Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 6

[CailinDana]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

Dotty it would have come out sooner or later. I don't think you have ultimately done the wrong thing, just it is a very hard thing to deal with x

I've said some incredibly nasty things too dotty. I have lashed out (verbally) at my DH countless times and he has always taken it with such calm and understanding. If he had posted on MN about me a few years ago he would definitely have been told to "Leave the Bitch". :(

But, I am trying to forgive myself for that and see that because I know it was wrong, I can move past it. DH has already long forgiven me.

Pain can make you do things you regret. But now you are dealing with the pain dotty, you're working slowly through it, and that shows massive courage and strength. It shows your own family that even if you have done things you regret you are making an effort to put it right, and that counts for a whole lot.

I'm ok today cailin all things considered. Achieved things in the meeting. Dh and DH/my friend being nice and making me feel better. Feel a bit inappropriately attracted to DH friend now though not sure if it is sabotaging.

It's ok to be attracted to other people Offred, but you don't have to act on it. I had trouble with boundaries when I was younger. I find it hard to talk about.

A woman posted on the end of part 5 asking about her daughter who was abused when she was younger. I did PM her and told her the thread was full (her post was no.1000) and gave her a link to here but she hasn't appeared. I hope she doesn't think she's being ignored :(

Offred, hugs

Didn't see her, will go back and pm her too.

I pm'd her too!

Oh goodness, she'll be deluged with PMs!

I know.

I did try to come back and say but MN had crashed!

I meant to say I had seen her and PMed her but then forgot

Offred you broke mn :o

Cailin, which day did she post forgot to check

Only about 15 minutes ago Olympic.

Pmsl, thought it might have been a few days ago, she'll definately think we're all bonkers and have scarped.

Did anyone give her a link? I forgot

She might not have seen the pm deluge..

I pm'd her couldnt link on message

Sorry about being idiotic earlier

Not idiotic dotty, unless it was before I came

Definitely not idiotic. You can say whatever is on your mind on this thread.

You weren't being idiotic, how are you feeling now?

Not bad just had a great day out with DD2 and got a letter to give dates i'm available through from witness services no big deal but next step.

Thats a bit crap Dotty, hugs.

Just been on site stuff, there's funny goings on with several pedo threads popping up in active.

Be careful peeps paranoid

dotty. Difficult day.

I'm off to bed guys, sleep well :)

Thanks to all who've sent me messages. I'll try again on this new thread. (Sorry I'm a newbie to this!)

At my wits end with my daughter who was sexually abused 10 years ago for a year when she was 7/8. Not sure what parts of her behaviour are normal for teenagers or expected for a survivor. She's now 17.

He is now in prison for 3 yrs 9 months - woudl've been 7 and a half years if he'd been a few months older at the time of the abuse. The worst part was daughter having 4 and a half hours on the stand being ripped to shreds and the fact that after a very speedy unanimous guilty verdict it took 3 months for sentencing - during which time he was still living locally. We are moving in 4 weeks as we can't bear to be harrassed by the extended family and were sneaking around our locality whilst he was still 'at large'.

Anyway daughter has lost ALL interest in school and in fact hasn't really seriously been at all since her GCSE's last summer. She's really lost her way, does not go to bed til I'm getting up, has been diagnosed with OCD and is generally not doing anything except a part time job stewarding. She does not know what to do with herself from September when she should be re-taking lower 6 somewhere. She has to control the whole house and the whole mood of the house depends upon how she is feeling.

I have a 14 yr old daughter too who is a pleasure and is getting on with her life which just highlights how difficult the 'survivor' is being. She won't talk to a counsellor or me about any of it and I'm at a total loss as to what to do about her. I am a single parent and have been in hospital 3 times in the last 3 weeks and need a hysterectomy very soon due to acute urinary retention (have to self catheterise at times now!). It's just stress, stress, stress and I'm really feeling the strain now. I try to be understanding but I just want her to do something contrsutive and not waster her life now and be defined by what happened to her.

Any advice would be most gratefully received.

Thanks for listening.