Welcome to the Turning Tavern III

[Crushinghard]

A continuation of the TTII thread for women unexpectedly finding themselves attracted to other women.

haha yes he was moaning - good memory (and good point!). But this could be her showing him who's the boss as she is like that. It can still develop into her wanting more of him and she just doesn;t like to lose control so trying to keep it short for now. But I worry that it's escalating. I really hope he's not a mind blowing lover! I think she sees him a couple of times a week now plus phone talks - it's already more than with anyone in recent past. What you say may be right assuming she has feelings for me and not just curious to experiment with a woman sexually. It could blow over with him of course if he's a 'not enough'. I was planning to write after my next visit (not tomorrowas too short but in a week as ther emay be some opportunity then) but now I'm panicking that i should hurry up with the letter!?

just still think if there is a face to face chance (and I know she had drinks at lunch which she does at w/ends) something could be said face to face in a week. But it's a risk - it's been going on a few weeks with him and escalating, can I afford htese delays? no draft yet, but it's not going to be long, no poens either!
you didn't answer my q about your wiq on prev.page btw.

nooo, I wasn't thinking of writing poems, this was just to say the letter won't be lengthy! I love poems but I think it's extremely cheesy to write the first confession in poem form
God, so now you aer on Fb - not a good idea, can be addictive and begative (I'd be jelous too in your place - I'm jelous when she has long chats on the phone with a friend/relative when I NEVER get a really long relaxed chat, though these phone chats aer not frequent). I think lack of makeup can mean she is gay, yes, you know two ladies on this htread (one gay, one bi) said they didn't own a skirt, so the less girly the better but of course there ar all the types, just predominance is for boyish look (even if they don't look boyish facially/figurewise) - but then you said she has lots of clothes, not sure whether that's consistent with boyishness. Does she wear skirts a lot, heels? If you aer looking on FB there must be photos with a partner if she has one - if ther isn't that's good! is there a girl though that she is on photos with a lot? Another thing - short nails aer always a feature of gay women (clean I hope), I've been told, as they use hands a lot in bed (sorry tmi) - but don't have to be TOO short. My wiq always has a manicure but at least mals are not really long.
As to the money - aer they expensive looking? you can buy a lot cheaply on internet etc. Or maybe her parents help her (or bought her a place to llive so she has no rent/mortgage etc to pay).

or you are back ! good news no BF, unless he appeared since. No skirts I think IS encouraging. I don't bother with skirts anymore unless it's very hot, but when i was after men I did wear them a lot, it's just the sexy thing to do with men. Now I just don't feel like them. Obv if a oman hasn't got legs for narrow jeans she may wear long skirts and be gay, but your wiq does sound boyish. Does she wear leather jackets? Heels at work is no sign of anything - they just look smart with trousers. Purely by appearnces she could be bi if not gay. Obv again no guarantee, lots of straight women wear mainly trousers if they find skirts difficult. But in hte evenings/partying I'd say straight women do try to wear skirts. Do you dress in similar style yourself? fb is a very bad habit - thank God she doesnt update a lot, or I'd be really sorry for you as you could be on it all the time (please don't if she starts being very active there).!

Lots of tops - kind of shows certain restlessness, she can be the type who gets easily bored. Or if theu are artistic clothes, maybe she channels creativity that way.

oh, not 'or'! I'm off to sleep now too. Will likely see her but won't be chatting as she's busy tomorrow.

outmy, good luck for today!

hi outmy - sorry about all this! the worst thing is that you beat yourself COMPLETELY unfairly! you haven't killed anyone, and even without the dramatics, what have you actually done that's bad?? she's encouraged you in the past, behaved odd recebtly etc - and she srewed up her head with that behavoiur and most of all lack of honesty/openness whe nyou apologised last time. Don't forget you DID apologise and I can't see why is it seen as devious to come and collect children, I'm sure it was NOT obvious. On the other hand even if she thought you still had some feelings - what a crime! = why should htey evaporate? you haven't pushed her into anything and hardly approachher, it's YOUR business what you still feel as it doesn't harm her in anyway. I still don't think that she seen it as deliberate anyway, as you don't do this frequently (pick up someone's child) - why do you think this? when you apologised yo usaid ypou won't ask her for anything else/she should see you as a friend but you didn't tell her you have no feelings left, it's not something people control but you do control how (very carefully) you behave. So please stop blaming yourself. It's life, feelins happened and she obviously lowred your self esteem to the pint that you always blame yourself. Also - we still don't know whether she's in r-ship now (I suspect that she is) so she'd reject anyone in this case.

