The Dating Thread - Part 12. How NOT to lose the will to live. Sense of humour essential!

[TimeForMeAndDD]

Good morning everyone! Had to start a new thread as the old one is no longer receiving posts.

Fill yer boots!

rent already a week late. Not like he's going to evict me at the very very worst it will be there on thursday (presuming I get a claim put in today..)

milk it just post sex hormones attacking you emotionally. maybe if you tell yourself it's OK to feel a post coital adoration, but that it's only to do with hormones and thats why you feel like that, then you can quantify it to yourself and then neatly parcel it up and let it go away in it's own good time.

And supplementary to watch's bit... You meet someone and they make it clear sex is off the table in the short term. You accept that and be your nice charming self, which leads them to changing their mind and putting the word on you. You give them an out reminding them what they said a few hours ago. You have sex. You text or ring next day saying you enjoyed the date and would love to see the person again soon. You hear nothing for several days. If you do get a return match you try to be your nice self and talk about anything other than sex because you don't want them to think that's all you're after. You either never hear from them again or if you do and you try to plan more dates they come up with a range of excuses or the dreaded friends talk. My Oasis/PoF friend who was doing my head in started off texting me with a straight up request for a booty call, then that same night said we should do something every week or so and see how we go, then she went quiet, then she said she wanted me to ask her out for a date because "it's not just about sex". Life would be so much easier if we were all issued a crystal ball at the onset of puberty.

you have lived there for a while, is the landlord not understanding at all, could you make a part payment?

lidly weekly shop is more than do able, i dont need cleaning/ washing/ toiliteries. have a ton of pasta/ rice/ couscous.. freezer and spare freezer outside are full. so its just fresh stuff really. Plus dd is at her dads so its actually only food for 5 days :)

google frozen planet rock stealing penguins, its just fab. dd was most confused by your hamster on a piano thing - lol

already cleared out my savings to make a part payment. he's generally quite understanding, but I'm pushing it, i think.

rock stealing penguins is adorable. :)

Snape hope you manage to sort it. Oh, and I don't think you are emotionally unavailable. You might not have been bothered by the sexual antics of your ex but you would certainly be bothered if PM began a relationship, that indicates that your emotions are in good working order

ah - arse then. Thing is, its not even your fault.
Which is what makes is worse, its not like you have squandered it all on rum and fast men!!!
Expenses annoy me too. because they assume people have a buffer or money. Could you not speak to them and explain that you dont and either need it paying straight away, or the funds up front? ( i had to have a smiliar talk to my work, and they werent anythng like your amount)

i luffs those rock stealing penguins.

she just sounds mixed up and confusing popparob..how exasperating for you!!

Hi Poppa. Well, if you can manage to meet me after work 3 weeks on Tuesday for a coffee we could see if there's any 'spark'. I'll only be able to stay for an hour mind because I've got loads of work to prep for the following day

I'm undecided on the emotional unavailability front. Although I'd line to think I'm emotionally available, in practice I'm only available to men who aren't iyswim. My friend thinks it's so I don't really have to let my guards down.

Milk - I know what you mean about the difference between meeting up and shagging. I actually finished with mr Eum at Christmas because, whilst the shagging was physically fantastic, I knew that for me there was an emotional element that wasn't there for him. I didn't see him
At all for three months, but have shagged twice in last two weeks . We've not been out of contact for more than 48 hours in 3 years. Most of it instigated by him, sigh.

Anyway, have just arranged a cinema trip with mrfit&intelligent. Straight from work though so definitely no shagging on cards because a) haven't shaved legs (or anywhere), b) wearing v unsexy jeans jumper and boots c) haven't changed sheets after mr Eum spent the night (waynetta slob) and d) just had cheese and very oniony sarnie!!

Snape - sorry to hear of the money worries. I'm sure the ll will be ok if you explain the circumstances though.

the fact that I would be bothered if PM started a relationship (the last one I actually burst into tears at work and had to run and hide in the toilets, thanks for telling me by text you chump!) just means I'm emotionally screwed up. I think unavailable is a preferable state of affairs! :)

poppa that does sound awful. people, ugh! I like the idea of enhanced google-glasses which have text hanging over someones head that gives youa brief over-view so you don't have to ask or guess. :)

Oops - xposted with everyone there!

Hiding we usually attract what we are feeling at the time so the fact you go for emotionally unavailable men would signify that you yourself don't really want to become too deeply involved. Or, maybe you like the drama that being with an emotionally unavailable man brings. My ex was EU, at the time it suited me I think because I loved being single, didn't really want to get deeply involved with someone. The problems came when I changed and he didn't. I got 'into' the relationship and making it work, he didn't. Bloody hard work it was!

I think that's it really. My exh was very 'closed' emotionally as well so was never demanded that level of intimacy. I did that whole 'getting into' it thing with mr Eum. Started off as fwb in fact, but was skewed because I could (and did) really open up to him.

I'm definitely not making myself available now because all my dates are 10 - 16 years younger than me. More importantly, in a different life place as I know they'll all want to settle down and start families at some stage. It makes it really easy for me to keep it casual

You know, I was with my ex for 11 long hard years and the day I left I didn't know much more about him than I did the day I met him. He knew everything about me. He rarely shared anything emotionally. He didn't like parting with his money either!

I am emotionally available by the sounds of it, we share our problems, and past, well most not all of it. Some things are only just returning.

"Poppa" - sorry but my English is getting terrible, what does KPI mean...
I actually like being on my own but my libido takes a terrible amount of room...and never accept scraps, you're worth more than that.

please read Poppa and not "Poppa"....

plus Friday lunch is wine-bar lunch...

Hi you big bunch of chatterbox's

Trying to catch up so sorry if I've missed anyone out.

WatchHave you had a date with the builder? how did it go?

Time your sounding very chirpy these days, glad to see things are good for you after 11 long hard years your ex

You don't come across as emotionally unavailable at all Snapes

After seeing your summary Poppa it seems as though she messed you around quite a bit how dare she. How are things now?

I am feeling pretty good right now. Mr Yacht has moved in. Some people may think its too soon but at 38 I know how I feel. I've never felt this strongly before, completely in love and the sex is still unbelievably amazing, my dc's are happy, met all his family and they are lovely. The only down side is that there are 4 DC's in the house between almost 2 to 11 years which is a challenge but its now all the time, just 1/2 nights at the weekend.

Mr Yacht!!!

I'm really happy for you both Zany! :)

Congratulations Zany I hope it all works out well for you.

But 4 DC's! You must be mad woman! Either that or the sex really is that good!

Fantastic news Zany. I joined your story late, so could you bear to remind me how you met Mr Yacht?

wow, congrats Zany, I remember reading about Mr. Yacht. Totally agree with T4M, enjoy....

meant to say its not all the time.

Yes to both Time

I am one of 4 so love being part of a big family, doesn't necessary mean it will be easy though (almost said 'won't be plain sailing')

We met on OK Cupid Post 6 months ago, I was seriously hungover on our first date as I had been out the night before. He was very quiet and shhok my hand when the date was over so I didn't think he was interested. It really works between us and I can talk to him about anything, even my stupid worries. Dating sites can work although I kissed a few frogs along the way

Well, luckily DCs are not little for long, so you will only have the stress for another, what, 18 years