The thread in which we all pray Johnny depp has signed up to POF - DATING THREAD 17!

[watchoutforthatsnail]

Here we go again....

xpost.

I don't get that... and it's hard to know whether he's now (for whatever odd reason) not in to you, or if he hopes you'll get in touch.

What a minefield!

Maybe his wife saw the texts?

Not cynical at all.

Also, I assume you texted him back?

Ha, no trying my best to find a single man - the only cure for the last one is the next one etc...

Sorry Lueji thought you were talking to me, oops

I texted him back in similar terms.

He's definitely single - not married, no girlfriend/partner lurking.

When I hadn't heard from him by today, I sent him a text asking about something we'd mentioned previously - bit better than a bland how are you etc. And no reply.

I just don't get it. If I'd not heard from him at all I'd be like ok, whatever his loss. But to hear - and several times - then 48 hrs later it all changes, its just too bloody weird.

What's worst is this isnt the first time, this is what happens to me every time! :(

Don't know what to say or suggest sponge I guess you just have to let it go and move on to the next.

Here's something from POF to cheer you up:

"I love my pu$$y, hope you're not allergic to cats London, England
I like my women how I like my chicken wings...HOT, fiery & finger lickin' good.Just kidding, sorry, couldn't resist...(clear throat, breathe & relax). Hello I'm a genuine guy,"

I do move on of course. To the next, and the same thing happens. Again and again. Whatever I do, or don't do, the result is always the same.

I currently have 10 new messages in my inbox from seemingly nice, polite men (they're whats left once the weirdos & pervs have been filtered). I'm trying to muster up the desire to reply to any of them because however well we get on. whatever they say, I know deep down if a date ensues I'll see them once only. Makes it all seem a bit pointless.

Arrange several dates close together so that if the first date doesn't lead to something more you have a back up something else to look forward to.

It will happen, you wouldn't want to end up with someone so fickle anyway.

I suspect that what Henrietta said a few replies back may be apposite...namely that alot of guys are really after sex without the hassle of a relationship.

if it's clear you are looking for some 'romancing' first (after which you may well think...nah dont fancy him much, not gonna shag him) he may decide that the cost (his time & effort) arent worth the (possibly non existent) benefits

I don't know, Sponge.

Maybe ask a few of these men for an honest opinion?

Which reminds me. I haven't gone back to Mr Tongue since his message yesterday.

What do you think of a message along the lines of:
I enjoyed your company on our dates and the conversation and think you are a really nice man, but I am not very comfortable of how things become sexually charged on your side so quickly without some form of emotional intimacy. I don't think it's fair to ask you to change for me and we both deserve a partner who we fit easily with.

i think you're wasting too many words on him...worra bout 'sorry I'm just not into you' ?

seriously I would just tell him sorry it's not working for you or you dont feel right about taking things any further.

If you write him a complex explanation you give him lots of fuel in the form of points to come back and challenge you over

Henrietta, I can arrange as many dates as I like (well I cant, because even if I really tried, best case 2 or 3 of these men might end up as dates) but 2 or 3 or however many they wont lead to anything more. They never do. Why would that change?

Mercury, I get what you're saying. I think that is true of some men. But not in my case, because there was sex. Which he made it v clear he wanted to repeat asap. Until sometime between Sunday night and now when it changed.

Lueji, I'm not sure who you mean I ask for an opinion? The ones Ive dated wont reply. The ones I have yet to date, well they'll say what they think they should. I don't think I'm likely to get an honest opinion from any of them.

Sponge have you tried acting all indifferent after sex?

I dont mean roll over and go to sleep :o
I mean, dont contact him afterwards

mercury, he said he wanted to see me again (I agreed, he said it first though). And the next day he contacted me, the 6 texts I mentioned earlier, all how much he wanted to see me again...

*sponge it will change when you meet the right person, all the people you have been on dates with havent been right for you, and sometimes you are lucky enough to strike gold. I am going into euston tomorrow :) and happy to be!! Cannot wait. eeeekkkkkk. LOL.

Sorry, I mean he contacted me first, I replied of course. But he was the first to text.

Mercury,

Thanks, I like your second suggestion. :-)

Sponge, in your situation (going on what you've said about it) I think I'd assume that he still does want to get together again and I'll leave it to him to get back in touch when he's free.

I agree it is maddening and I tend to get a bit anxious after first time sex..if it was any good and I want to do it again.

A whole lot of feeling anxious for few hours of pleasure...I wish I could handle it all better.

I'm starting to look forward to being elderly, then I wont make an arse of myself over sex..because hopefully I wont be interested.

Sorry thats not very positive.
I get it wrong most of the time

I don't know Sponge. It's plain weird how they can get totally wrapped up then turn off the tap in an instant. It's happened to me loads of times.
The guy I was talking to via text via pof asked when we were meeting for a drink. I said Wednesday? Great he said. That was Friday. I've heard nothing since. I'm not texting him.
2 have said they were disappointed I had changed from IE to dating on pof. I wrote back and said yeah I bet you were.
I can only conclude the vansishers have moved on to someone else.

Luej, you mean the ' I dont feel right about it' get out?

I like that one, he's bound to think
'whoaa womens intuition I'm no match for that I better just back off'
:o

Honestly, 6 texts just basically saying he wants to see you again would put me off a bit.

Are you sure you want to be with this bloke again? :o

Mercury, you'd think that would be true wouldn't you? But much as I hope it is, that he will be in touch, I pretty much know he wont be. The fact he didn't reply to my text I sent earlier today - yet was text text text previously - says it all. I would be astonished if I hear from him again.

Just like I knew that guy I was meant to have a date with tomorrow wouldn't contact me again (never heard anything more from him).

Yes, that's the one, Mercury.

Now I only have to find the guts to send it.
Darn.

Maybe I should go back to my original plan of setting a wedding date.

man up and tell him Luej, before he has chance to get near you with the tongue again :o