'your head (not her head)

another thing is - there was someone else there - annoying! the way she so blatantly didn't talk to you is again because of this paranoia of how couldit look to others - she did agree to be friendly didn't she? and she wasn't friendly to you today - it was rude not to have even small talk! s she is the one who's not kept the agreement also - in fact obviously more than you (you would only be fiendly anyway, nothing more, unless she wanted more). You aer just very unlucky that your wiq is not the nicest person around !

no you can't say it was just you who made a couple of subtle steps - she actually came and talked to you first and was smiley etc. You walked past and yesterday sounds like you didm't even talk (she can't know for sure that your friend hasn't asked you to pick up their child) - so you did two small things, whereas she came and talked to you (bigger step) so why are you saying you came across as horrible? this could be steps to nbe friendly but as I say, even if you still had feelings you never told her you stopped feeling things - it's understandble that you may still have feelings - but you haven't DONE anything umpleasant or damaging, and al the TWO steps you'd ve done were very meek and gave her the choice to respond or not! That's why I say if course you aer beating yourself up - you are nor devious or untrustworthy, and if she was really honst and direct recently you wouldn't have wondered whether tere is still something - so she s contributed to your behaviour (and state of mind) - she could have said when you apologised that 'I don't think we can be friends' or 'please understand that I'm with someone ekse/not interested in case you're unsure - te thinkg is she showed no kindmess at all and feelings aer NOT a crime.

so why couldn't she tell you oast time this directly nut KINDLY instead of thinking 'f* off!'? I wouldn't behave like that - if I saw someone was suffering and comfused I'd make sure I explained in a black and white way to them that I'm not interested (even invented a BF if need be). Also why the hell couldn't she face just a small talk? All you'd say [robably is 'how aer you' so she could ve been polite but distant so you get the message - it was extreme to stand elsewhere, and not consistent with initiating the talk earlier with you (i.e. how weere you to know she doesn't want to talk with you this time if she seemed to be happy before??)

not really - she could have been blunt verbally (bit calm and nice) when yo apologised - couldn't she said 'I understand but please know that I'm not available/involved with someone) just to draw a line. Instead she was not saying much then coming to talk and smile, so it was NOT very clear. And she was the onme starting things in te first place in the past, she should have some blame for leading you on. You say maynbe she didn't but her behaviour was noticeably flirty then, you aer not blind, and can see how she behaces with others.

did she not even say 'hi' yesterday? extremely rude then. It could of course be that the other teacher is her friend and they got absorbed in some talk, so possibly you aer over reacting. Did she know in advance that you would be coming to collect both children?

I know what you aer saying - but she AGREED to be friendly, and she is not being friendly. Your pursuaing was so mild and unobtrusive that she couldn't be angry - she could either explain patiently that she's not single or nothing could ever happen but be direct and nice with it, or if she agreed to be friendly then she should allow for some chat and you 'hovering' which you were not doing much at all! as i said she must allow for the fact that you still may feel smth but obviously you wre not REALLy trying it on or pushing her it was just some mild attenpt at contact, fgs! She is not interested, ok, but she has NOT behaved very well i.e. encouraged you in the past and then have not been direct in black and white way recently. You didn't statr anything for a long time and she was giving you nasty looks so what was that about? can she really be abgry when she kept confusing you? I don't think she IS necessarily angry unless you could see it yesterday - maybe she's just showing you no interest, but not angry (ansd has nor right to be after all that weird behaviour).