Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Do you think he will hurt me?

673 replies

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 21:59

I am newly and unexpectedly single, separated for a while but ex-dh only moved out 6 months ago so I am fairly new to dating. Ex-dh was first boyfriend so not very experienced.

Have started seeing this guy. Sex is fantastic, we began the relationship as a friends with benefits thing as he is a bit younger than me and doesn't want kids, fine with me and scratches an itch till I find someone more suitable for long-term. But this guy is a bit of an oddball and has been doing more and more things and I can't figure out whether he is not safe to be around or just messing with me. I only see him on weekends when I don't have my kids, he has never been to my house and does not even know my address.

A couple of times he has hidden behind the bathroom door so when I come out it makes me jump. Another time I was coming out of the bathroom and he was brandishing a hammer. He said he was putting up pictures, and there were pictures on the floor, but he never got around to it and I didn't see any nails, I just had the feeling he was doing it on purpose to scare me. He has cooked for me twice and both times has loaded the meals with as much fat as he possibly can, food fried in stupid amounts of lard, with gold top milk and cream and alcohol added. He told me one of his girlfriends put on two stone in six months when she lived with him. He's skinny and I noticed he ate less than half of his portion. He makes a big deal over the fact that he likes offal, raw meat and black pudding and is a huge attention seeker, when I am with him he is really wearing, he wants my attention all of the time, even keeping me awake most of the night and not letting me sleep. If it wasn't for the fabulous sex I would have run, would like to stay for this but I can't figure out whether he is a harmless attention-seeker pretending to be a dark and dangerous guy or whether he is actually dangerous. He drinks like a fish as well, has no friends (he says), wears black all the time and has decorated his house with weapons (he has good job and own house). He texts me all the time when I am not with him. I feel I don't have enough experience to evaluate him...my head says run but my heart wants the attention / the intimacy / the great sex.

Your opinions please??

OP posts:
Noqontrol · 21/05/2012 22:07

Run. He sounds weird. And you don't even like him. There's plenty of decent men out there. Run run run!!!!

TwoTribes · 21/05/2012 22:07

and run some more . . .

BupcakesandCunting · 21/05/2012 22:07

Assuming this is serious...

You know when a serial killer gets caught and the tabloids speak to the ex-girlfriends? Well this^ is the kind of shit you read. "I should have realised he was capable of this, what with his hammer-wieldling and raw meat penchant"

Run. Run like fuckery.

Stellarforstar · 21/05/2012 22:07

Run. When you get where you're running to, keep running some more.

The sleep deprivation alone should be ringing serious bells.

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 21/05/2012 22:07

Also not sure I believe the thread but...
dump him and go to Anne Summers. That 'scratches an itch' too Grin

akaemmafrost · 21/05/2012 22:07

Shock Jesus Christ on a Horse Drawn Apple Cart, you have to ask!!?

Disclaimer, that is not my saying another mnetter used it and I have always wanted to, I think this thread warrants it!

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:07

@stargirl1701 - sex with self is lonely. I miss the intimacy. Been almost 2 years since I last slept with ex-dh and even that was crap. I've been trying to meet good men but they are damn hard to find. Think they must be all taken!!

OP posts:
bumblebeader · 21/05/2012 22:07

I recommend a rampant rabbit from Ann Summers until you find someone more suitable. ;)

manicbmc · 21/05/2012 22:09

He sounds delightful Hmm

Run for the hills, singlemum, run very fast. And be thankful you haven't got more involved. He sounds positively mad and not in a good way.

squeakytoy · 21/05/2012 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

CanISawItOff · 21/05/2012 22:09

I don't think Dexter does.

Alternatively I could draw some parallels to actual serial nut jobs that had a similar M.O if it is preferred?

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:09

Have had rabbits for almost two years. IT IS NOT THE SAME! Any single women out there? Surely you understand?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 21/05/2012 22:09

Well on the plus side, you'll be fit and healthy after all the bonking and running....

MissM · 21/05/2012 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

manicbmc · 21/05/2012 22:10

Reminds me of American Psycho.

akaemmafrost · 21/05/2012 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

QuintessentialShadows · 21/05/2012 22:10

You are joking right?

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:10

@squeakytoy - he's for real, I would give you the link to his dating profile but he took it down last week. now he has "found me" he says he doesn't need it. I know, I know... I just feel all this raw meat black clothes stuff is just him being a teenager than never grew up.

OP posts:
harrietlichman · 21/05/2012 22:10

Oh come off it, OP.

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:11

There are loads of bachelors that collect weapons.

OP posts:
Angelico · 21/05/2012 22:11

Is this a joke? Like really? Because no sane person would hang around if they even had to ask the question "Will he hurt me?" Rabbit all the way.

QuintessentialShadows · 21/05/2012 22:11

Is his name James?

(If so, I know him, and you should most definitely run!)

CanISawItOff · 21/05/2012 22:11

You know you could just do what a lot of women do and go out for a night out and bag a random shag. You have less chance of meeting a fabulous shag but the odds are in your favour on the 'not meeting a psycho nut job' roulette wheel

squeakytoy · 21/05/2012 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:12

He's still the best sex I ever had and he has this animal magnetism, he's incredibly attractive.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread