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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Do you think he will hurt me?

673 replies

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 21:59

I am newly and unexpectedly single, separated for a while but ex-dh only moved out 6 months ago so I am fairly new to dating. Ex-dh was first boyfriend so not very experienced.

Have started seeing this guy. Sex is fantastic, we began the relationship as a friends with benefits thing as he is a bit younger than me and doesn't want kids, fine with me and scratches an itch till I find someone more suitable for long-term. But this guy is a bit of an oddball and has been doing more and more things and I can't figure out whether he is not safe to be around or just messing with me. I only see him on weekends when I don't have my kids, he has never been to my house and does not even know my address.

A couple of times he has hidden behind the bathroom door so when I come out it makes me jump. Another time I was coming out of the bathroom and he was brandishing a hammer. He said he was putting up pictures, and there were pictures on the floor, but he never got around to it and I didn't see any nails, I just had the feeling he was doing it on purpose to scare me. He has cooked for me twice and both times has loaded the meals with as much fat as he possibly can, food fried in stupid amounts of lard, with gold top milk and cream and alcohol added. He told me one of his girlfriends put on two stone in six months when she lived with him. He's skinny and I noticed he ate less than half of his portion. He makes a big deal over the fact that he likes offal, raw meat and black pudding and is a huge attention seeker, when I am with him he is really wearing, he wants my attention all of the time, even keeping me awake most of the night and not letting me sleep. If it wasn't for the fabulous sex I would have run, would like to stay for this but I can't figure out whether he is a harmless attention-seeker pretending to be a dark and dangerous guy or whether he is actually dangerous. He drinks like a fish as well, has no friends (he says), wears black all the time and has decorated his house with weapons (he has good job and own house). He texts me all the time when I am not with him. I feel I don't have enough experience to evaluate him...my head says run but my heart wants the attention / the intimacy / the great sex.

Your opinions please??

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 21/05/2012 22:00

Run. Like the wind.

He is either dangerous, a muppet or a dangerous muppet.

Loads of men are good at sex. Find a better one.

LoopyLoopsTootTootToots · 21/05/2012 22:00

er, yes. Red flag city. Run a mile, then run some more.

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:01

PS this should have been titled AIBU to think he is a psycho? lol.

OP posts:
Olympia2012 · 21/05/2012 22:01

Run.... For the hills...

squeakytoy · 21/05/2012 22:01

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WhereMyMilk · 21/05/2012 22:02

Run, run like fuck, as far and as fast as you can.

solidgoldbrass · 21/05/2012 22:02

FFS. Are you serious? There are plenty of men who are good at sex out there, why bother with this wierdo? Even if he isn't actually dangerous (though he does sound like an embryonic serial killer from what you've written) he's fucking childish, attention-seeking and twatty.

Casmama · 21/05/2012 22:03

You can have great sex with someone else. You don't even like this guy and yes I think he may very well hurt you. Get rid.

WorraLiberty · 21/05/2012 22:03

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Marilyn1980 · 21/05/2012 22:03

yep run, I've just finished a domestic violence course and this guy ticks so many of the boxes he should just be locked up now.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/05/2012 22:04

I think he is just an attention seeking weirdo but why would you want him in your life? Sounds very strange.

auntmargaret · 21/05/2012 22:04

Please run. Fast. And never go back. Change your phone number. There are lots of good men out there, you deserve one of them. Run!

CanISawItOff · 21/05/2012 22:04

Is his name Dexter? :o

LentillyFart · 21/05/2012 22:04

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TheUnsinkableTitanic · 21/05/2012 22:04

run run run

emsyj · 21/05/2012 22:05

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LadySybilDeChocolate · 21/05/2012 22:05

Good god, did you really have to ask us? Shock Just dump the bastard!

PacificDogwood · 21/05/2012 22:05

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singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:05

@WorraLiberty no its not a wind-up

@Marilyn1980 which boxes did he tick, out of interest? I know he's a bit odd but I felt he was doing it all to get a rise out of me but is really just sad and lonely.

OP posts:
auntmargaret · 21/05/2012 22:05

Does Dexter drink?

stargirl1701 · 21/05/2012 22:05

Run. You can great sex with yourself!

squeakytoy · 21/05/2012 22:06

So how did you meet this fine specimen of humanity then?

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:06

@PacificDogwood - yes of course they do. have thoroughly google-checked him and my friend has all his details.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 21/05/2012 22:06

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RightBuggerforit · 21/05/2012 22:06

Hmm There has been a lot of wierd posts on here tonight - compo, mass bullying and now a wierdo boyfriend.

Obviously the relationship is not going very well if you suspect him of being a total psyco who does wierd stuff to scare you. You don't need much dating experience to know that, surely.

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