The Dating Thread - Part 12. How NOT to lose the will to live. Sense of humour essential!

[TimeForMeAndDD]

Good morning everyone! Had to start a new thread as the old one is no longer receiving posts.

Fill yer boots!

Zany that's great news gives the rest of us some hope!

I'm probably too emotionally available . I wear my heart totally on my sleeve, am an open book, and I always expect too much of people ie see the histrionics this week because the Scot hadnt phoned when I thought he should. And yet again I wonder why I am single...:)

Snape the pay thing sounds a nightmare. I hope you can sort something out with your landlord, so wrong of your employers to put you in that position though. The promixity to financial peril is one of the scary things abour being on your own, I've been missed off the payroll before now but it was when I was still with the Evil Ex, so we managed. Could cause real probs if it happened now.

Well done zany you give us all hope. Maybe Mr more than friends (get how o changed from just friends) will me as happy as you sound.

Hello :)

Have dyed my hair (in a bid to disguise the grey hairs rather than anything extra exciting, like neon pink).

Am hoping it doesn't rain too much tomorrow as date involves some being outside. Will have umbrella though :)

Need tp get DC from school and then XH will pick them up later. Will be quite nice to have an evening to myself tbh.

noluck - Key Performance Indicator - an aspirational goal or required performance goal.

Zany - Way to go! The offer's still there though... if it's not working steal his yacht and pop 35°19'32"S 138°26'48"E into the GPS I'll be waiting on the beach for you. We can sort out customs and immigration later.

hates - I have the same problem. I'm incredibly trusting of people and once I decide I like/trust someone I'm a completely open book and wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm sure it scares the crap out of people and probably comes across as needy, but from my side it's just me saying I like you heaps and I trust you.

at GPS

I think there is nothing wrong with wearing your heart on your sleeve as long as your radar manages to cover up your sleeve for undesirables

Just popped in to say congratulations Zany. Hope it works out for you all.

oh, I love Zanys story

I am seeing mr lovely again tonight and am even more excited now.....

I tend to only tell people the wounds I can deal with being opened again. Just told someone messaging me from the internet dating that I am not dating anymore, right or wrong, I am not a slapper.

MLM I cant help wondering what are your criteria for being a 'slapper'...? :)

I love Zany's story too but it doesn't give me hope. It brings me out in a cold sweat at the thought of sharing my bed with a man, waking up to dribble and pillow face, smells and noises....

Hope you aren't implying I am one. someone who is seeing someone and sleeps with loads of other people without the person they are seeing's knowledge. I am fiercely loyal. I am a good girl me (do not comment on that)

I cannot believe how many sexually frustrated males there are on OK CUPID. (And females)

I have been messaging a guy who lives some distance from me and we had a lovely, long phone conversation the other night.

However, as I have been in an abusive relationship before, I am always looking for red flags. Here are mine:

He said that he would be annoyed if he turned up and I sent him packing straight away. (WTF; I mean that goes without saying) Is it a pressure tactic? I mean we get on ok online and he looks fit but IMO I can only tell if I fancy someone when I see them in the flesh. I don't know if he's joking or what.

Also he has different days off from me and he said he could come up on a Sunday evening but I would then feel under pressure to let him stay over night.

We have both stated that we would sleep with a person on the first date if we couldn't keep our hands of them but it feels like he already assumes that I fancy him when in reality I like to see the person in the flesh before I jump them. He looks yummy online and we do get on really well but there is just these little niggles.

He has stated that he has a high sex drive on his profile and so do I but if so, why dosn't he want a dp nearer him so he has easier access? If anything did happen between us it would purely be a fling.

When I asked him how it was going to work due to distance and different days off he said I am over-analysing. Well am I?

Hi Im back sorry I havent been on for a bit internet has been funny.
So he asked me out and we are going out on a date tonight!!!!
I feel a little bit sick!

I am looking elsewhere I should hasten to add. (Bangs head against wall and looses will to live!)

He has agreed taht the Sunday night idea is a bad one but he seems very keen to get in the sack straight away which is ok but I think we need to at least go for a drink first!

of course not mlm!! but in those circumstances I'd say the term 'cheat' would do:)

All that would put me off toptramp, he sounds like he is pushing you. You obviously don't feel comfortable with it ir you wouldn't be posting on here. What does your gut tell you to do? Meet him or perhaps delay things until you have exchanged more messages and you have sussed him out a bit more??

agree with Time, anyone who mentions that he'd get annoyed is to be avoided, if a bloke who lives a long way away wants to meet you he'll have to accept the possibility that you may not want to take things further.

In fact I make a point of telling anyone I meet that there will be no sex on first meeting, even if I fancy the bloke I like to go away and think about it...I like to give my spidey senses time to kick in:)

There have been times when I thought a bloke was ok then the next day I just changed my mind and decided I didnt want to see him again.

Anyone who tries to put you on the spot of make you feel that you are obligated to shag him is bad news in my book!

i may be nuts.
I have agreed to date a very strange man tomorrow afternoon.
The profile pic was very good looking until he started messing it about on photoshop ( its changed 3 times in 2 days) his profile is totally blank. All i know is hes a year younger than me and 6'2. Supposably.
His messages are either written by somone stoned, or drunk or trying to be clever and its getting lost on the internet. Comes across as a meandering mind.
I was perplexed, and bemused and agreed to a date because, well, im childfree tomorrow afternoon, have no other plans, and despite all the reasons why i shouldnt go, im curious.
says she who goes on dates with buddists as an experiment

Maybe the fact he is prepared to travel a long way for the date means he is expecting to have sex. He does seem to think it's a given and I'm afraid you have told him you are open to first date sex, he is probably sure he is going to get it. Personally, I would cancel. I wouldn't see this one.

Have to agree no man should expect towe should be allowed to surprise them,i and would be a no, for me. Says she who takes the initiative, like ny friend said, how are men supposed to know what we think or feel of we don't do something to show them? Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them ny phone sock says so.

Oops, that was to toptramp

watch his profile is crap but his picture is hot and I do think he was trying to be clever with his messages, which could indicate some form of intelligence so yes, go. He seems harmless enough, and he was polite in that he told you he was going offline, that counts for a lot in my book, manners, you can't beat good manners!

politeness is a big GREEN flag:)

Gorgeousness is an even bigger green flag, politeness and gorgeousness is a MAHOOOSIVE green flag!

Right, let's have bets on what he really looks like

and hes said hes very excited to meet me.

a quick google finds his twitter ( locked, bugger) and various other things, same user name and i now know his surname... going to check out fb, do love abit of stalking.

Im expeting either someone fit as hell and funny and clever, or someone so absolutley awful i dont even want to think about it. its going to be all or nothing i think.

im a little bit excited too.. i dont even know why.