Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 4

[CailinDana]

The first three parts of this thread:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

Dotty - lol, I'm sorry just made me chuckle.

Coffee- Squidgy hugs is sadly true I can't lay off the roasties or cake!

That button, preferably huge and red, would be ideal.

Borage tea is good for depression if you're not to depressed to remember to plant them and the flowers are lovely in non alcoholic fruit punches.

Muffin the mule is obviously one!

Nic I haven't really tried any herbal remedies, I don't lay much store in them to be honest. I had severe depression about 4 years ago and at that time I was on ADs and my MIL put me in touch with a homeopath who was helpful but more from the point of view that he used to talk to me for ages on the phone - it was actually a useful form of counselling. I did take some remedies then but I can't say if they helped seeing as I was on ADs at the time. I'm not under the care of any doctor at the moment but I will definitely go straight to the GP if I feel I'm really struggling. It's more that I have the odd weepy day at the moment where I feel strung out more than anything else. I suppose that's to be expected really.

My DH really is brilliant, he gives me loads of time to myself but obviously with it being just the two of us we don't end up having much time off during the week. It's times like this that I do wish my family were close by, but then I remember how shit they are really and I know they wouldn't really be much help. DH's parents visit about once a month but they're rubbish for offering to babysit and even though I've asked DH to broach the subject with them he hasn't.

Watch Coffee he kicks

Cailin - I'm afraid I'm a bit of the 'succesful herbs are what made it into medicine' type. And look quite askance at anything diluted but the actual 'pure' herbs I have had some success with for other things - raspberry leaf, arnica etc. SJW I haven't tried but Milk Thistle was good.
Certainly not suggesting any substitute for real meds if you feel you need them obviously!! Just a possible bit of help with feeling like you need 2 bodies to keep up with it all.
Your DH sounds great. I think having the ability to keep a close eye is the important thing. Are you sleeping badly(-er, than is to be expected)?

One of my favourites is so childish surprise but we get a load of balloons blown up and shove the munder the duvet. Then from the end of the bed fall back and roll around trying to pop them all. It's unadulterated silliness but quite a laugh.
I collapsed in hysterics when I hit my side harder than DH and sent him bouncing off the edge (he was fine and laughing too btw) all limbs akimbo

What is your relationship like with your ils Cailin? Do you feel able to bring it up lightheartedly?

That sounds like a laugh Nic, good to know there are couples in the world who are just as silly as me and DH!

I actually sleep really well, and always have, even when I was depressed. In fact when I was at my lowest point I used to sleep about 20 hours out of 24, it was awful. I'm nowhere near that point at the moment thank god, just feeling a bit blah, you know, where everything seems a bit pointless.

I'm definitely going to start eating more healthily. DH is a terrible eater and I tend to fall into his habits - eating tonnes of meat and hardly any fruit or vegetables - which definitely gets me down over time. I bought a sea bass and some jersey royals for my dinner tonight seeing as DH is out, and I'm really looking forward to that :)

X posted. I have asked them to babysit in the past, in fact I asked them to look after DS for a weekend while DH and I went away for his birthday, and they did it no problem. I just feel awkward asking all the time when I'm not sure if they really want to do it or not. I want DH to bring it up with them and sort of put out the feelers to see what they're willing to do. The last thing I want is for them to feel obligated to do it if they don't feel up to it.

Afternoon everyone x
Really struggling at the moment. Poor dd has been more or less left to her own devices for the best part of a week. I haven't even managed to get dressed today. The lack of sleep is killing me, and the panic attacks are crippling.
I have self harmed twice in the last week. I am so fed up of trying to cope. I just want a normal life. Have well and truly had enough.

Afternoon everyone x
Really struggling at the moment. Poor dd has been more or less left to her own devices for the best part of a week. I haven't even managed to get dressed today. The lack of sleep is killing me, and the panic attacks are crippling.
I have self harmed twice in the last week. I am so fed up of trying to cope. I just want a normal life. Have well and truly had enough.

spends mad half hour popping them, once I covered the kitchen in bubble wrap and DS and I went mad :o will try the balloon bed!

