Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Do you think he will hurt me?

673 replies

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 21:59

I am newly and unexpectedly single, separated for a while but ex-dh only moved out 6 months ago so I am fairly new to dating. Ex-dh was first boyfriend so not very experienced.

Have started seeing this guy. Sex is fantastic, we began the relationship as a friends with benefits thing as he is a bit younger than me and doesn't want kids, fine with me and scratches an itch till I find someone more suitable for long-term. But this guy is a bit of an oddball and has been doing more and more things and I can't figure out whether he is not safe to be around or just messing with me. I only see him on weekends when I don't have my kids, he has never been to my house and does not even know my address.

A couple of times he has hidden behind the bathroom door so when I come out it makes me jump. Another time I was coming out of the bathroom and he was brandishing a hammer. He said he was putting up pictures, and there were pictures on the floor, but he never got around to it and I didn't see any nails, I just had the feeling he was doing it on purpose to scare me. He has cooked for me twice and both times has loaded the meals with as much fat as he possibly can, food fried in stupid amounts of lard, with gold top milk and cream and alcohol added. He told me one of his girlfriends put on two stone in six months when she lived with him. He's skinny and I noticed he ate less than half of his portion. He makes a big deal over the fact that he likes offal, raw meat and black pudding and is a huge attention seeker, when I am with him he is really wearing, he wants my attention all of the time, even keeping me awake most of the night and not letting me sleep. If it wasn't for the fabulous sex I would have run, would like to stay for this but I can't figure out whether he is a harmless attention-seeker pretending to be a dark and dangerous guy or whether he is actually dangerous. He drinks like a fish as well, has no friends (he says), wears black all the time and has decorated his house with weapons (he has good job and own house). He texts me all the time when I am not with him. I feel I don't have enough experience to evaluate him...my head says run but my heart wants the attention / the intimacy / the great sex.

Your opinions please??

OP posts:
Hullygully · 23/05/2012 09:05

Of course you haven't caused any offence!

Jeremy says it's nice to see at least one decent person on MN.

realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 23/05/2012 09:08

Right... I'm confused now.

RubyGates · 23/05/2012 09:09

Is he really our Jeremy?
We were very worried about him! I guess it's difficult to fit into a house share that's more like a chaotic family when you're shy and different.

He probably hated us Sad

Hullygully · 23/05/2012 09:11

He said you were all very unkind, not deliberately, but that no one made an effort to get to know the real him just because he was shy. He said he always had the feeling you were all laughing at him.

I've always told him he was probably being over sensitive. He was, wasn't he?

RubyGates · 23/05/2012 09:15

He was. It was a very tightly knit house. More like a family and we're all still in touch. We do often wonder what happened to the poor souls who didn't manage to weld themselves into the melee. I'm so glad he didn't turn out the way we thought he would.

I've asked for the identifying posts to be removed, and I vow never to drink another whole bottle of intersting rose at once again.

RubyGates · 23/05/2012 09:16
Hullygully · 23/05/2012 09:17

Jeremy says he forgives you. Did you know he found Our Lord? About ten years ago he went on an Alpha Course and then was Born Again and he has found life much easier to cope with now he walks the Way of Jesus.

Forgiveness is a very powerful release.

RubyGates · 23/05/2012 09:21

Thanks Hully, Thanks Jeremy.
I'm glad I found out about the happy ending.

LadyBeagleEyes · 23/05/2012 09:23

Who the fuck is Jeremy Confused?

Hullygully · 23/05/2012 09:24

He does have a favour to ask. He can forgive for himself, but not on behalf of his father. His father (I don't know if you know) is a very proud man with a turbulent medical history.

Jeremy would really appreciate it if you would write a full rebuttal of your assertion about his father's business.

It would mean a lot. In the old days he was too shy to stand up for himself, but now he feels he must emulate Jesus and demand justice and restitution where it is due.

realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 23/05/2012 09:25

But noone knows who Jeremy or his dad is so how has it damaged his reputation?!

RubyGates · 23/05/2012 09:26

I'm sorry if caused any offence, and I'm sure your description of his father's business is entirely accurate.

Hullygully · 23/05/2012 09:27

I can't believe you're asking that. This is the sort of insensitivity that threatens my husband's journey. Again.

Would you like to see people casually slagging off your loved ones and saying they destroy virginal lands?

Hullygully · 23/05/2012 09:28

Thank you Ruby.

Not exactly fulsome, but an apology of sorts. I'll try and persuade Jeremy to accept it when he has finished in the chapel.

RubyGates · 23/05/2012 09:28

I have asked for my psot to be removed. Obviously un-dedeveloped prts of the world need all the help they can get to join the 21st century and fully participate in modern commercial activities.

realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 23/05/2012 09:29

Don't want to get my head chopped off, but didn't hully mock and "slander" tiger boy and others further down the thread ...

Alameda · 23/05/2012 09:29

sorry for admitting that I have happily gulped down lots of Jeremy's dad's sperm now and then, all the brothers and sisters he will never have

sorry Jeremy, sorry God

Hullygully · 23/05/2012 09:29

Oh, he also wanted me to ask you who it was that spilt yoghurt on his favourite black top and never owned up?

It's always haunted him.

Maryz · 23/05/2012 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully · 23/05/2012 09:30

Alamdea I don't understand why you are lying about Jeremy's father's seminal fluid.

RubyGates · 23/05/2012 09:30

Obviously I can't type whilst trying to prevent a toddler from destroying my computer. I wish I had a chapel!

Alameda · 23/05/2012 09:31

did we just cross virtual spunk hully

RubyGates · 23/05/2012 09:31

Probabaly a nice neo-gothic one, with Burne-Jones windows for preference. Puginesque.

realhousewifeofdevoncounty · 23/05/2012 09:31

I too am baffled maryz.

Hullygully · 23/05/2012 09:32

It's only a small one, it's one of those Anderson shelters from the war that we have done up and put some frescoes and a nice crucifix in. He finds peace there.