I need to leave my husband. Please help me.

[anewbeginning2012]

Hi

I am not a mum. (don't hate me for posting here)

I need to leave my husband. He makes me do things and bullies me. I have no bank account, no job, and no friends.

I can get some money if I take his cards (for shopping). How much do I need?

also to massively complicate things I have a most beloved dog, that comes with me (i hope)

I stopped wearing my wedding ring this week and i am scared that things will escalate, he said rather pointedly 'so there's nothing I can say to make you put your ring back on?'

I am so scared. please help me.

I have no doubt that this is not your fault.

Don't stay if you feel in danger. Call the police if you are in immediate danger.

You could walk out that door right now with the dog, your passport and credit card if needs be. Everything else is just stuff.

Anew - if you're anywhere near me I will foster the dog for you until you get on your feet, as long as it is relatively dog/child/cat/chicken friendly. I'm Cotswolds and can pick up if need be. Good luck.

Welll, in some senses this is helpful - makes it easier to make a clean break. How long have you been married? Do you work? Do you earn enough to pay rent on a flat / room? Do you know where you'll go?

x post, you really don't need to sort anything now.

Get out and be safe and then people will help you with your new beginning.

I bet everything is far from your fault.

If he has hit you or sexually assaulted you, walk out of there right now and into your nearest police station. If you have time to grab ID documents, credit cards and bank account details, house and car keys, mortgage/tenancy docs, change of clothes and toiletries then do. But get yourself out of more danger.

If you're not at risk of immediate harm, you have time to plan.

You seem to be asking for some serious help! Be very careful about how you leave, no sudden movements, speak to women's aid now and be very very honest with them! You will need their help to disappear, it is possible but you need to remain calm and focused and accept appropriate help.

Have you had a chance to call Women's Aid?

I have put my passport/birth cert/and provisional in my bag. I put them in an envelope so if he sees it and glances in you won't be able to tell what it is.

been married nrly 8 yrs, NO job, crappy work history, I only know 2 places LDN and large wilts town (where i wanna run)

Women's aid will be able to sort out benefits for you. Grab something with your NI number on it.

Are you British? Asking this in case you need to locate visas, immigration docs etc as these could be important

Yes, just go. Call women's aid, take the card and documents, the dog and some clothes and just walk out.

Do you have family you can stay with?

None of this is your fault.

Ok along with your docs put some clean sets of underwear, a change of clothes, recent bank statements (his and yours if separate) if you have them handy. Some dog food and a collar and lead. Any medication you need.

BUT if you need to go, don't stay to pack, you can just GO. Anything can be replaced, anything but you yourself.

Has he broken the law?

i tried to ring WA. it said this number is not free of charge from mobile phones and then cut out

The ladies are right, if your in immediate danger just walk, now! Nobody should live in fear of a man, leave. Stuff can be replaced, get your documents (if you have time) and get out!

no family. last time i had friends was 10 years ago.
I have no bank account. nothing in my name except ID.

He has broken the law.

Walk to your local police station! They will help you call women's aid and youll be safe! Don't mess about, the more time you have the better.

I don't have kids either btw :)

Dogs Trust Freedom Project might help ONCE you're out with looking after your dog.

Go to the police then anewbeginning, they can refer you to WA.

i'm scared to.

you havent said why you are leaving, not thats any of our business, but if you are running that indicates you are frightened. if you are that scared, please don't go somewhere he thinks you may go. Go somewhere totally different.

And if you do use his credit card, DO NOT buy anything like a train ticket on it - because he will know exactly where you have gone

Police station will be able to help you. They have connections with hostels/refuges. They could even escort you back to pick up belongings.

Time is ticking op. I'm worried for you!

You can use this map to find your local police station if you're in London.

Or if you can't get out, call 999 either from home or from local shop/cafe/train station/wherever and say you are in fear of violence from your husband and need someone to come out straightaway because he's due back.

I understand but you are scared of him. You need to leave, this is a good opportunity. The police WILL take you seriously and they will keep you safe.

He can't hurt you if you get to the police, they will protect you and help you with WA. You have everything you need regarding documents. Walk out of the door and don't look back.

The police would rather prevent another crime than have to clear up afterwards. Honestly.

Just because he's made you feel like you've got no friends, it doesn't mean other people consider you unworthy of help and protection.