Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 4

[CailinDana]

The first three parts of this thread:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

< hands Coffee tissues and coffee and sympathy>

Just spoken to my sister she's had a hell of a year with work when she texted me the other night she didn't think what day it was had been to my other sister's to try and talk and as usual had turned it around to me me me.

I listened to her and she also apologised told her it was ok was just an emotional day told her she'll probably have the same statement to do which she's fine with. Wish I could be there for her and said the same but she has to work she has said she thinks its a good idea for me to have specialised counselling like the DC suggested. She started counselling through work on Sunday and is now on meds herself but she says she needs closure as well but its worse for me she says told her I don't remember enough she says i've remembered enough for my brain to cope with not to push myself anymore than I have to she's yet another person to tell me that she thinks I'm going through PTSD but I'm coping in my own way.

What comments Amitola?

Don't worry Dotty, think i'll move on for now. Good luck with everything with the court. I hope you get justice.

Amitola, no, not in any way aimed at you at all, and not abusive, I was standing up for myself, I got in a bunfight on another thread and made direct named comments. This may well get deleted too.

Why do you think I would be a) abusive and b) abusive to you?

I wouldn't be abusive to anyone, I hope, and certainly not to anyone here.

I struggle to deal with and help people sometimes and need to ask for help with how to handle it but if I'm offending people I will step away from the thread.

Coffee don't you dare

Amitola, come back or I'll give you a bear hug and force you to eat chocolate cake and sing karioke.

come back Ami, cos we luffs you cries

Dotty, can you pm Amitola, my pm's aren't working!

Already did explained to her you where letting off steam about another thread x

Dotty, can you let me know if she's ok if she answers?

Just came back to say a proper goodnight to everyone and saw the above.

Amitola- I was having that convo with Coffee and I can PM and tell you still nearly word for word what was said and why it was mentioned. I obv can't here as that is against the rules and I went giddy over Coffee's staked claim and forgot netiquette. It was 400% unrelated to anything and anyone here. I promise you that. Coffee would never do that, you know that.

You have a monumental amount of shit to be dealing with right now. You must be feeling at least 10x worse than your words convey. I would gladly be banished from here forevermore to make you feel better than for you to leave when you will be needing the support of these wonderful people that want to support you. I think you know this was not in anyway to do with you.
How it may read with the deleted bits and how exposed, raw and vulnerable you must be feeling right now I think did a lot of the work incorrectly filling in the gaps.

The women here want you to succeed, they believe in your strength, are amazed at what you have gone through for yourself but mostly your children and with the M&S that you have. I am one of them. Why would anyone of us want to do you down in any way?
I hope you come back when you have been able to get some quiet and see how much you are wanted here.

Coffee - FFS woman, don't make me send another fucking pigeon. I'm running out.

Pigeons what have I missed?

Hi guys. My day has ended quite well, DS went off to bed early - I think he's coming down with a cold, poor love, and I had a gorgeous dinner.

It seems like a case of crossed wires going on. I hope everyone knows they're completely welcome on the thread. Amitola do post again if you feel up to it, please.

Night all.

Ooh so the fish and Jersey Royals were good then!

Glad your day has ended well.

Sorry Coffee just came back on. I didn't think you were being abusive, i just skim read something about it and am a little paranoid tonight.
Sorry, will accept bear hug and cake but you don't want me to sing!

You're not fucked up at all, you've been a huge support to me.

Sorry for causing a problem , just has a poor little me moment after a horrible day where I realised I have to prove i'm normal to keep my children.

The bits had been deleted by the time i read through it so i had no idea what it was about. I was just worried i'd offended people by being crap and selfish and wrapped up in my own stuff.

Pigeons, that would be me, again.

No Idea what staked claim or M+S is.

Sincerely apologises to everyone. I have monumentally fucked up, so sorry. I'm beyond belief and can't believe how bad this has gone, so so sorry.

Will you lot stop bloody apologising nowt to be sorry about

hides head in shame

Sorry my inner child had a strop. I will talk to her and put her back where she belongs. Safely under lock and key until social services have deemed me normal. Hahahahaha... yeah can anyone help with that bit???

What's normal everyones different would be a boring world if we where all the same IMO

It's ok it was all my fault, I'm really sorry.

No its not! You didn't do anything wrong at all. I just got crossed, bent and twisted wires because I haven't had chance to keep up with the thread.
Bring back your Jokes and cheerfullness please :)

My adult self is back now. The little one inside is having an 'everybody hates me moment' and I should not have let her type.

I sound crazy, but I know what I mean.

If I knew how I would post those flowers and things but i'm a technological thicko :)

Oh FFS I have just sent you a PM Amitola- so get ready to read what a massive twat sounds like.

Coffee I merely meant you staked a claim to your righteous...feck I don't know what I can say. You were pleased you didn't take it. I got all giddy over your pleasedness.
M&S was mother and sister...unless there is some issue with Marks and Spencer I am not aware of.

Can people please give me a chance to keep up. I can't emote quickly I get the shakes and shits. Now my heart has stopped racing maybe I can catch up.

I'm stuffing cake in my face. Are we all ok now? Because I have limited cake.

So now the internet gremlin lets me post

It's ok, I can't handle situations normally.

Keep posting cos there's so many lovely posters here for you.

I have to leave cos I can't cope with situations properly and don't know how to do things. I wish everyone the sincerest best of luck but I have too many issues to stay. xx

Hi lovely ladies,

Sorry, I went on holiday and forgot to post before I left to say I'd be away!

Having said that, I'm going to take a little break from the thread. I need the mental equivalent of lying down in a adark room with a cold flannel over my eyes, not thinking about anything for a while, so I'm taking a break from MN, newspapers and anything that doesn't involve fluffy clouds for a bit.

Coffee, don't bugger off though - I think you are way overreacting to what Amitola has said herself was just getting the wrong end of the stick, on a bad day. If you're going to wig out and not handle stuff, what better, safer and more understanding place to do it but here? Sending .

See you all in a while,

Berts x

Hi Berts, hope you had a nice holiday. See you around some time soon I hope :)

Hi, I haven't wigged out because of Ami, I've wigged out because of other issues and at the moment I need to attend to myself.

I can't discuss things here at present so will be taking a break to deal with things and hopefully can come back and explain.

I just have to put myself first at present.