Cailin don't be afraid to ask, they might be unsure to offer because they're not your parents but could well be delighted to have more time with him.

Hugs Nic in an even bigger hug, I LOVE herbs cries I even wrote out a load of herb teas for everyone. Can't stand homeopathy though, think it's nonsense.

Oh no Dontknow, I'm really sorry to hear you're having such a bad time :( What sort of things have been going through your mind?

Hugs Don'tknow, sorry to hear it's so rough atm, have you tried the elastic band trick for the selfharm?

I'm sorry Don'tknow - echo above. Hugs and a shoulder offered.

Cailin - I've got to the point where I think life is as serious as you make it. We've done the adult bits and so who says we can't pop balloons, have helium karaoke, nerf gun/water pistol, food fights or whatever? I have a serious lack of joy and laughter to make up for! I just feel sad now for people that are all up themselves & look down on us - I just think, poor you - what a shame you didn't get the joke. Come on over to the dark side - we like to put marshmellows on our hot choc!!

I agree with Coffee about your ils, maybe it's one of those mutual hesitation dances? Although yes, some DHs are notorious for parental communication, mentioning no names MrNic.

Coffee - those teas sound interesting! Borage you say?

Thanks everyone. I think it's just the lack of sleep. The furthest we've been is to the newsagents for milk, can't even get to the supermarket without having an attack.

Thanks everyone. I think it's just the lack of sleep. The furthest we've been is to the newsagents for milk, can't even get to the supermarket without having an attack.

Lack of sleep is hellish. Would you consider going to the GP? Or have you been recently?

hi everyone, new & old.
I had to dip out of this thread for a while. Its been a bit crazy here in RL and ive had to deal with complicated complaints process against my GPs & local mental health provision. Its been a nightmare. But one good thing has come out of it is that I have been refared to an NHS Consultant Clinical Psychologist for therapy & possible EMDR. I had my first session on Friday & finally i think Ive found someone I can work with. After being past from pillar to post via numerous "psychological well being practitioners" who have done a ten minute course in delivering cbt & nothing more.
I think the threat of taking my complaint to the NHS Health Ombudsmun actually kicked my gp up the arse. Im sure ill have a rant about the lack of care & support me & my family have recieved when I check back in here later. Im due to recieve a full & thorough respose to my complaint on friday, not holding my breath for anyone claiming resposability though. But I feel really good that I followed it through. This is the one time in my life I have refused to let other peoples perception of me as being over-sensative & over reacting stop me from following through & demanding answers. I was also badly treated by the MW team during my last pregnancy & Im gutted I never complained about it.

Dont know if ill get chance to catch up with all the posts ive missed, but i`ll try. 3 weeks without internet!!!

I`ve been thinking about all of you in my absence & hope you are well. Dotty, how are you? Has the been any news with your case? I was contacted by the p[olice last week & it freaked me out & I remembered you & your courage and pulled my self together :)

I have seen the gp Cailin, she's referred me for counselling (which I really really don't want to do) and that was it. Very bloody helpful.

Don'tknow, the gp would be a good idea, even just for a chat, the rubber band works for panic attacks too. Don't beat yourself up too bad, it's ok to veg out occasionally, hugs.

Nic, you can't have hot chocolate without marshmallows. I went tree climbing yesterday and it was fabulous. Borage for courage :o I have a wild elderflower orchard out the back of my house, wild cherry tree orchard across the road and a wild linden tree up the road and a wild garlic field realises I'm in heaven and dies happy

Hi Laminator, good to see you back, sounds like a hectic few weeks! I'm really impressed that you've tackled the NHS about your care - very well done! I wish I had done this in Ireland - my care was appalling.

DontKnow - are you currently on ADs? Do you think they would help?

Hugs TheLaminator, welcome back tis plink so glad you're getting some help.

Don'tknow, please ignore my rambblings, how are you doing? can you get a plan of action and do one little thing at a time? I strongly suggest trying to get to the gp's. Can we help you think out what you need to do to get your needs met to make things easier for you?