Do you think he will hurt me?

[singlemum2012]

I am newly and unexpectedly single, separated for a while but ex-dh only moved out 6 months ago so I am fairly new to dating. Ex-dh was first boyfriend so not very experienced.

Have started seeing this guy. Sex is fantastic, we began the relationship as a friends with benefits thing as he is a bit younger than me and doesn't want kids, fine with me and scratches an itch till I find someone more suitable for long-term. But this guy is a bit of an oddball and has been doing more and more things and I can't figure out whether he is not safe to be around or just messing with me. I only see him on weekends when I don't have my kids, he has never been to my house and does not even know my address.

A couple of times he has hidden behind the bathroom door so when I come out it makes me jump. Another time I was coming out of the bathroom and he was brandishing a hammer. He said he was putting up pictures, and there were pictures on the floor, but he never got around to it and I didn't see any nails, I just had the feeling he was doing it on purpose to scare me. He has cooked for me twice and both times has loaded the meals with as much fat as he possibly can, food fried in stupid amounts of lard, with gold top milk and cream and alcohol added. He told me one of his girlfriends put on two stone in six months when she lived with him. He's skinny and I noticed he ate less than half of his portion. He makes a big deal over the fact that he likes offal, raw meat and black pudding and is a huge attention seeker, when I am with him he is really wearing, he wants my attention all of the time, even keeping me awake most of the night and not letting me sleep. If it wasn't for the fabulous sex I would have run, would like to stay for this but I can't figure out whether he is a harmless attention-seeker pretending to be a dark and dangerous guy or whether he is actually dangerous. He drinks like a fish as well, has no friends (he says), wears black all the time and has decorated his house with weapons (he has good job and own house). He texts me all the time when I am not with him. I feel I don't have enough experience to evaluate him...my head says run but my heart wants the attention / the intimacy / the great sex.

Your opinions please??

I bet he's got a big chest freezer in the garage. Padlocked.

squeakytoy - good point, never thought of that.

manicbmc - well if there are I'm not finding them. I only spend time with him when I HAVEN'T got a date, I'm still looking for Mr Right. But I have single friends who have been single for many many years, have friends who didn't find a serious boyfriend for 9, 10 years. he's just scratching an itch along the way, or that was the idea.

On a serious note

If he's not interested in finding out any details about you, like your surname or where you live or anything else and you only see him at weekends, you could well be one of many fuck buddies.

Firstly, I hope you always use protection and secondly...why not find another fuck buddy and only dump him when you've found one?

Win-win really.

Does he have a brother? justwonderingifthereareanymoreoutthere LOL

may have thought carppachio was a singing thingy

I like the way you're protecting yourself from stalking as if that makes you responsible, but aren't so interested in preventing yourself getting hit on the head by a hammer.

Texting your friend to tell her you're safe is what prostituted women have to do. I'm not likening you to a prostituted woman, but he appears to pose the same level of risk as the violent punters do. You're certainly treating him that way.

"I just feel he wants to shock."

Or maybe he's just working his way up to hurting you.

I hope this isn't real too, because it would be too distressing if it was.

@ 'he sounds quite debonair'

I expect he'll be a very persistent itch if and when you decide to get rid.

See, if he doesnt know who you are, and you dont carry any ID, supposing you had an innocent accident whilst with him. How would he contact anyone to let them know?

im surprised we have not seen him on CDWM, he sounds like an ideal contenstant

Me too Stratters, if I may call you that. One of those aristocat kittens sings about it.

He wants to shock!!! How old is he? 10.? You both need to grow up.

WTF up is letting someone put his penis inside you but (rightly) not trusting them enough to give them your real name. Again, something that prostituted women do, to protect themselves from violent punters.

WorraLiberty - I'm pretty sure I'm his only one right now. Oh god this sounds worse but he's been trying to persuade me to go bareback and paid £300 for STI screening last week, especially for me, as I insisted. He's taken down his profile and has dropped big hints that I am his only one. Its finding a fuck buddy with mutual attraction who will stick around though, one offs are horrible. But will keep looking.

Sorry op the more you write the more i just think

I don't know who i object to more, him for sounding so odd or for sounding so bloody irresponsible.

Why would anyone pay £300 for STI screening when it is free on the NHS?

I've only seen him twice, by the way.

He paid £300 to a clap clinic when the NHS would have done the tests for free?

Really?

One night stands are worse than hammer-weilding, offal eating, black wearing weirdos?

One reason that you haven't found Mr Right (if that's really what you want) is that your standards are so low you can only see yourself with Mr Wrong. You need to value yourself more. Your self esteem must be on the floor if you're so desperate to hang on to this one.

manicbmc - because he didn't want to have to wait weeks for the results and he wasn't able to go to a clinic in work hours

Time for bed i think.

You've only seen him twice and all this has happened?!