The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Staying Springy In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse I have an shockingly abusive relationship with alcohol, mainly vodka.

This Bus is full of drinkers, non-drinkers, thinkers and Babes, all trying to find their way to a happy, sober life.

Some are there, some are almost there and some are not. It really doesn't matter, we're all in this together.

Why not find a seat? Everyone is welcome, drinking or drunk, come and say hello.

HERE is the previous thread, with a link to all of the other wonderful journeys so far............

tipple for me, it's not only about what goes into your body, it's what goes on in your head.

So on a night when you would normally drink, how would you feel if your mastercard / visa / whatever wasn't working and you couldn't buy your planned bottle - would you feel cheated and panic stricken, or would you feel OK and maybe miss it out for that week? If you bought 2 half bottles instead of a full bottle, would there ever be a time when you stopped after half? Would you consider occasionaly buying a bottle of 5% alcohol wine, rather than the full 13% stuff? When you have other social activites and then drink less at home, is it a struggle at all? Have you always had 2 bottles, or has it increased over the last couple of years?

I think only you will know if your drinking is, or is likely to become problematic. Why don't you try varying the routine and see if it bothers you (the 5% alcohol bottle might be an interesting one to try). I say good on you for giving it some thought, this is a great time to make sure you maintain good habits around your drinking.

Good news about the ECG hope. Lots of B vitamins, I guess - vitamin B gets seriously depleted when we drink. There's a whole range of B vitamins and they do really important things like cell repair and regeneration (so your skin / hair should improve when you stop drinking); nerve cell functioning (so eventually people become less jumpy); neurological repair, so fewer mood swings. You can get lots of the B vitamins from eating a good healthy diet too - wholegrain bread, leafy green veg like spinach or broccoli, eggs, liver. Most cereals have added vitamin B, so a bowl of cereal and some milk is a good thing.

I'm so glad that you're getting some help.

I've made a decision; I'm not going to drink today. I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow. I'm going to break this cycle. I'll let you know how I get on!

Venus Your post definitely confirms to me that I have a problem. I would panic if I couldn't obtain wine, I would not stop after a half bottle, I would not buy anything less than 12% wine (11.5% I might have if there was nothing else) and social activities cause me stress because I am worried I will get drunk and make a fool of myself.

Carrie good luck - sounds like a good plan.

Hopefully so glad to hear your ECG was fine and that you have been given the meds/vits.

Reminds me of when I went to the nurse for a check up and she said I had high blood pressure. Turned out to be a false alarm but it really made me worry about the effect drink was having on my body.

good point about the hair - just recently every time i look in a mirror i see a shiny black shit-zu looking back at me off for school run.

Thanks Babes!

Apparently (or so I have been told) 50% of attendees at blood pressure clinics have a drink problem. There is a high, high correlation between drinking and hypertension.

Greyhound, yes you're right about the slippery slope and I'm aware of it. I used to drink considerably more when I was younger and in a very sociable job so I'm actually drinking less that I did before.

Venus you make some good points. How would I feel if I was denied my bottle on a night I planned to drink? Disappointed I suppose but not panicy and I sometimes only drink once in the week and sometimes not at all. I don't really plan when I'm going to drink, but I do tend to stick to the two bottles a week max. I will admit however, to knowing how much I enjoy my wine and this makes me wary and aware of the pitfalls. I just hope I can avoid them.

Hello Tipp, I think someone here once suggested you try doing everything you normally do in one month but without alcohol. If you struggle with that then chances are you have a dependency on some level.

Carrie good decision . Keep in touch with us this evening and if you have any wobbles just call for help x

Hi Solitary - you sound fine, tbh. What's wrong with enjoying wine in a way that is healthy and enjoyable?

Tbh, I don't know why some people can drink healthily and others just can't. I think it is probably genetic and, if one is genetically predisposed towards addiction, then that addiction gene will find something to focus on be it gambling, food, shopping, drink...

No one starts out drinking a bottle of brandy in the morning just to cope with the day but some people end up that way. I would say that I am a functioning alcoholic in that I don't drink during the day and I can function fairly well. It's just the evenings that are the trigger for me.

I think the word 'trigger' is vital when talking about addiction - every addict has their trigger, that place/time/situation that kickstarts the cravings. For me, it is the evenings when I can relax and watch tv.

To add to the situation, I have bipolar and have had mental health issues all my adult life. Add drinking to that and the mix is a very dangerous one.

Take care. One thing about this place is that no one will judge you. We admit all sorts of things here that, elsewhere, would see us flamed and hounded. I've put my child to bed drunk, others have driven drunk, others have turned up to work drunk or alienated friends and family. I have been passed out drunk whilst my child slept upstairs and my dh drove our party guests home. Awful behaviour but that is the nature of this illness.

Welcome Solitary

Well done Hope. I saw my GP this week and am on day 1 of new anti-depressants and I'm knackered, I have a blood test on Monday and will see whether I've given my liver a kicking. I'm shitting myself that I've managed to do some real damage and won't be able to recover.

I'm not going to drink tonight. But I may need you lovely Babes to help me stay away from it...

