He's effing done it again

[Intrum]

To make a long story short, DH has spent ALL our money on fruit machines so we can't pay our rent or bills this month.

This is the third time he's done this during our six year long marriage and I'm livid.

I hate him so much, not giving him another chance this time. I had a minor panic attack lying on the floor shaking and my legs wouldn't work, we're definitely looking ar divorce.

Now, I'm gonna have to find a way of paying rent this month and don't know what to do!!!!! How am I gonna come up with this money? I had just transferred my share of rent and bills yesterday and it's gone! Got 300 left in my account but that's it, don't want my kids to get homeless? Do I take a payday loan? Postpone rent until I get paid? Do you think I can take a loan from my bank?

I'm so upset, hate him so much, but need to focus on not making me and the kids homeless rather on what an idiot he is!!!!!

Work went well, no tears.

Still hate and despise husband. He says he's trying to find help but he's not really. Like he can't be bothered.

Not your problem, Intrum. Not for now, anyway. Have you been looking for options to pay the rent today?

Husband got a payday loan and gave it to me. Not the best solution but better than not paying rent. Taking the Xbox and games to a game shop tomorrow.

Well Intrum, as long as you are married, that debt will be your responsibility too. And if he has such a cack-handed way with money that he thinks he can just gamble away the family money and take loans that carry a 3000% interest, it really is in your interest to get rid asap.

Out of interest, how big loan did he take, just enough to pay rent, or a bit extra in case he could "win some money back"?

Well done! Stay strong. His problem. Have you called all the benefit agencies?

£400 to cover rent.

He always stays clean for a couple of weeks after an episode so I'm not worried he is going to gamble again now but know he will do eventually if he doesn't get himself help. I really hope he'll sort himself out. Not sure he will.

I've got the day off Friday so will sort benefits then.

He took out a payday loan?

So now you are on the hook for paying that back at an exorbitant rate of interest?

FFS what a useless tosser. He probably thinks you should be grateful for this latest bit of gobshitery.

Next time he gets a loan like this he'll probably gamble it all away, now he knows it's a way of getting his hands on money.

You need to sort out a legal separation of finances as a matter of urgency.

This guy will ruin you.

Can't you see how he's dragging you down?

How on earth can you have any respect for human garbage that would rather have the juvenile thrill of a few hours gambling rather than pay the rent for the roof over his family's head.

The previous poster is spot on - you need to seprate from him financially as a matter of urgnecy.

While I was at it I'd also seprate emotionally by booting the useless piece of shit out now.

I know.

Just to briefly point out that being married does not make you liable to pay his debts. If he took out the payday loan in his sole name then it is his responsibility alone. That said, you do urgently need to ensure you have a bank account in your sole name and that your income is paid in there (sorry if you have already done this, skimmed thread). Now that you are separating you should also be able to add a notice of dissociation to your credit file. You may also wish to ask the credit reference agencies about adding a CIFAS alert to your file - this is free and will flag up any further credit applications in your name for full manual checking.

Maybe she wont be responsible from a legal perspective, but who will be responsible for sorting out this mess when next month he cant pay rent because the interest on the pay day loan was too much for him? Who do you think that would be responsible to sort it, if not legally then practically to ensure the family eats or has a roof above their heads?

If she separates her finances by booting him out and claiming housing benefit she won't be relying on his wages to pay the rent.

Good to know, Communist

"If he took out the payday loan in his sole name then it is his responsibility alone."

That's a pretty big if for a man who has tried to take out debt in the OP's name 10 times already this year.

Have you seen the loan agreement, Intrum?

My Ex did this, and am so so so glad to be divorced now! They dont change, really they dont. I stood outside the arcade where he was gambling all our rent/food money on fruit machines, I was begging him to stop & come out. He would not, even when he looked at our baby :( I gave him umpteen chances, he abused them all. Now me & my 2 DDs are extremely happy, the weightthat lifted when I finally got rid was immense! They never have to go without now, and dont have to live with the stress that was forever present - and yes, kids so pick up on it even if you think they dont!

Whose card details are on the loan agreement?
Yours?

Are you paying back this loan?

If so, be aware that the card details will be kept on file, and by default YOUR card will be debited for each loan he takes out in the future. Very clever. It is in the small print.

Oh NO -- a payday loan is the absolute worst 'solution' to this. What did he use for collateral?

You have GOT to get to your local CAB (or a free half hour with a solicitor, whichever can be done sooner) and find out how to go about the financial and legal elements that must be sorted out here. Then you have to do the sorting. You simply have to.

Wake up!!! You are being robbed blind.

Try to phone your local CAB tomorrow and see if you can get an appointment for Friday. You urgently need to get advice on how to legally separate your finances from his. Well done for not crying at work btw. You sound like you're holding it together really well.

It's not right to tell the OP that he is lying about what the GP said, it could well be the truth. NHS services exist in most areas for depression, anxiety and substance addiction but not for gambling addiction or other addictions. A GP could give information on 12 step or relevant charities but not all are sympathetic or want to take the time to look into signposting information. If the H says he is actively suicidal due to this, the GP would be obliged to make a referral to the local mental health service for assessment but he would probably just get medication and not treatment.

Sorry you are going through this OP, good luck with staying strong. You might find this forum helpful www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/index.php

Eurostar our point was that while a GP might not have NHS resources to refer the lying cheating bastard OP's DH to, he would not have sent him away empty bloody handed! DH would have been given some advice as where to go next. If you go to the GP with a toothache, you'd be told to try a dentist!!