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Original poster

Do you think he will hurt me?

673 replies

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 21:59

I am newly and unexpectedly single, separated for a while but ex-dh only moved out 6 months ago so I am fairly new to dating. Ex-dh was first boyfriend so not very experienced.

Have started seeing this guy. Sex is fantastic, we began the relationship as a friends with benefits thing as he is a bit younger than me and doesn't want kids, fine with me and scratches an itch till I find someone more suitable for long-term. But this guy is a bit of an oddball and has been doing more and more things and I can't figure out whether he is not safe to be around or just messing with me. I only see him on weekends when I don't have my kids, he has never been to my house and does not even know my address.

A couple of times he has hidden behind the bathroom door so when I come out it makes me jump. Another time I was coming out of the bathroom and he was brandishing a hammer. He said he was putting up pictures, and there were pictures on the floor, but he never got around to it and I didn't see any nails, I just had the feeling he was doing it on purpose to scare me. He has cooked for me twice and both times has loaded the meals with as much fat as he possibly can, food fried in stupid amounts of lard, with gold top milk and cream and alcohol added. He told me one of his girlfriends put on two stone in six months when she lived with him. He's skinny and I noticed he ate less than half of his portion. He makes a big deal over the fact that he likes offal, raw meat and black pudding and is a huge attention seeker, when I am with him he is really wearing, he wants my attention all of the time, even keeping me awake most of the night and not letting me sleep. If it wasn't for the fabulous sex I would have run, would like to stay for this but I can't figure out whether he is a harmless attention-seeker pretending to be a dark and dangerous guy or whether he is actually dangerous. He drinks like a fish as well, has no friends (he says), wears black all the time and has decorated his house with weapons (he has good job and own house). He texts me all the time when I am not with him. I feel I don't have enough experience to evaluate him...my head says run but my heart wants the attention / the intimacy / the great sex.

Your opinions please??

OP posts:
LowFlyingBirds · 21/05/2012 22:17

Carry on shagging him then!
Why do you need anyone else to validate your sex life?

CanISawItOff · 21/05/2012 22:17
Original poster
singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:18

@ledkr please be serious, I'm not a troll

OP posts:
Noqontrol · 21/05/2012 22:18

That would be a hint to get out if they were ledkr Grin

giraffesCantGoPotholing · 21/05/2012 22:18

okaaaay

Original poster
singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:19

I just get the impression that he likes to shock/scare but does not mean it. I feel he is a sad and lonely attention-seeker.

OP posts:
MissM · 21/05/2012 22:19

Perhaps the MN werewolf spotter could check him out?

squeakytoy · 21/05/2012 22:19

So when he has fattened you up, and is preparing to use one of his other weapons on you, you wont be able to run away very quickly...

Does he have a sewing machine, and a cellar?

usualsuspect · 21/05/2012 22:19

I'd be careful around full moon

Noqontrol · 21/05/2012 22:20

Seriously though singlemum, you obviously feel there's a little bit of a problem here for you to post in the first place, no?

manicbmc · 21/05/2012 22:20

Why bother posting for opinions when you haven't listened to any and just keep going on about the great sex.

There is so much more to a relationship. And with the right person it will be great anyway.

Original poster
singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:20

on first date he did make a joke about murdering his next-door neighbour. he put references to Hannibal Lecter on his profile. He just wants to shock, I'm sure.

OP posts:
jazzchickens · 21/05/2012 22:20

You have asked for opinions.

You have received opinions.

You are now arguing against those opinions.

Why bother?

CanISawItOff · 21/05/2012 22:20

Is your name Gretel?

Do you have a brother Hansel?

Do you like bread?

ledkr · 21/05/2012 22:20

Does he have any odd musical tastes such as Cradle of Filth or Marylin Manson or even Chas and Dave?

Original poster
singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:21

Yeah but its bloody finding the right person. I'm assuming most if not all of you are married. Being single sucks and finding someone is very difficult.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 21/05/2012 22:21

Have you tried knitting him a nice brightly coloured wooly jumper?

hellymelly · 21/05/2012 22:21

I think if you have a bad feeling then you need to listen to it, and cut and run. He sounds really rather silly, how old is he? But also quite strange. Strange in a way that could turn scary. The hammer thing is particularly alarming, and if he is trying to seem dark and dangerous, that in itself is surely enough reason to ditch him, as it is just idiotic, great sex or not.

Original poster
singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:22

yeah but the opinions I'm getting are you thinking I am a troll.

OP posts:
jazzchickens · 21/05/2012 22:22

Jokes about murdering next door neighbour is a standard chat up line.

No need to worry at all.

manicbmc · 21/05/2012 22:23

I was married. It was crap. Then I was single which was better. Now I'm with a lovely bloke.

We've all been single at some point.

manicbmc · 21/05/2012 22:23

And not everyone has said they think you're a troll. But you still ignore the advice anyway.

Nyac · 21/05/2012 22:23

What exactly is attractive about him given his teenage black clothing, his weapons collection and your feeling that he's never grown up?

ledkr · 21/05/2012 22:24

"he is just a sad and lonely attention seeker" Oh well thats ok then Hmm

Do you hear the song jeepers creepers playing on an old gramaphone during your dates?

Original poster
singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 22:24

I miss the intimacy so much it hurts. And no a bloody rabbit is not the same. I have 5. No, 4, one just wore out.

OP posts:
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