You can do it Sunny - you'll feel even more crap if you drink whilst your body's trying to adjust to the new ADs. Give yourself a chance!

The liver is a fantastically regenerative organ, even if you've got raised enzyme levels then they can normalise again quite quickly if you stop drinking.

Well, the local shop is now closed, I have no alcohol in the house, and I have no way of getting any alcohol as I have both DDs with me - so I'm dry for the evening :o

I feel remarkably calm, actually. I've eaten a big bowl of pasta and drunk lots of fizzy water, and I'm now making a rather OCD to-do list for the evening. I'm so looking forward to waking up in the morning feeling smug rather than wretched.

Note-to-self - keep it up!

Well done Carrie! Good for you!

Sunny and Carrie stick with it! :o

I am not drinking tonight either, went to a meeting earlier, and got some numbers. I'm trying to change my routine slightly, so that some of the triggers aren't as strong. I am also drinking fizzy water with ice - it's not a drink i'd normally have, so that feels different. I'm avoiding the kitchen as much as possible - have just given the boys tea - as that is a place I strongly associate drinking in. I keep popping up to my room for 10 mins occ. to take a few deep breaths, and will be on and off here tonight. I'm going to have a long bath in a minute, and I'm going to do some knitting.

I'm getting the odd craving, and thoughts, but it feels manageable. I am looking forward to waking up in the morning, rather than just regaining consciousness :o

All I have to do, is to get through today.

NEWS FLASH

I have important, groundbreaking news to impart....DRINKING MAKES YOU FEEL SHITE.

So I 'did' 18 days of sobriety then drank like a fish yesterday at a wedding and felt like death this morning.

However I feel positive because the 'old me' would have 100%, drank tonight - 'hair of the dog'/'it's Friday'/dh cooking dinner. Now there is no way on earth I'm putting anything other than sparkling water and a mound of pasta into my recovering body.

The 2.5 weeks off were brilliant - I didn't want or need a drink. All the times/things I thought would be crap without a drink just, well, weren't crap - watching movies, out for dinner etc etc.

So despite the hangover I feel good.

Proud I absolutely agree. There's nothing like a hangover to remind you how good not drinking is.

Pixwix - that's great! Just keep distracting yourself, and it'll be bedtime before you know it!

Scary - getting straight back in the saddle is one of the hardest things to do - it's where I always come unstuck when I have drunk alcohol after a period of abstinence. Your body may feel crap today, but your spirit (no irony intended) is in control.

Fairenuff - soooo true, sister!

Hi Carrie - Thanks, yes I do feel in control. I always knew I was going to have a few yesterday. Going forward, I am going to have many more weeks off and cut down considerably.

Deep breath & Jumping in.

NC'ed for this - have been lurking on your threads for about six months now (I was too scared even to lurk before as I might see things I didn't want to know).

From what I've read you're an inspiring bunch & I could do with the inspiration.

Have been a heavy, heavy drinker for about 20 years (four year hiatus for PG & BFing - so I can't be that bad eh? - but that's a lovely lie I tell myself).

I'm not a booze hider or an everyday drinker & never before 6.30 (except weekends of course), (so again - no problem there is there? keep telling yourself that you might believe it...), but I binge, I binge terribly, 2-3 times a week - 2 or more bottles of wine then onto the spirits if there's any to be found - I sometimes drink until morning then get the DC's ready for school (I don't drive - I think because I never, ever wanted to be the designated driver - or maybe because I've never been sober enough to learn). I must stink of fucking booze.

I then come home & crawl back into bed.

I've really got to stop, I'm convinced I've done myself terrible damage (I have a grumbling ache on my right side - you know where) & that I'm going to wake up yellow one day, I'm a crap mother when I have hangovers.

Thing is, everyone knows I drink, everyone knows I drink a lot, they just think I'm fun & the life & soul - I sometimes think they don't want me to stop - I think I act as a useful barometer to their own drinking.

I'm not on the bus now - I'm barely in the side-car.

But hello to you all, I've given myself a positive new name (wishful thinking maybe) - hope to join you on the actual bus soon.

Hello Sunlit and welcome to the bus. Silver or Isinde will be along later to issue you a ticket. Come and make yourself comfortable. Are you drinking this evening?

Sun I hear ya!

My drinking was well out of control a few years ago - then I stopped, then I started again, and whilst it's not as bad as it was - yet - today I am not going to drink.

I was once sick in the bushes at the school gates, cos I was still hungover/drunk, and spent the day in bed whilst children at school - it's not been as bad as that for a while, but I know my drinking, and how it can escalate. Welcome! xx

Yep - sorry, I wasn't going to - haven't since Monday - but....

Welcome, Sunlit, I only jumped in myself yesterday, and as you say, everyone on here is so encouraging and inspiring. I really feel your despair, and how far down the road you feel you are. I can also tell you have reached a pivotal point where you have realised enough is enough.

Can I ask if you've had any professional or other help? Have you thought about how you are going to tackle your drinking, or are you too down to do that right now?

Oh - and I only joined today too! x