Turning Tavern IV - Down Bi the riverside, near the well of loneliness...

[NotForProfit]

Hi all,

thought i'd be proactive and start a new thread for the wenches of the turning tavern as the old thread's pretty much full...

for anyone new to this, it's a thread for women suddenly finding themselves attracted to another woman, so grab a glass of something intoxicating, pull up a chair by the fireside and we'll try to help one another deal with the elation, confusion and heartache of rediscovering your sexuality.

Likea in a way , at least she wants to be friends with you still. I know its not much consolation though.

My wiq may well go down the 'what email?' line. When you say she may be consulting with her dp, i can imagine that would only be in order to bitch about what a scary, predatory lesbian i am! Im away on business soon with some colleagues & im half wondering if she'll get one of them to do her dirty work!

I hope she wouldn't stoop to asking a colleague to deal with personal business - honestly. is she a little girl or a mature responsible woman?
I don't think my wiq wants a clse friendship - that would definitely be a big consolation (honestly, I could be hsppy with that, even though not as happy of course). Or it make her a long tiome to become closer friends, as i said she has a very full life with existing friends her age. Still think age was by far the biggest barrier for her as none of her friends aer younger, and also once some guy in his 30s chatted her up and she said to me 'no way, he's hakf my age' (I'm not half her age but still 20yrs diff-ce!). I do hope we stay at lesdt friendly and she doesn't cut down on contact altogether based on what she may think now, but really it would be OTT, we don't meet more than once in two weeks now anyway.

But it will take her a long time

(if at all)

Hi ladies:) Feel really sad about this but have decided over the last few days to leave the thread:( Im trying to move on from my WIQ situation and as much as i love posting on this thread,it also serves as quite a painful reminder for me. Will miss chatting to you guys so much and you have all been fantastic at a time when this thread was all i had in terms of talking about my situation and how painful i was finding it. Thank you so much
If any of you are having a really tough time and want someone to chat to or to get things of your chest then please feel free to PM me as i will still be around and i know how much it helped me having someone to speak to, I just wont be on thread.
NOTFOR,hopefully your WIQ will show some manners soon and buck her ideas up and talk to you. Shes's behaving very cowardly. Be proud of yourself for showing more nerve and character than what she seem's capable of.x
HAPPYTITCHICK, hope your w/e happens and things run smoothly for you and others involved in your situation.Good luck.x
LIKEA,have a nice week away,hope things weren't to awkward after seeing your WIQ:)
Any one else who pops up on thread sometimes, take care!!
Thanks again guys

Bit of a lurker on here, post else where on MN and can't even be bothered to NC. Thought I'd dip my toes in the water here and see if it helps me work things out.

All relationships have been with men and I'm currently involved with one and as a result post on the emotional abuse thread....but that doesn't have any bearing on my joining of this thread. I've always known I've been attracted to girls but never acted on it, never had the opportunity. Feel quite confused really. I enjoy sex with men, enjoy relationships with men. In fact, I have amazing sex with my not so 'D'P. But I mostly fantasise about women and Notice more women than men if im honest when im out. I've gone from being very uncomfortable about that to more accepting of it within myself. I don't have a WIQ like many of you do, I think I'd be VERY fussy to be honest - i am attracted to very feminine types and I'd be a shit lesbian so not sure whether I could act on it - lets just say there's some parts of womens bodies that really turn me on, but the crucial bit is really not my cup of tea. But I also think that if I don't experience it, I will explode.

Anyway I'm not sure why I'm posting but hopefully I'm welcome even though I'm in a relationship and all complicated.

hi Anastasia, of course you are welcome! the thread has gone extremely quiet, and I was just going to post to ask how are things going with some regulars!
myself and the last poster outmyemind, we were very active before, but both had a knock back and we are healing our wounds now, so haven't got much to say, but I wonder how NotFor and HappyTit are doing!? I hope they come back as they actually have experience and could advise you more. I only had one wiq, before that didn't think I was bi even , though noticed women at times but like you, was never sure about 'the crucial bit'. With wiq I got emotional so it was out of the blue and very different but she isn't interested/not bi most likely, so it didn't go anywhere.
If you are thinking of leaving your P, then why not experiment by going on a date with some wine involved, you don't have to go further than a kiss! you will know then whether you want more. If you have a gay friend of any gender, ask them to take you to a gay bar that's mixed (i.e. also straight people there) and see if you could flirt with someone and that way arrange a date. Or you can try internet dating.

