Do you think he will hurt me?

[singlemum2012]

I am newly and unexpectedly single, separated for a while but ex-dh only moved out 6 months ago so I am fairly new to dating. Ex-dh was first boyfriend so not very experienced.

Have started seeing this guy. Sex is fantastic, we began the relationship as a friends with benefits thing as he is a bit younger than me and doesn't want kids, fine with me and scratches an itch till I find someone more suitable for long-term. But this guy is a bit of an oddball and has been doing more and more things and I can't figure out whether he is not safe to be around or just messing with me. I only see him on weekends when I don't have my kids, he has never been to my house and does not even know my address.

A couple of times he has hidden behind the bathroom door so when I come out it makes me jump. Another time I was coming out of the bathroom and he was brandishing a hammer. He said he was putting up pictures, and there were pictures on the floor, but he never got around to it and I didn't see any nails, I just had the feeling he was doing it on purpose to scare me. He has cooked for me twice and both times has loaded the meals with as much fat as he possibly can, food fried in stupid amounts of lard, with gold top milk and cream and alcohol added. He told me one of his girlfriends put on two stone in six months when she lived with him. He's skinny and I noticed he ate less than half of his portion. He makes a big deal over the fact that he likes offal, raw meat and black pudding and is a huge attention seeker, when I am with him he is really wearing, he wants my attention all of the time, even keeping me awake most of the night and not letting me sleep. If it wasn't for the fabulous sex I would have run, would like to stay for this but I can't figure out whether he is a harmless attention-seeker pretending to be a dark and dangerous guy or whether he is actually dangerous. He drinks like a fish as well, has no friends (he says), wears black all the time and has decorated his house with weapons (he has good job and own house). He texts me all the time when I am not with him. I feel I don't have enough experience to evaluate him...my head says run but my heart wants the attention / the intimacy / the great sex.

Your opinions please??

I don't think you are going to listen to anyone's opinion, you seem to defend him at every turn, why bother asking?

As I said previously, you say he is a FWB but what if he sees this as more than that?

He will then turn into crazy stalker guy.

Agree all murder talk is OTT.
Op, does he mumble stuff about basting as he's about to come?

The thing is - you are wasting your time on this man - wouldn't your time be better spent on yourself/trying to meet a partner who you would want a proper adult relationship with?

I think painting him as a potential murderer is a bit OTT. I just feel he wants to shock

You were the one doing the painting love.... we are just giving you the reaction you knew we would

All this horrible being single thing........I struggle to get it.........it's awesome being single. Like really it is. You have to like, erm, work at it a bit though, go on a 'self discovery' and all that bollocks, then it is truly exhilarating. Life is too short to be wasted compromising yourself and questioning yourself for some total arse.

Does he have a house made out of sweets and cakes?

christ almighty, I've heard some women who are cockstruck, but this one takes the

Bupcakes, you missed off

Alcoholic
Keeps OP awake all night denying her any sleep
Trying to fatten her up

I second the rampant rabbit!

Think of the kids woman!!!! [Shock]

I am taking this with a massive pinch of salt now. First she's off painting him out to be like the next Crossbow Cannibal (I'd read that link, OP) now she's trying to make out that he's basically Aled Jones going through an emo phase.

My cousin is an emo. The most dangerous/unsettling thing he does is have a haircut that points in 7 directions at once. I'm pretty sure that he doesn't wave hammers at his girlfriend or eat raw offal in the mirror, so like, he can totally watch the blood drip down his, like, face.

well mcmooncup I've been single for almost 2 years and have yet to get to the "awesome to be single" stage, and neither have my single friends. each to their own I guess.

I'm protecting myself from stalking as he does not know my full name, address, facebook, all he has is an anonymous email address and my phone number.

I am listening and appreciating your feedback, really I am.

Oh goodie, we've had 'leave the bastard' and 'think of the children' all in the same thread!!

he cooks his offal. the raw meat thing is just like steak tartare or carpaccio.

Do you realise how easy it is to find someone's details online with a bit of software and a few minor details?

He probably already knows a lot more than you think.

Washed down with a nice Chianti no doubt

he doesn't. I think he's actually not that intelligent and he is too self-obsessed to bother. he doesn't even know my surname.

all his knows is my first name, which is not even my real name as I go by my middle name, and my home-town

well in that case he just sounds like your average north london foodie so i think the offal/raw meat can be crossed off the suspicious list

"He cooks his offal. the raw meat thing is just like steak tartare or carpaccio"

Fair enough, carpaccio is nice. I can recommend a restaurant in Sorrento that does a lovely one. He sounds quite debonair. I think he'd like that.

like I said, I think he just makes a big deal out of it as it makes himself sound more interesting. he's a food snob.

So you dont carry any ID with you then?

Why risk it though? Seriously, there are plenty of nice men out there. And while you're spending your weekends with him you have no chance of meeting anyone better.

What I am saying is, what is more important to you? Cuddles with your child or a shag with someone who quite possibly, and appears to be, dangerous and may put a stop to those cuddles?

And even though you think he doesn't know where you live, doesn't mean he doesn't. It is amazing what you can find on the internet.

I am not saying to stay with your kids all the time and stay celibate, but for crying out loud, find someone who isn't a possible psycho, knowing that your safety is fine with them. YOU are the one that came here with this information. YOU obviously know yourself something isn't right about him so stop being a bloody idiot and run!!

You know what OP? I've changed my mind. He sounds amazing. You've sold me with the carpaccio. Does he have a brother?