Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 4

[CailinDana]

The first three parts of this thread:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

Take care of yourself Coffee x

Understand the need for a break from mn,talking,typing,thinking

For those that are retreating into their own private space and I hope you all are safe, be kind to yourself and go with what feels comfortable for you.

I often read but don't post so semi lurk and post when I have the mental capacity (not much of that ).

Thoughts and strength sent x

Hugs Coffee, hope to see you back soon xx

Hi everyone, just bumping the thread. I hope everyone has had a good evening and you all sleep well x

I've been having a break too - although it wasn't intentional. I just seem to have put everything in a mental box and hidden it down in the mental cellar. I've had to deal with RL stuff and I was just so emotionally fragile, I needed to put stuff away in order to cope. Sub-conciously, I stopped feeling up to posting. I'm sorry it was rude not to say so. I am so full of anxiety right now. I need a certain amount of self delusion/denial to deal with my life at the moment which feels like it's going nowhere.

Dotty hugs and keep strong.

Amito lots of hugs.

Coffee Put yourself first as long as you need to love. And take care of yourself. (That's a command) Just make sure you come back so we can share some more Jammy Jaffas and chocolate cake. (massive hugs)

Cailin hugs.

Hugs to everybody lurkers included.

Hugs everyone including lurkers.

I was just thinking about having thread codes ie

I need sleep - for when you need to rest mentally or physically.

I'm paranoid - for when you feel paranoid --knows that's self explanatory.

I need care - for wobbles

I'm listening - for when you mentally can't post but want to support

I'm here - for support when someone's having a wobble

Any good?

Sounds good Coffee :)

Morning all, how you doing today Coffee? I wasn't really around yesterday felt really ill and tired spent the day in bed until about 4.00.

What was up do you think dotty? Are you feeling better now?

Cailin think I have a uti just trying to flush it out was just so tired and cold.

Ugh I've had loads of utis, they're just horrible. Be careful that it doesn't turn into a kidney infection - if you have any pain in your lower back, get straight to the doctor.

Cranberries, seriously.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, a glass of cranberry juice keeps a uti at bay.

Cranberries flush you out and are very good for you kidneys and always wash straight after sex.

Adding

I want a husband to the list, obviously not for uti's but to take the bloody phone off me :o and to buy me chocolates and drive me to the shops and to give me hugs and to luff me.

DS has had his last exam, just got to wait now :(

How's your day going Coffee?

Coffee can't stand cranberry juice my eldest used to get them all the tine even having to go to A&E with them but drinks cranberry juice now hasn't had one in a while. I've not had one since I was a kid had them all the time and kidney infections. Its not as bad today anyway drank what seems like gallons of juice and little coffee didn't think they could make you so cold and tired though.

ahh posting cos it's triple 6 post, woo alert :o

Cailin, not bad today hows yours? I fell asleep last night at 6pm and woke up at 6am. DS got home from band practice at half 11pm and had a conversation with me he knew I was asleep so covered me in a blanket and switched everything off, aww :o

Dotty, could you try cranberries in food or mixed with raspberry juice? I'm not too fond of pure juice so go for wholeberry sauce instead, or berries in gravy etc any chickeny dish works with them.

My day is ok, though I'll be glad when DH gets back from work. DS's napping is all over the place lately and it's driving me loopy. He didn't go down until nearly 3 today and he's still asleep now which means he'll be late going to bed. He did the same yesterday and ended up going to bed a whole hour later than usual. We seem to have a bad week like this every couple of months or so, when he's developed a bit more and the routine changes in some way. I find it very hard because I get used to doing things one way and then suddenly it's all up in the air again. A small problem, but an annoying one nonetheless.

Aw, I found it really weird when DS stopped napping. How old is yours?

16 months. He still definitely needs a nap it's just very hard to get him down for one. He used to go around 11 which was perfect but now it can be any time at all really - it's been really late the last few days. Once the naps go altogether I think I may go mental. I really need the naptime to get a break and some headspace. God help me if we ever have a second, I'll crack up!

I just wanted to post this for anyone considering reporting their abuse

If you report abuse and it does not proceed to court for any reason, the statements will be burnt after a period of time. Once they have been burnt if the case is ever reopened the defendent will be let off because the court considers it an unfair hearing due to the original statement being destroyed.

The law needs changing! I will never get justice for what happened to me now, no matter what happens in the future, who comes forward as a witness or anything. My statements were burnt before the time period was up, but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to prove they covered it up.

I know this isn't very cheerful but it might help someone.

Anyway take care everyone. Reporting my abuse and speaking out about it has fucked up my entire life. Social services believe my mothers false allegations about the way I treat my children and they don't believe I was abused either. I won't keep depressing anyone with my shit life anymore.

Amitola I'm so sorry to hear this my statements where videoed but it is going further anyway.

What have SS said is it just a case of having to follow up allegations we where fecking investigated 8 years ago CP meetings everything all because of one incident that was reported by fecking school.

I also have the plea date not until end of August though such a long wait.

Amito that's awful

I know that in my own case I got a letter from cps saying that they weren't taking the case further due to lack of evidence.....

......the bloody diocesan solicitor already had a big thick file on him when they were contacted by the police! (He's a vicar) Lying bastards.

And breathe......

That is a horrible situation Amitola, just horrible. The whole thing makes me so angry I really don't know what else to say.

Ami, please don't think reporting has been a bad thing. Yes society is fucked up and doesn't want to hear about these things. Please keep fighting, I'll pm you some one I think can help but you'll need to contact them.

tb, the same, bringing charges against religious members is nigh on impossible, there are so many victims of religious abuse out there not getting help or justice.

I'll be pm'ing Ami and tb let me know you get them, xx

Just checked NAPAC's website, they have a campaign to stop church abuse, I'll link in a minute.