Is he boring or am do I need to grow up?

[FlameProofNightie]

Would appreciate your views on this one.

I have been seeing my new boyfriend for a few months now. We are both 40. He lives local to me and I pop and see him a couple of times a week for a few hours in the evening and we spend weekend time together. I really like him but I sometimes feel a bit 'bored.' Here's why...

He plays golf every Saturday and Sunday during the day. This is fine as I like time to myself but he needs an early night on both of the nights. So, last night for example, we watched a DVD until 11pm, he then yawned and started closing curtains etc.. [ cue for me to leave although I wouldn't have needed to as no kids at home ], quick peck and off i went. No sex.

He spends a lot of time discussing his fitness routines/diet routines/pension provisions/retirement provisions/ the importance of savings/how he likes to allocate special time to household tasks etc etc.. He is fond of lists and he frowns upon any sort of excess in any area of life. We talk about these subjects a lot.

He doesn't drink more than a pint or two at most and then maybe only once a month. So a fun night with a few drinks doesn't happen. I am no lush but it's nice to go to the pub and have a few isn't it?

Sex. It lasts 5 minutes, always in bed, we both stand on opposite sides of the bed removing our own clothes. Always in the same two positions. Sometimes it lasts 8 minutes, maybe. Sometimes there is NO foreplay at all.

He is a careful, fastidious man. I sometimes glance at him and see my father although he is baby faced and looks years younger than he is. I just see.... an old man. It's in his mannerisms I think.

He is really nice though and ...oh GOD- Should I ditch him?

tethers- im not really flighty- I can't be- i have kids! he has none. Compared to him though, im all sorts of mad things.

He definitely has no fetishes.

Fresh pineapple and strawberries and champagne on the nipples. If he's worried about the sheets, buy him a box of Daz.

I think you are only going to get him to open up to doing things differently with a radical change of scene like going across the Gobi Desert in a 4x4 or something. He does sound very set in his ways.

Still you never know, if you tied him to the bed posts so he couldn't go and play golf all day you may expand his horizons a little - he might discover whole new side to himself.

Do you mind the low libido? It's not necessarily a problem. I liked the comparison with watching Antique Roadshow with two contacts in one eye!
How would you feel if he rang up this afternoon and said insert John Major voice here "hello, Flameproof dear, would you mind if we called it a day? I'm finding our twice-weekly eight-minute bouts of passion are playing havoc with my swing".

Are you 75?

I'm howling at some of these. He ALWAYS plays golf, at least once and usually twice a weekend. Always.

There are ladies out there wishing they could meet a Mr Lowlibido, what a shame he is taken by Mrs Swingsfromchandeliarsshewishes. How ironic the world is.

Why waste your life working with what you have, when mr right is out there? live life.

Bluestocking - well, I know he has a low libido because he went years and years without sex. We generally have it most times i see him.. but i know he can easily do without. It is quite perfunctory really. I feel i cant let go either.

How would i feel if he chucked me in favour of hitting more balls? Im not sure. bit disappointed. then id get my black book out I guess.

I just wanted him to be 'the one'

Your a golf widow after a few months. turn up to the golf course fur coat and no knickers and see if he gives you a hole in one. sorry.

Can you suggest an alternative holiday which is your cup'o'tea to see if he will do things your way occasionally?

I think you need to let him down gently, before he puts down a deposit on a B&B for the walking holiday. Don't let Emma dump him, I hear she's really brutal!

knowwhen. He'd be most taken aback

The holiday is only a few days away- and yes, i could suggest an alternative I suppose. I like walking [ sort of ] and it'd be fine with someone who made it fun, iyswim? Oh and we'd have dogs with us too

I reckon spy. Definitely spy.

This 'walking holiday' is a secret reconnaissance mission...

You will have to come back and tell us after the holiday if it was fun or not. He might let his hair down on holiday.

If you have dogs, where will you stay? Does he have a pristine motor home?

He sounds lovely but if the chemistry isn't there now, it's never going to be.

You can't change people, and if he isn't your type, you're going to have to move on.

does he go down on you? or does he keep everything above belly button.

sorry - but how the hell do you get any satisfaction after 8 minutes? You must be frustrated, nothing worse than having a man and he is not up to the sex job - you may as well play alone

"does he go down on you?"

If not suggest a new sport, muff diving. It says a lot about a man who doesn't lick clit.

I thought 8 mintues was quite long.

8 minutes is a little short changed for forplay - let alone the whole shubang

He goes down.. occasionally. In a careful. controlled way.

Well, we have just chatted and we are going to eat at his tonight and go out for a drink. But i can only have one drink because he is up early tomorrow and although i canstay, he gets a better night's sleep if I don't but 'that sounds awful doesn't it? ' ...so we decided to 'see how it goes.'

I think the writing is on the wall here. Feel a bit bleugh about it all

Are you dating my Uncle John? He also likes looking at maps [helpful]