Where is he?? Going out of my mind, should I call police and report him missing??

[Alabama100]

I really don't know what to do, my husband said he was in his wy home at 8.30pm it's now 11.30 and he's still not here and his phone is going straight to voicemail. I am going out of my mind with worry! We have a 7 month old so I can't comb the streets looking got him. I am sick with worry! I have called him hundreds of times all voicemail, I have called around pubs and he's not there.

How long should I wait before calling the police??

Ahh but LeQ staying in bed with a hangover is quite commonplace, add that to disrespectful behaviour the night before such as, saying a time you'll be home and not sticking to it then being uncontactable then that is a problem and is unacceptable behaviour even if they do sometime make mildly amusing anecdotes.

AF the thing you said about the barbecue is the sort of thing I can categorically say my DH would never do. If there was a planned commitment then he would honour it, and getting stuck in the pub would not happen in that scenario. He isn't thoughtless or deliberately selfish in that way iyswim. If he knew I needed him home for a specific reason he would be there - no question.

mylunch there is no need to be sad on my account. There are plenty of women on MN to feel sad for and I am not one of them. I am quite content to be in a happy if slightly imperfect marriage to a lovely, if slightly imperfect man. I don't think that makes me an object of pity - I think it makes me a realist. And being a realist cannot be overrated IMHO.

If his occasional embarrassing behaviour ever reaches a stage where it is a serious threat to our marriage then rest assured he will be the first to know about it. DH knows how I feel about this and he knows that if he started off with nine lives he is now down to about 5.

But in the meantime I'm not really interested in whether it is 'normal' for anyone else's husband, or whether it would be tolerated by you mylunch , or AF or anyone else . I'm only interested in what works for me. The conditions and ground rules of other people's marriages do not interest me, and I don't judge the worth of my marriage based on anyone else's expectations but my own.

Good marriages are based on give and take - at least they should be, and the day I feel that he is doing all the taking and not enough giving I will deal with it. But all things considered I am a very, very long way off that and I have very little to complain about.

I think a marriage is in serious trouble when the level of contempt you feel for your partner is in danger of outweighing the respect and the fondness, and whilst I have undoubtedly felt contempt towards him on the odd occasion, it has never come close to the respect and the fondness I feel for all the things he continues to do right.

Having said all that, if he never did it again it would not be a day too soon.

No I was referring toactually having a hangover, a lie in etc.

You don;t get many threads started on here saying AIBU because DH has a hangover because it is an accepted repercussion of having a drink.

But if you were to combine it with the unreasonable behaviour then it's unacceptable and there's no defense for it.

Scuse typing my fingers are crap/

lequeen, no offence meant, but you do appear to be backtracking, minimising and trivialising what sounds like very worrying behaviour. You don't need to drink every day, or even every month, to have a serious drinking problem. Behaviour such as you've described isn't some sort of endearing quirk of personality, but a hallmark of a serious problem with alcohol. You say that it "happens rarely now." This may be the case now, but I wouldn't assume that won't change again in the future.

OP glad he's back - in whatever state, anyway...

Reading this thread makes me realise how lucky I am. It's made me a bit reading these tales of so-called adult men getting so pissed they can hardly make it home. I'm not saying you should all 'dump the bastards' - I know it's not that easy when your married with children, etc, and when you love someone. But I can't help thinking that kind of behaviour shouldn't be excused, or enabled by putting up with it.

Mr Flump likes a night out, as I do, but as we are both grown ups (and are jointly responsible for three children) we always manage to stop before we start falling over.

LeQ what makes me sad is that you couldn't get 100% of all the good stuff with someone else. I bet you could. Not saying you should, maybe just that Mr LeQ should realise how lucky he is that you put up with it - or should receive a swift kick up the arse next time he acts like a 15 year old let loose on the Woodpecker Cider...

i'm more sad for your denials but hey- if you're happy.

Ok this has somehow turned into being about LeQ's DH. She says he doesnt have a problem and only goes out 3/4 times a year then that's all cool.

However the OP's DH does sound like he doesnt know how to stop. I understand that feeling, it's not nice. Hope you get things sorted OP.

Don't mention it lequeen.

I'm concerned for anyone who deludes themselves.

And from what I've read of your earlier threads, he sounds like an alcoholic.

Well I'm a very sweet flump LeQ

Oops xposted with all the handbags!

Apparently so.

So lick me

Sorry - forgot it's not Friday