Please help me. My partner just shoved me against a wall by the throat and asked if I wanted to seee what murder looked like.

[theincredibequeenofwands]

He stormed out after a while.

I'm really shaken and I don't know what to do.

He was made redudant and is really stressed. I'm working as many hours as I can to make everything okay but he won't apply for jobs. I was looking online for him but and trying to get him interested and he just flipped.

I'm too ashamed to call up a friend and my parent's phone is engaged.

Please talk to me.

:'o(

If the ops dh is having a breakdown surely he needs help. Op absolutely has too be safe. No question police must be called. Note dute why everlong is getting a hard time. Its really bad form and detracts from op. One steps at a time phpne police follow their advice

But she may not be staying with him now he has tried to kill her

Am leaving the thread now - OP I hope you're safe and I wish you all the best.

I'm wondering what 'help' everyone expects this man will be given?

Really? What? V unlikely it's a 'breakdown'...

Last statistics I heard of dom violence murders by a partner were 2 a week.... 2....

Trust me if OP's man is having a breakdown and has flipped, and this is not who he is, he will be picked up by the police as he will probably not be behaving quite right in public places now, and the police will be called and they section him.

It's unlikely though, very. I'm ex police and I cannot remember one single job where an abuser was actually sectioned or having a 'breakdown' ... It's a nice middle class explanation I have found, neat little box to tuck domestic abuse into. makes it sound more acceptable and helps 'keep face'

Op, hope you are ok

"it's not acceptable but"

everlong... should she stay and get something oganised and then he comes home and finishes what he started earlier. she is high risk. getting out and going anyhere is better than being dead. and no that is not dramatic. he had herrr round the throat and theratened to murder her. she needs to go now. there are places to go. she can go to a police station and they will get in contact with a refuge or know of a number to ring. staying is not an option in these circumstances...

The OP is NOT the person to make sure her partner gets help (if that's what he needs).

Being stressed about being unemployed is not a valid reason to do what he did. What he did do is make a valid threat against her, and that is an offence, and something she must take seriously.

Her personal safety, and that of her ds comes first - not HIS.

Olympia, I dont think anybody is really expecting to get the man any help, but persuade the op to seek help so that she may be helped. Many women wont seek help for themselves. They will, however, seek help for their partners if they think their partners may be helped, thus gaining help for themselves.

The OP needs help.

And she has gone to bring her child home. Hopefully the partner wont come home and still be "flipped".

OP, please call the police. They will be able to help you.

How is picking everlongs posts to pieces helping the op?

OP, I'm really worried for your safety and that of your child. Please, if you can bring yourself to do so, report the assault to the police.

It isn't your fault that he did this. It's not your responsibility to excuse what he did to you. Your responsibility is to safeguard your child, and to do that you need to be safe too. At the very least, call your friends/parents and tell them what happened, please. He threatened to kill you .

I'm back now (bloody miles to school and back and I don't drive).

Been in touch with partner. He has apologised and is genuinely ashamed. He's been through a rough patch with work/lack of job offers, I've had surgery and been doing loads of extra shifts (also mildly concerned I'm pregnant) and we have bickered at each other.

Not confdoning his violence but I said some pretty unforgivable things too. :(

Can't believe this has all happened to us.

We're going to give each other some space then talk. I don't hate him or anything. Feeling pretty numb at the minute.

I'm not in danger. I think he just 'flipped'.

I've had depression myself and I work in Mental Health so I do understand how he feels.

Think we may have a rough ride ahead of us though.

Cheers for support guys. I'd have felt really ashamed chatting to RL friends. Is nice to be able to come here and share issues.

I'm glad he is giving you some space. Do think about calling the police , you must have been pretty scared to post on here so don't just brush this under the carpet.

Let him know that he has to get help before he can even think about coming home.

I hope it works out or you i really do

Good luck with everything. I hope you both get the help you need.

Good luck OP. I really mean that but I wish you would get some kind of official notice taken of what he has just done.........................just in case there is will be another time 'he flips'.

He'll need some kind of help.

He's a sound bloke (today aside). This month was his first month without a pay packet since 1994 and he's never been out of work.

I think the situation has litterally blown his mind.

Financially we're sound (savings, redundancy, and I've got the option of grabbing some overtime), I just think that hanging about at home with little to do isn't helping him much.

I'm going to leave him to it for a while. I've got a few days off now and want to spend it doing my own thing.

you sound very sensible queenofwands.

FWIW, DP and I went through a rough patch and he has done similar to me, i did not feel threatened that he would hit me. I wouldn't let him leave because i was scared he would do something to himself. It is part of our past now. We are not perfect by any means, but we are getting there. There has been no more violence. Things can move on, not always, but they can.

You must get out and take your child with you immediately.

OP - I suggest you get this thread pulled it will run and run otherwise with hundreds of people telling you to get your child and leave/run/report to police etc etc etc.

Op - lots of people deal with redundancy. Lots of people have rows about money. Relatively few of those rows end up with one party holding the other around the throat and talking about murder. What happened in your home today was dangerous.

Just be careful ok, very careful.