Now it's my turn girls

[Midwife99]

DH is leaving. He read out a statement in couples counselling telling me he is leaving me & DCs with all the details of the financial & practical arrangements as a done deal kind of situation. He has blamed me for it all. I didn't see it coming although there have been problems. I'm totally in shock. I still love him
but what can I do? I know that life goes on but still - totally devastated. No so wise now eh midwife?

Okay does your son have any friends from school who are: sensible/reliable and home from Uni? Could any of them provide some child care for cash just to keep you going over the summer?

Just come from 90 minute meeting with my solicitor - senior partner in the most highly respected firm in the county. It's not really going to be quite as simple as twunt thinks to slither off unscathed financially or practically!

Good news!

Oh sounds like you have a good one!

Good for you. xxx

Glad to hear it.

Oh & his cousin is going to be served as co respondent.

Go Midwife!

Twunt

OMG! That's great?! I wish I had proof of an actual affair as I would have definitely gone for adultery if I had actual proof of that, all I had evidence of was flirting :(

Good for you. I think your twunt will be slightly annoyed

Woo hoo! Go Midwife and give me the address of your solicitor when you're done with him!

She's a woman - go figure!

I have known about affair for over 6 months so not filing for adultery. Unreasonable behaviour but petitioning her as a corespondent (explain that one to your husband bitch)!

Sorry for being so sexist - oops! Great stuff MW.

:) Chuffed for you, midwife, that your Sol is as shit-hot as you deserve. Keep at it! :)

Oh yeah I forgot about the six month thing. My "OW" was mentioned by first name but not co petitioned. Wish I had been able to :(

Still weeping though. Just reading out the grounds today was awful. He's treated me appallingly.

Sorry, it's so hard isnt it. Bloody emitionall roller coaster! Last week I cried nearly every night, this week I've been fine, but today I went to visit my friend who is getting married in a month and it just made me really sad and I cried all the way home :(

I remember being so happy when we married just seven years ago and I stupidly thought it would last for ever! ...

Next time I won't be so daft! AARRGGHH!! Next time? Shoot me now if I ever get married again !

I promised by solicitor today that I never ever would again! She was non committal!

Lol. We will have to start a support group to come round and slap each other if we ever wobble

Never say never - there must be some nice ones out there somewhere!
Hope you're ok today MW.

Can I ask some advice from you all re:access please?

Stbxh is having the DCs on Tues & weds eve, but he doesn't get home from work til 3.15 pm on Tues and school pick up is 3 - 3.10pm. I previously stated that when he can't be back in time for school that he will have to make arrangements to get the DCs collected by another parent.

He has just said "I will collect them from the house at 3.30" even though I have previously explained that on 'his' days I will be organising things for myself which I can't do with the DCs.

Should I really have to hang around just to collect them, bring them home and then palm them off on him 5 minutes later? AIBU to expect him to organise some help from a parent who lives near him (half the school walk past his house on the way home) or should he at least ask me if I would mind helping him by collecting them for him, rather than just stating that he is collecting them from here?

I'm so angry at him that I don't know what is reasonable anymore! I don't want to cause upset to the DCs but it seems stupid that my day is interrupted just to be the person who walks them home.

If you want yo honour snd it's his day to have them then it's up to him
To arrange the pickup. Tell him you aren't available.

Absolutely ridiculous. He can arrange someone to pick them up or he can leave work earlier on those days. This is his way of controlling your days off so you can't do anything too interesting! Tell him you are no longer available.

DIFM - I can't imagine a solicitor (or anyone with half a brain) will think it's reasonable for you to collect your dcs only to hand them over again 20 minutes later. Apart from anything else, they would find that frustrating if not confusing. Maybe your stbxh will have to - shock, horror - change his employment commitments to adapt to his access! If not, and someone else needs to collect your dcs, let HIM arrange that, not you...they are his responsibility at those times after all....

Midwife - how wonderful it would be to see your h's face (and his cousin's) when they find out about this! I hope the shit hits the fan in a big way for them both. As for childcare, I am sure there are lots of trustworthy students out there who would welcome the opportunity to earn a bit of cash through the summer...maybe your ds can sound out some of his friends?

Strangely - stbx is going to the very city adulterous cousin lives in next Friday for a week! My solicitor said, what a shame you don't have a big pot of money lying around to get a private detective to get some photos of them touching each other & winked! Can anyone lend me a few grand?!