Please help me. My partner just shoved me against a wall by the throat and asked if I wanted to seee what murder looked like.

[theincredibequeenofwands]

He stormed out after a while.

I'm really shaken and I don't know what to do.

He was made redudant and is really stressed. I'm working as many hours as I can to make everything okay but he won't apply for jobs. I was looking online for him but and trying to get him interested and he just flipped.

I'm too ashamed to call up a friend and my parent's phone is engaged.

Please talk to me.

:'o(

He threatened to murder you, the police would take this seriously and may be able to put you in temporary accommodation.

What are you going to do when you've picked up your son? Bring him back to the house?

everlong nobody is saying it's easy, but is it not ridiculous to stay somewhere where a man may well be coming back who has just threatened murder.

Ring your parents again - they need to know the danger you and your son are in, even if they are far away - at least they can then stay in touch regularly. These 'men' succeed with and continue this behaviour because of the invisibilty, the fact that women are too ashamed and frightened to tell anyone. This is not your fault but you won't get help if you won't ask for it.

And I don't care if he is having a breakdown or is 'stressed' - that's not a reason or excuse to physically hurt someone and threaten them.

I agree. Go to the school. You will not be the first mum they would have seen in your situation, and they will know who to contact. (Or know someone who knows)

Good luck x

Have you got a chain on the back and front door? If not, fitting one is really simple and an excellent alternative to changing the locks.

If you can't do that yourself (don't have the DIY stuff) if you could tell us, roughly, where you are I bet someone on MN could help you out.

Do ring the police. They won't think you are silly, they will take you seriously and will, if you DH is having a breakdown of some kind, look out for him too. But you have to think of yourself and your son first here, you really do.

I'm with everlong it's not always that easy and maybe not what the op wants to do or doesn't feel like she can as her parents are not local.(yes i have been in a simlar situation)

Wands are you ok?

I know you feel shakey and sick and in shock at what has happened.

Please try your friend, i was too ashamed too but when i told my best friend she was great.

Thinking of you.

Go to school, pick your child up, speak to school, call Police and go to your parents or a friends house. Please go now.

I know people mean well telling op to make him leave and bolt doors etc. When someone flips like op's man did, they would put bricks through windows and all sorts to get in the house.

OP has to leave, please don't advise people to stay in such situations, I think you are confused with people staying in a house when there is a split to retain the property, she needs to get out now!

She leaves, she gets her ds and she is alive!

You're right everlong, it doesn't. Which is why people have urged to OP to call Women's Aid and the police.

Leaving is enough. the police will organise temporary safe accommodation.

everlong I'm [shocked] at your last post. Do you know how many women are murdered or seriously injured at the hands of their partners every year? Maybe he does need help, but he's just threatened to kill the OP. How exactly do you think you're helping here?

I don't want to get into a bunfight so will stop this line of conversation now.

Everlong if she stays she might be dead tonight. Maybe I am overly dramatic but surely it is better she leaves than risk being killed.

LadyWithEDS are you in touch with OP?
Is she she leaving?

I'm sorry but you mustn't excuse his behaviour. Regardless of whether he is having a breakdown. As someone else has said, that could make him more dangerous.

Please ring the police. You must report this and you must keep yourself and your child safe.

Notsure no, no idea who op is.

My bipolar father had two nasty breakdowns, where he was very violent like that, you have to run when someone flips like that. They get a surge of strength, rip units off walls and throw then around and all sorts, you have to see it to understand I suppose. A bolt and chain on the door won't stop them when they flip like that.

Everlong, you are coming out with some rubbish. The husband sounds in a bad way. Oh well never mind he just threaten to kill the OP and had her by the throat.

FFS I am leaving this thread. OP I hope you are safe.

I'm in north cambs with a spare room if you need it. Honest.

I've been there no DC at the time though. It is so hard to see the big picture when it is so close. Just take simple life preserving steps suggested here. Leave, with essential documents, phone, money and child's security blanket (if he has one).

Go anywhere but home, friends (they won't mind or judge of they are your friend) parents, hotel or police is up to you.

In time the future and bigger picture will become clearer, but for now you probably can't see the wood for the trees and who could blame you. You're in shock.

Big hugs.

As others have said, if OPs partner is having a breakdown the Police will get him the help he needs (if he needs it) when they find him. IMO OPs priority is to get herself and her son away from danger.

Is this the same partner you split with last year?

Sorry, just namesearched to see if he had form.....if it's the same one and you then got back together then he's never exactly been grace under pressure has he?

I doubt he's having a nervous breakdown. To immediately assume that someone is mentally ill because they are violent fuckwits does a great disservice to those who really are. It's not beyond the realms of possibility of course, but if it walks like a duck etc then chances are it's a duck and not a zebra.

Everlong- what a surprise seeing you advocating a woman stays...who'd have thunk it. He'll get allthe help he needs if he kills her. What do you suggest she do?

This is so, so sad.
The poor lady has asked for help and she's received four pages of totally conflicting advice. Everything from locking herself in to running away and hiding. No wonder she's confused.