Do i leave the kids????

[sunshine2709]

I am currently living in London with my partner (planning on getting married in December), our two year old son and one year old daughter. I recently got accept to a University back home in Scotland so i will have to move back home for sometime.

My partner no longer wishes to relocate even though we discussed it before i applied. So the problem is he wants me to keep the children here with him while i go to study.

From were i will be studying it's around 12hrs on bus away from London. He has said we will see each other every weekend and on holidays.

I would like people to be honest...
Does this sound reasonable? or should i take the kids? (this will make our relationship finish)

If i did leave the kids and in the future something went wrong would i still have rights to my children?

I want this to work but i don't want to lose my kids in the long run.

PLEASE help i would like to try this as love my family but i would love your advice and honesty.

HELP PLEASEEEEEE!!!

HEY EVERYONE

ANY HELP WOULD BE GREAT!!! :D THANKS.

How old are they? How will they be cared for if he's out at work etc?

Are they his children?
Personally I would apply to a nearer placement

I would never leave my children and if you went on to split up then he would have a very strong case for being the RP. Would you be prepared to only see them every other weekend forever? I could never take that chance.

Take them with you and leave him behind.

How long are you going to bs studying for? Why Scotland? Why does your DP now not want to relocate?

Does this sound reasonable? or should i take the kids? (this will make our relationship finish)...this comment stumped me..why would you finish...

do you expect your relationship to end as i am reading between the lines here..
if this is the case i would not leave my children..ask for a uni place nearer home

Couldn't do it myself.

Why would the relationship finish if you take them with you?
Could you do half each, so you take them for a week, he has then the following week? They're below school age so perfect time to do it?

What will he do for childcare if they stay with him?

Can you not get a place at Uni in London? Whilst you will have to pay (which is why, I presume, you were heading up to Scotland) you might find that the transport and accommodation costs outweigh the benefits.

I can't see how you could cope without the kids for the duration of your course.

Why has he changed his mind - is there a good reason for staying in London? If there isn't, don't stay and he can join you in Scotland if he wants to continue the relationship.

Depending on arrangements concerning childcare etc etc how is this different to those families where one parent works away all week and is just back for weekends?

Apply for a nearer Uni.

There are literally hundreds of uni's between London and Scotland; not least the open university. What's the course?

Apply to a closer uni (in London would be good).

If you take the kids but DP doesn't go who will look after them while you are at uni?!

Why doesn't your DP want to relocate now?

Makes no sense to me I'm afraid - you're planning on getting married and have kids together? Why would you then want to move to Scotland and be away from your family? Can't you go to uni somewhere else?

And if it's that important for you to study in Scotland, why has your future DH now changed his mind?

Why has he changed his mind?

Ha just reread op and saw ages .

What would he do for childcare?

Your children are only one & two i cant contemplate why you would want to leave them at such a young age so far away?
If you were to leave them & then want them back he would probably win custody as he would have been the main carer.
Imo i would rather find a placement nearby than walking out on my kids because in a way that would be what you are doing

If you leave your children for the extended time you describe there is no avoiding the fact it will drastically alter your relationship with them.

And be under no illusion that your weekends will be free to enjoy all with the family you will be doing work for your degree too unless you work like a demon in the week and have time between lectures.

If he stays in London with the children is he working? In which case who will be looking after them?

I am amazed that after saying he will support the move he has withdrawn that in preference to staying put and the expense of the childrens relationship with his mother... so what is his reason for changing his mind? - it'd have to be good!

It seems a very odd situation he has put you in.

(((o)

I wouldn't be leaving the kids, I'd look for any other solution but, for me, that would be non negotiable.