing over funt/twunt who has been so horrible to you. I don't think he will be doing you any favours - as Cogito says, book the weekend and take yourself off, pamper yourself and enjoy the 'me time' because once Poppy comes along, there won't be any!
PM me if you want, I'll be on and offline all day. xx

You mean he isn't suffering the way you are. That's the problem with being the dumpee rather than the dumper. The situation is not your choice, it's theirs. They don't suffer but the other person does. Whatever you do from now on, you cannot make him feel guilty or unhappy any more than you can make him love you or your baby. All you can do is focus on yourself.

I know what you say makes sense, it always has. It's just time isn't it?
I don't know how else to show him how much he means to me. Im doubting even wanting the baby now which I know isn't right.... Because I did. I don't know if it's because time is ticking on and I'm
Getting scared. I'm trying everything I can to move on

Cogito's first post says it all really. Take care of yourself , you have a lovely life to look forward to with your new baby. The heartache will ease away.

He voted with his feet. He meant/means a lot to you but it isn't reciprocated. That's the eternal tragedy of break-ups and there's nothing you can do about it. FWIW a lot of mums-to-be have moments during pregnancy when the enormity of what's about to happen hits them. Doesn't have to be a relationship break-up for someone to get the jitters. Talk to your friends and family. They'll know how it feels.

I wish things were so different

I think you're in big danger of wallowing in self-pity again and need to get up, get out and go do something constructive..... Call a friend, take a walk, find something fun to do.

Hi pickles I seen your other thread but I never posted ok it by the time I had got to it you had hundreds !

When I was 18 I found out I was pregnant to my bf. I told him then literally never saw him again. I now have a gorgeous 7 year old daughter, a DH and another on the way. My DH brings my daughter up like she is his own, she loves him like a father and he a daughter. you will find someone who will love you and your dc, and will treat you both how you deserve to be treated. And when your lo comes along you will probably find you will hate xp for abandoning them. That's enough to get over anyone. Hth

The best thing you can do us to prove him wrong. He told you that you have ruined your life so you have the baby and you make a success of your life and bring your baby up well and prove to him that he is the useless one not you.

dont ask him to go away with you as he is bound to say no and then you will feel even worse, or if he did go, I don't think it would end well. He has shown no sign of wanting to work things out with you, sadly.

I went on a date with my STBXH against all advice on here, we had a great day out but he ended it for good x few days later by writing me a really nasty letter so I just gave myself more pain.

Thank you guys, i know your all right and I really appreciate you listening to warbling. I
am baking a cake FOR ME mwhahaaaaaa

What if I can't prove them wrong? And can't do it?

You can do it. You will do it! :)

I hope so, I really do....maybe I'm scared and that's normal.
How are you notgeoff x

Can't do it? Don't be daft.

But I might not be able to, she
Might get sick, she might hate me, I
Might resent her, i won't know what to do with her....

You can do it, you will be a great mum. I used to be terrified of babies until I had my DD and I was 36 when I had her. A lot of it comes naturally, and common sense. and it's about spending time with them, not material things. Fun in the park, walks on the beach, picnics, toys and books from charity shops.

All you need to do is love your baby and she will love you. Nothing else matters.