Where is he?? Going out of my mind, should I call police and report him missing??

[Alabama100]

I really don't know what to do, my husband said he was in his wy home at 8.30pm it's now 11.30 and he's still not here and his phone is going straight to voicemail. I am going out of my mind with worry! We have a 7 month old so I can't comb the streets looking got him. I am sick with worry! I have called him hundreds of times all voicemail, I have called around pubs and he's not there.

How long should I wait before calling the police??

Good for you goml, you sound very clear about what you want and what you don't want.

I don't really. I have to tell DD now (haven't let on because she was in the midst of GCSEs). But that's a whole other thread.

Hope she's ok and you of course. How did her gcses go?

She did really well - a nervous breakdown over Maths (she loathes maths, and is a C/D borderline) but the rest she is predicted to get As and Bs. I am very proud of her. She has also won a couple of prizes at her school awards day, I am chuffed for her. I think I am going to tell her after her prom (next weekend). I know I am just bloody delaying things. I am really, really dreading it.

Oh Getorf. I am so sorry to hear that. A great deal of what you said in that very honest post resonated so much with me, particularly the bit where you look at the drunken DP and just see 'ugly'. Or in my case it's occasionally 'ugly' but mostly 'pathetic'. Except - I don't know - I guess for me it just hasn't ever been bad enough (ok, it has been pretty bad on occasion) but just not often/regular enough to be major issue that would warrant a marriage breakdown. But then I don't live with that impending darker side that you talk about, and I'm sure you didn't in the early years. As I said before, we can cope with occasional feelings of contempt or disappointment, but when the scales tip the wrong way on a fairly permanent basis and you cease to see an upside then it needs to end.

Thanks leq and hilly

That sounds quite sinister when I say darker side - nothing too heavy but it is strange that the two XPs were all jolly in public, but quite sombre, insecure and depressive types behind closed doors. I had to give constant, constant reassurance. Strange, because on first meeting they seemed as happy as Larry (whoever he was).

I think, like you two, if he had just gone on the piss in random fashions, without that predictive cycle, and without all the other things which went on (stonewalling, lack of interest in sex (tmi I'm sorry), his anger at me for the last 2 years because I earn more than him, silent treatments) I would probably have felt rather like you do. But in the end it all became too much to deal with for both of us.

When we split up I said that I wished that I had never met him, that the good times we had were not worth it and 7 years pissed up the wall. He cried and cried when I said this and I didn't feel anything. This relationship has turned me into a cruel person I think. But then sometimes I look at him and feel churned up because I am so fucking sorry.

Sorry about this - I should have a thread of my own (I did have, but stopped posting on it because I don't want to depress myself any further talking about things) but this thread really resonated with me so it all comes vomitting out.

I'm going out in minute Getorf not to Trader Vics, that was a lie so that I could help TSC follow through on her Anger Orgasm (the bit about paying the housemaid in shiny buttons was absolutely true though) so I can't chat tonight.

I'm hope next week though, without DH for a few weeks. You can come and stay if you like. We can drink wine and eat cake and stay up late moaning. Or maybe there should be another meet-up, but without the crappy John Torode debacle we endured last time.

oh FFS. that should say I'm home, not I'm hope.

Thank you very much - really appreciate the kindness.

Hilly have PM's you

I am sorry things have come to this GetOrf! But like LeQueen says - this is not a dress rehearsal. You deserve to be happy. You didn't get the best start but you have worked fecking hard to make a good life for you and your dd. Mucho respect. If your partner does not hold you in the same regard, well then more fool him. I know you have it what it takes to make a happy life for yourself - though it must be bloody hard at the moment. (((hugs))))

Getorf - no PM.

Oh bloody buggeration hilly - the PM seems to have disappeared (I should have known that pms sent from my phone either double post or not at all). I will wsit until I get home and us the laptop.

Lol at leq 'I TOLD him how to use the pump'

Oh bloody buggeration hilly - the PM seems to have disappeared (I should have known that pms sent from my phone either double post or not at all). I will wsit until I get home and us the laptop.

Lol at leq 'I TOLD him how to use the pump'

I am intrigued as to what your dh DID to the readybeds LeQueen - I can't see many options re. pumping.....

Unless he "overpumped".....

Men should definitely more careful with their attachments when pumping! Did you manage to find beds for all the necessary people?