I need to leave my husband. Please help me.

[anewbeginning2012]

Hi

I am not a mum. (don't hate me for posting here)

I need to leave my husband. He makes me do things and bullies me. I have no bank account, no job, and no friends.

I can get some money if I take his cards (for shopping). How much do I need?

also to massively complicate things I have a most beloved dog, that comes with me (i hope)

I stopped wearing my wedding ring this week and i am scared that things will escalate, he said rather pointedly 'so there's nothing I can say to make you put your ring back on?'

I am so scared. please help me.

i don't understnd either. isuddenly feel like i am drowning. i just need to know what to do.

he called me at lunch and said the thing about wearing the ring, and i know what it means

Is he going to hurt you over the weekend?

If you want to talk anewbeginning please do.

If you are safe over the weekend then keep it all 'in your head'

Think things through a bit. Go over your escape plan, and think a little about where you want things to go with your life

It will keep you sane and will be useful to have a plan when the agencies get involved

If you need until Monday, then that's what you need. Take your time, you are in control of this.

Ok, so how will he force the ring issue?

O FFS cogito, does it really matter?

please dont be mad at me. please.

he wont hurt me, i will just let him do it. i will say sorry and put it the ring back on.

I have read this site a million times. I know what you are saying is the truth. I am listening to you, even when I log out, i will read it again. he will know if i am typing.

i am listening. i am not wasting your time.

Who cares cogito really, who gives a damn!?

Someone lurking may also be needing this advice

i am real. i dont know how to prove it. i am real.

You have choices and if you break them down it might be easier.

You walk out now and go to the police though if he has broken the law why aren't you ringing them?

You wait until Monday when you can leave once he goes to work - getting a days head start - but you will have to take whatever "you know what that means" is.

There is lots of help out there.

If you are in danger go to the police.

If you are thinking of leaving you can call 116 000 in complete confidence. This is the number for Missing People. They are open 24 hour a day. You can call free from a landline or public call box and some mobiles.

my name is the spanish for hyacinth. I am 29. i am real

Listen, anewbeginning, i understand, really I do. It is not your fault, you need to do this in your own time and your own way. No-one is mad with you, we believe you and are here for you.

don't worry, we believe you. just concentrate on keeping yourself safe.

We are not mad at you! We are concerned for you!

If you can manage this weekend then thats your choice. Use the time well, a new better life could be just round the corner. Your leaving plan needs to be well thought out, it doesn't have to just be a dream :)

You have more strenghth and courage than you realise, remember you are a valuable worthwhile person.

Op, if you are talking about sexual abuse, please get out now darling.

Women's aid, local police, 999, whoever you need to call to stay safe, Just do it.

Some people are suspicious because they don't understand not because you are doing anything wrong. They are being a bit knobby about it. It is against the rules to post how they are posting.

if you can't dial the freephone number from your mobile - dial the number without the 0 (so 800...) - it will dial, but will charge.

to open a bank account, you will need id, and an address.
you can register as no fixed abode at the jobcentre, and they can pay your benefits in person.

find a cheap hotel/b&b that takes payment up front and pay for a length of stay. then you can register at the jobcentre (you are technically homeless but not sleeping rough then). they will give you advice on finding a house/flat, it will most likely be a private landlord, but some housing associations do short-term rents.

did he leave his card on purpose? if he did, he might be expecting you to use it, so beware, because he might report you for stealing his money.

You don't have to talk about what is happening at home, please don't feel goaded into it. There's a time for talking and it will be later. Xx

No one needs to know the details, just that you are safe and that you have a plan to stay safe.

You can ring the free phone number from the phone box if there's one nearby.

Keep yourself safe, yes. Do you know how to do that?