Time wasters need not apply, Soul Soothers come hither Dating Chat Part 11

[hatesponge]

Ta-da! Think this is the first one I've started.

I am still feeling somewhat feisty. Told my team off at work for being too noisy and was generally stroppy. Might have to go and start a row in AIBU or something!

So, dating, as you were etc

Not forgetting of course that I have a second date at the weekend!

right so does any of that make me sound sad or needy?

nicholas - at bin the fucker

watch - i was thinking of telling him what i want from a relationship in general either before of after the questions. i dont want to write everything down as it seems more like a business meeting if it is all written down

i feel quite odd about this whole writing stuff down anyway and want to cringe and hide.

so do you think i should ask him if he loves me?

or ask why does he keep coming back all the time?

also what if he gives all the right answers (as he is good at that) should i still tell him I need time to digest this info? or should i tell him i will give it a try with him? ahhhhhhhhh so so so nervous right now, i have eaten so much chocolate today ahhhhhhh

ps can any of you come over to hide while I have this convo?

Sponge - have you had a reply from the scot?

Snape - Time is my thread crush lurve mentor, she is vair vair wise but I am open to sharing her Am being thick I'm sure but has she namechanged left the thread now??

:). Time has wisdom enough for all. We can all share!

Text message sent. Sit and wait, im patiently. Lol. Pat on the back for me, and a wkd opened too.

We are seeing how it goes. He thinks about the other night too. Aah, VERY HAPPY ME, at least I know where I stand. I am glad I asked. No longer speculating, now knowing.

notsure I'm not sure about your list, sorry. I think you need to be more assertive and less questioning. Besides, you can ask all the questions you want and he will only tell you what he wants you to hear. I think you would do best laying your cards on the table, telling him straight what you want. for example:

"If you are serious about us having a relationship then there are a few things that I would need from you. I'm going to tell you what those things are and then I'm going to listen while you tell me what you will need from me."

Then tell him what you expect from him, i.e that he reply to texts, and tell him why you need him to reply. That he introduce you to his friends and family, and tell him why you need him to do this. Tell him that in any relationship you expect to be treated with respect, and that so far you haven't felt very respected by him and unless that changes there can't be a relationship. And so on and so on....

Do you get my drift? Am I too late? Are you with him right now?

Thank you Snape and thank you MrsKL, you are both very kind, and lovely!

And no, don't ask him if he loves you or why he keeps coming back. This 'meeting' is to establish a 'new' relationship, you are moving on from all the other stuff, this is 'proper'. Take it one date at a time, see how things go, if all works out well there is plenty of time to tell him that you love him. He has to prove to you that he is serious about a serious relationship and you have to give him time to do that

MLM - is 'seeing how it goes' not just what he said before but spelt different?

I REALLY don't want to burst your bubble, but if that's how he wants it, then he should be woo-ing you, taking you out, not just coming round yours for a quick shag

Now doing my hair and nails and a face mask, must start looking stunning again.

I think 'see how it goes' means 'lets keep on doing exactly what we are doing'

Somebody needs to think of a new thread title, this one's nearly full.

Notsure, glad you saw the funny side. :o

MLM, see how it goes? He needs to up his game IMO. And from your photo, wow, you already are. So no need to look even lovelier than you are. And no, that's not a chat up, I'm not looking for anyone under 35. :)

hidingfrom sounds like you've been pretty damn busy with the internet dating, and yet you seem quite cheery about the whole thing...where as I have turned into ms grumpy cant be arsed

(i'm wondering what the secret is )

Am slightly concernd I am not doing enough flurrying around for my date on Saturday (apart form discovering I thought XH was having them this weekend and he pointed out I had emailed saying it was me. But made him change and he was fine about it - actually seemed pleased I had a date ).

Am dying grey hairs tomorrow but they needed doing anyway. Will wear a dress as I always wear dresses. Won't wear makeup as I never do. Might shave my legs (not that they are going to be on view but feel I should do something).

Had better email him seeing as he emailed me earlier....

Am looking forward to it but suppose I don't want to be building it up too much :)

That sounds like more than enough flurrying around for a date on Saturday Miranda, you sound well organised, and excited

The photo I have on here or oasis.....the one on oasis is slightly more revealing, but god it takes ages to look like that. his actual words were "let's just go with it" and I agree, just follow the path and see where it leads too. I am happy with that, very happy. So just going with the flow!

Thank you Time :)

We need a new thread title, suggestions? Anyone?

what already??
I havent a clue, I cant seem to work up any enthusiasm for dating, I'm not even sure if I can be bothered with sex any more
I must have burnt myself out or something

loves, I think the secret it that I'm really not expecting anything much from it, so I'm never disappointed. I chat online 'just enough' to make sure we will have something to talk about for an hour or so, but don't build up too many 'mental images' which are then dashed as they're 5 inches shorter and 10 years older!

I also tend to meet for a quick drink 'on the way home from work'. This has two benefits. 1 - cast iron excuse not to stay too long and 2 - I can wear 'nice' work clothes (blouse/shirt, pencil skirt, heels) and not have to bother with sorting out anything special :-)

And how about 'OMG you could go skipping with that..' which was my response to Mr 16 inches :-)

I should also say that I have a 50/50 arrangement with my children (teenagers). So in my weeks 'off' I'm pretty much a free agent. Therefore arranging a quick hour long drink doesn't involve a massive feat of logistics. Lower investment so lower expectations really

my children have left home, I'm self employed can pretty much do what I like when I like and yet I just cant be arsed to meet anyone new.
All the freedom has made me lazy!

16 inches is more of a handicap than an asset I think, I mean, he's surely cursed more than he's blessed?

OK - I can't keep up with you lot, but I'm trying to read what I can and it's really helping me.

So ..... let you all be the first to know. I'VE GOT A DATE!!!!!!! No details arranged yet but the guy UI've been chatting to since Sunday (yes I know far too early, but we've really clicked online) has asked if I want to meet I feel like a giddy school girl.

Problem is he's busy the next 2 weekends, I'm busy the one after so it could be a while

To be fair, I think he did find it more of a handicap. I'd be a little concerned that he'd pass out if he got over excited!

I do know what you mean about the cba though. I turned down a date with mr fit/intelligent tonight to slump in front of the tv/laptop with a ready meal and a glass of wine. In reality, I date to distract myself from mr EUM. I'm quite sociable anyway, so don't have a problem meeting new people for a drink.

I have, however, been accused by more than one friend (and Mr Eum) of being slightly on the 'emotionally unavailable' side myself. I prefer to think that I am just slightly cautious.....