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Do you think he will hurt me?

673 replies

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 21:59

I am newly and unexpectedly single, separated for a while but ex-dh only moved out 6 months ago so I am fairly new to dating. Ex-dh was first boyfriend so not very experienced.

Have started seeing this guy. Sex is fantastic, we began the relationship as a friends with benefits thing as he is a bit younger than me and doesn't want kids, fine with me and scratches an itch till I find someone more suitable for long-term. But this guy is a bit of an oddball and has been doing more and more things and I can't figure out whether he is not safe to be around or just messing with me. I only see him on weekends when I don't have my kids, he has never been to my house and does not even know my address.

A couple of times he has hidden behind the bathroom door so when I come out it makes me jump. Another time I was coming out of the bathroom and he was brandishing a hammer. He said he was putting up pictures, and there were pictures on the floor, but he never got around to it and I didn't see any nails, I just had the feeling he was doing it on purpose to scare me. He has cooked for me twice and both times has loaded the meals with as much fat as he possibly can, food fried in stupid amounts of lard, with gold top milk and cream and alcohol added. He told me one of his girlfriends put on two stone in six months when she lived with him. He's skinny and I noticed he ate less than half of his portion. He makes a big deal over the fact that he likes offal, raw meat and black pudding and is a huge attention seeker, when I am with him he is really wearing, he wants my attention all of the time, even keeping me awake most of the night and not letting me sleep. If it wasn't for the fabulous sex I would have run, would like to stay for this but I can't figure out whether he is a harmless attention-seeker pretending to be a dark and dangerous guy or whether he is actually dangerous. He drinks like a fish as well, has no friends (he says), wears black all the time and has decorated his house with weapons (he has good job and own house). He texts me all the time when I am not with him. I feel I don't have enough experience to evaluate him...my head says run but my heart wants the attention / the intimacy / the great sex.

Your opinions please??

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 21/05/2012 22:24

is this his profile picture?

HokeyCokeyPigInaPokey · 21/05/2012 22:24

Who saw a werewolf??

HecateTrivia · 21/05/2012 22:24

I don't think you are a troll.

I think you are making a big mistake.

But I don't think you're a troll.

I just don't think you should be wondering whether the man in your life is going to hurt you, and thinking that you'll put up with someone trying to shock/scare you because you're too afraid to be on your own.

I think you're worth more than that. Everyone is worth more than that.

I think it's a shame you don't see that you're worth more than that.

Nyac · 21/05/2012 22:24

Being single doesn't suck by the way. Being desperate for a man does, but you can get over that.

BupcakesandCunting · 21/05/2012 22:25

"There are loads of bachelors that collect weapons."

That sounds like a tagline from the new film "Online Date" starring Jennifer Aniston (as the OP) and Zach Galifianakis (offal guy)

ledkr · 21/05/2012 22:25

op being single only sucks if you date oddbods who make you fear you may be hurt.

LowFlyingBirds · 21/05/2012 22:25

Im single.
I find it really quite straight forward to have good sex with people i actually like.

But if i ever find myself hankering after a bit of drama in my life i'll be sure to look for my very own werewolf.

MissMogwi · 21/05/2012 22:25

I'm single and have been for a long time.

But I'd rather remain that way forever than have to ask strangers on the interweb if my hammer wielding, scary, friendless boyfriend seemed like Mr Right.

He sounds like a weirdo, good shag or not. Get rid, obviously.

bobbledunk · 21/05/2012 22:25

Why don't you stick around to find out? He may prove your suspicions correct and then you will know for sure. I'm not sure people who've managed to reproduce themsel

Burgermuffin · 21/05/2012 22:26

Oh lardy! He sounds really offal. Run while you still can.

hatesponge · 21/05/2012 22:26

Christ almighty. I like sex as much as the next person (probably more so if anything) I am also single, and barring a few one-offs havent had sex in 3 years.

In spite of that it would be a cold day in hell before I got within shagging distance of this weirdo. What you have said about this man literally makes my skin crawl. At best he is seriously weird, possibly also narcissistic, with sociopathic tendencies etc.

I'll be honest there aren't that many great men out there (I haven't met any in 3 years) but that's not a good enough reason to lower your standards to this extent.

I'd feel safer shagging a random I met in a club in preference to this guy. Sorry.

thenightsky · 21/05/2012 22:26

How old is he? He sounds like some emo/goth person who is out to shock.

Very childish.

bobbledunk · 21/05/2012 22:26

Agh.. I'm not sure people who've managed to reproduce themselves can win a Darwin Award but you might get a special mention.

HokeyCokeyPigInaPokey · 21/05/2012 22:26

Well if this is for real and you just think "he is a tad eccentric" you wouldn't be posting on here would you?

I think the fact you posted on here answers your own question.

Nyac · 21/05/2012 22:27

What does being a good shag actually consist of in this context? I bet he's rubbish really, and you're just clinging on to that because then you would have no excuses to keep seeing him.

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:27

I'm not ignoring the advice, I'm listening, and trying to explain why I am seeing him in the first place.

And nyac any ideas for how NOT to be desperate for a man would be gratefully received. After living with a cold man for many many years, trying hard to make it work and finally admitting defeat, I just want intimacy so much.

OP posts:
BestestBrownies · 21/05/2012 22:27

FFS! I get that you're lonely OP, but are you REALLY that desperate? And how the fuck would you ever consider introducing him to your kids? Provided of course, that he lets you live long enough for the relationship to get that far.....

manicbmc · 21/05/2012 22:27

Hahahaha @burgermuffin Grin

MarySA · 21/05/2012 22:27

He sounds more than a little bit creepy. More like a character out of Tales of the Unexpected by the sound of it.

akaemmafrost · 21/05/2012 22:29

A well known poster on here, but I can't remember who, saw a werewolf. Who was it? Someone must know.

SarahStratton · 21/05/2012 22:29

James? Patrick? My money's on Andy, cos I've shagged met him too.

Oh yeah, run. Quite fast.

WorraLiberty · 21/05/2012 22:29

Burgermuffin Grin

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:29

nyac he is the best I ever had actually. his oral skills are unsurpassed and he has a 9" cock with incredible staying power. he also loves to touch and cuddle and kiss. you did ask.

OP posts:
QOD · 21/05/2012 22:29

So why are you even asking when you just keep sticking up for him? Really you're just after attention from us aren't you.

Get an actual grip.

MissM · 21/05/2012 22:29

MarySA he probably is.

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