Hello everybody. It has been very quiet in the tavern so here's a little bump. Sad to see Outmy go. Likea - hope you have been ok. Have you seen your WIQ recently? Anastasia - as the others know, I had no experience or interest in women until I met my WIQ and tbh the idea of the crucial bit was not an area I was keen to visit! That's until I met my WIQ. If you have a connection or chemistry with someone - male or female - their "bits" aren't an issue. How I see it is if you didn't fancy a guy - you wouldn't want to go anywhere near his bits would you? It may take meeting an amazing woman who blows any concerns out of the water to make you not worry about such things.

Loveis, that is such a spot-on explanation for women who are not gay as such (either bi or somewhere on the spectrum). I'm not interested in women generally as much as I don't fancy most men, it's just for me there are more men i can fancy than women, or possibly even this one woman who I admire. I did see her about two weeks ago and will be meeting her again, as I say I don't want to lose all contact as despite all I like her strongly as a person. to me platonic love without 'taking' is also a valuable thing. This attitude to her doesn't seem to stop me noticing men again, so I'm not stuck I hope - see if I can actually start dating a man happily or not. It is a process though, to switch back so to speak.

Thank you for the replies. I got cold feet about posting on here but am quite glad I did. Thank you for your replies. You raise some good ideas. especially about genitals. You're right. The only cocks I've ever had any affection for have been attached to a man I really liked.

I'd like to think out loud here as wonder if anyone feels the same....

I have lots of lesbian friends though I suppose - please don't flame me - but I've yet to meet anyone that I feel is like me. I'm not explaining myself very well, but I have socialised on the scene for a bit with my friends and I guess it's the stereotypical scene or my perceptions of this maybe that I find a barrier. I essentially want to be meeting straight-lesbians if you get my drift. I don't think in stereotypes AT ALL but I guess I've yet to meet any really feminine girls when I've been to particular bars. I want to go to bars I like drinking in usually with girls that have long hair and pretty shoes. hmmm....

You'll probably find there are a lot more borderline 'straight' women out there than you think. You just need to fine-tune your gaydar. Perhaps women who have slept with other women or are bi-curious give off a different vibe to completely straight women, I don't know. There's maybe a knowingness. If the stats are true, 70% of straight women have fantasies about other women. I was not in the 70% and look where that got me. You should go to Pride - you will all sorts there.

*you will find

Hi Anastasia, welcome to the thread. I'm not sure about ladybits myself. I mean, my own are ok, but not 100% sure about going down on another woman. I think with my wiq, i would've probably done anything she'd asked me to. but she never replied to my confessional email (s) and seeing her now is heartbreaking as we work together quite regularly and there's a social side to it, which i'm expected to be a part of, although I don't feel like it any more..

Likea - i've been licking my wounds too. Hope you're ok. Really sad Outmy has left the thread, but if this is her way of getting over it all, i totally understand.

I feel so, so awkward in meetings now. I find her so unbelievably attractive i can barely look at her, and its hard feeling that everyone knows. I wasn't massively subtle beforehand, and now i just feel so stupid for thinking anything could happen between us. She obviously sees something I can't quite fathom in this bloke of hers. He literally has something I don't, I suppose!

