Now it's my turn girls

[Midwife99]

DH is leaving. He read out a statement in couples counselling telling me he is leaving me & DCs with all the details of the financial & practical arrangements as a done deal kind of situation. He has blamed me for it all. I didn't see it coming although there have been problems. I'm totally in shock. I still love him
but what can I do? I know that life goes on but still - totally devastated. No so wise now eh midwife?

may I thoroughly recommend toffee crisp chocolate bars for a pick me up?

It's shit, I know. I've managed to gain less than half what I did in my last pregnancy, largely due to the heartbreak diet still working when knocked up. Seriously, though - I completely empathise midwife (and skye!) if it helps remember the best revenge is living well. I interpret that as looking gorgeous, enjoying myself and being basically fabulous. Not easy to do right now, but the odd mani-pedi, a new pair of jeans, and regular visits to the local cake shop seem to help enormously.

xx

Know what you mean about the heartbreak diet! Have lost half a stone in a week and a half through feeling sick to my stomach every time I think about my future without STBXH. Now I'm feeling calmer and he is being nicer so I don't feel ill whenever he's in the room, I've started eating normally - damn!

Midwife - thinking of you. You are NOT a failure. He is. And yes eat chocolate to keep strength up and treat yourself x

We haven't ever spoken here, but I have seen your posts Midwife. You have been remarkably strong and will get through this.

I have been divorced twice, the second in particular was an arsehole from the same mould as your twunts, with dv and ea thrown in for good measure.

The next stage is a rollercoaster that lurches from relief to fear and then despair. But as with all rides, it come to an end, you get off and you are on your feet again.

Best wishes for a happy future. you will be brilliant!

Thanks girls

Just "bumped into him" as he was cocklodging tying things up in his office in the garage. When I tried to speak to him he said "this is just more of your controlling behaviour, I'm trying to work & I have a meeting soon. I've already explained things to you quite clearly & if you want some more sessions with the counsellor to help you understand what's wrong with you & why I can't live with you that's fine". Charming.

Oh FFS.

You are SO WELL RID of this WANKER!

What. A. Twat.

Midwife, this is the best thing that has ever happened to you I guarantee it (well apart from your DCs of course).

This idiot has literally just handed you your life back - please grasp it with both hands, wave him on his way and thank god for a lucky escape. You are worth so much more than this skid-mark could ever give you.

xxx

midwife, this man is a complete prick

and you are wonderful

"to help you understand what's wrong with you & why I can't live with you"

Sorry, but .... HAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAH!!

It must be a terrible burden to be inhumanly perfect. Poor love. No wonder it he can't relate to us people, with our annoying feelings and lives and stuff.

WTAF???!!! You couldn't make it up - but they can.

Any chance of getting him up on the roof to fix the leak and remove the ladder after his tres important meeting?

help you understand what's wrong with you

Let me save you some time, midwife. What's wrong with you is HIM.

Wanker.

What a cruel and nasty thing to say. Says far more about him than you. Added to the fact he's just left you with 4 dcs.

Stay strong Midwife. You deserve heaps better than this.

Jeez. What a pompous prick.

Next time just blow a raspberry.

Lol tribpot - exactly! Absobloodylutely!

It's going to get better, midwife - it really is. Hang on in there.

Wanker. Just like my H ! Everything is wrong with me and nothing wrong with him apparently. I wish the ground would just open up and swallow these twats to save us further pain.

We are so much better off without them.

Poor DD4 is so confused. He's here now cos I'm on call (no choice until I get sthg else sorted) & she's really stroppy & difficult. Thank god it's only 3 nights a month. Once his luxury rental is ready he can pick DDs up from nursery/after school & take them to home & take them back in the morning. I won't even have to see him. Still itching to spill the beans on the kissing cousins but no midwife - karma will win in the end. How can I make that happen?

Just sit back, what goes around comes around. My H thInks he is a thoroughly decent bloke who just couldn't live with me anymore. From everybody else the comment is " nobody normal walks out of a marriage without discussing it!" he will get his one day....

What goes around comes around......

Poor dd though. It must be confusing. I know my dd was when he was having tea and putting her to bed etc. that's why it had to stop. I appreciate you have to do it but like you say, hopefully not for long.

Yes just a month & then he's not setting foot in this house again. Ever.

Good for you. I have done the same. I think it's sad when I see my neighbours, they split in Nov , after 20 years, what they both wanted, both have new partners now. I was round there the other night and he wax fixing her tumble dryer and having a cup of tea. Can't see us ever being like that :-(

For a start this is my house which I owned before I met him so he has no right to be here anyway.

Well at least you are secure in your home midwife, that counts for a lot. Your DDs will understand it all better once he is settled in his own place and you will always represent consistency and stability to all your DCs.

Yes but have to pay exh2 back 25% which h3 was going to help with so not secure anymore!!

What an idiot. I would be dancing with joy every time I bumped into him, because his exit is definitely worth celebrating.

After I decided my marriage was over, but long before I was able to move out, my ex told me that he wanted us to go and see a counsellor so that I could explain to a third party exactly why I had decided our marriage was over . I think that the fact he said that is your answer, really.

Massive example of selfish twuntish behaviour tonight. He's here cos I'm on call. DD4 aged 2 is very emotional & tricky since this all kicked off because she senses my distress although I've been as careful as I can to be brave. He insisted he wanted to bath & bed her to ease guilt to still be a hands on Dad. 2 hours later DD screaming, refusing to settle in bed, repeatedly opening door. Twunt comes down & says, do you want me to put something in the oven for you as well, only I'm starving & I can't go to get myself some fish & chips because DD won't settle. I've been at it for 2 hours now!