Nothing's happened with my other (cute) woman, perhaps because i'm walking around looking utterly despondent over wiq, and that must be quite off-putting. She seems very shy, suddenly, looking down and smiling as she walks past me rather than holding my gaze like she used to. Oh well... I don't think I'm patient enough to hold out for a woman, they're so hard to fathom. I'll just stick with dh. lucky him

hi Notfor, good to see you back on here! that's thereason htat most people avoid affairs at work - if it doesn't work out it's a nightmare having to see the person regularly!
I'm fine as I can see wiq when i like and I'm giving myself some 'off' time now, while I changing my mentality towards her. It wasn't a shock, I always knew it may not work. The things is I'm less on the spectrum than you are it seems, so it's easier to let go of seeing her in sexual light, though I haven't stopped doing completely yet. I can still love her as a person, but in the same time will try to distance emotionally as she is still friendly but unforthcoming towards even closer friendship.
It's a real shame that you aer so desopndent that even CW noticed! ask her out for a coffee! if you ae mistaken (again) it's no big deal as you aer not 'in love' withher, you have nothing to lose at all, but I think she is def attracted to you just can see that you are not enthusiastic about her - give her a chance!
Don't feel bad if everyone knows, which I think it's an exxageration, maybe a few people know but so what, hardly a crime, nothing 'stupid'about it. Be above it. Also maybe freshen it up with your DH maybe just habe a weekend away (not necessarily to be sexual but just to focus on what you have more?)
Oh, and what she can see in her P is the fact that he will be the father to her dc above all! nothing personal against you. It's bad that she hasn't responded, but I knew she was an 'ostrich with its head in the sand' and it's vey much in character.

*stopped doing it

exaggeration

Back again to see who's around & how you're getting on. But where is everyone? I'll look else where on MN.
Meanwhile, alls well in my world.

I called time on my physical relationship with GF for about 6 weeeks as her DH was making threats. We are back on again as the attraction and connection with her can not be ignored and he appears to have seen the light! Everybody is handling our unusual situation and our menfolk benefitting from happy wives. Long may it last!

Hello - just a little bump. Glad things are working out for you Happy. Wonder how Likea and Notfor are doing.

Happytit! Loveis! [hugs all round] So good to see you both again!

Happytit, I'm so glad everything's going well for you & your lovely lady. and that your dhs are finally cool with it, after a few hiccups. That must be a relief to everyone concerned.

Loveis- how's your situation now? Hope things are going well.

In terms of my stuff... well the only which has really changed is that she's told people she's pregnant. So I don't have to wonder any more. Things with her seem to ebb & flow... I've been quite hung up on the whole thing, especially as she stood me up a few weeks back, when she'd invited me out. Actually though, these last few days I'm actually starting to feel as though I might be able to free myself from this whole situation; to stand back and see things in perspective a bit more. I think I might finally be reaching the point of acceptance, and perhaps once I've done that, all her toying with me won't bother me anymore.

Hello Notfor - good to see you at the bar and glad to hear you are getting some distance and a clearer perspective on your situation. Have you spotted CW out and about? Things are ok with me although taking time to sort out as well as adjust to. I wonder if Likea has had any contact with her WIQ.Hopefully she will spot the thread again and come back and tell us her news.

Is this thread still active? I've searched and I think 'relationships' is the correct forum to get support (but there's also 'gay parents' which is also kind of relevant). Basically I'm married with children and I think I'm probably gay. There is no-one else, even vaguely.

Any TTers around for a chat?

Bump.
Is this thread still active ?
I'm married to a guy, i have children, and i'm bi. Recently had a 4 months fling with a lovely lady (which DH knew about and was ok about) but we ended it back in november and i still miss her.

Hi anglo & darlingbudd, welcome to the thread.

Hasn't been active in a while, but no reason not to resurrect it. I think a lot of us had reached a sort of plateau with our personal situations that's all.

Good to see some new faces anyway...

Hello everyone - welcome dnglo and darlingbudd. I haven't been on the thread or MN for that matter for a while but I'm giving the thread a bump. Here to support anyone who needs it. Not sure you know my background but I was married with children then fell in love with a woman.

Hi ladies

So I was having a little wander down memory lane and came across this thread and thought it would be interesting to reactivate it. It really made me smile, as I was on it and since then, my life has changed so much. Was so strange to read my old posts. Actually felt quite embarrassed because I sounded so different.

Would be great to hear from all your original Turning Tavern ladies, just to see what's new with you Also, it would be great to hear from any new Turning Tavern ladies........

Oh and I'm under a different name now

Be great to hear from you all! x