Time wasters need not apply, Soul Soothers come hither Dating Chat Part 11

[hatesponge]

Ta-da! Think this is the first one I've started.

I am still feeling somewhat feisty. Told my team off at work for being too noisy and was generally stroppy. Might have to go and start a row in AIBU or something!

So, dating, as you were etc

Not forgetting of course that I have a second date at the weekend!

Thank you for your kind words. I wish time did heal all wounds. Sadly I'm so over sensitive that I carry hurts around for years without getting over them. I am most certainly not one of life's winners

Snape I possibly will end up alone, and childless but I'm resigned to it now. I'm 33 and there's not a hint of anyone decent coming my way ANYTIME soon. I don't seem to win at love for some reason. I don't know why because I'm quite a kind person I think. I think I'm just a bit doomed tbh.

That's a nice story about your friend. I only wish the same thing could happen for me. It won't of course, but it would be lovely if it did.

I will stop complaining now. As you were ladies

Milk you are 33, my mum had me at 41, you have loads of time. Never settle for second best. Tonight I plan to work put tomorrows message, nothing too pushy, but obvious of what I want, help!

Huge hug Milk. Never say you are not one of lifes winners - you are just feeling blue that is all.
Adams - that pic thing is bizarre. Have you googled his name yet?

I would be tempted to post that pic everywhere, he he he, maybe he will think twice before sending such pictures ib future. I have a message drafted for tomorrow, maybe. Don't want my bubble to burst.

adams reply with "not a magnifying mirror then?"

Milk No you won't. Anyone who can look at themselves and find humour in their own humiliation situation (thinking gorgeous barman here - not mr open relationship) will eventually get what they need and want. You are going through this rough patch because the man of your dreams hasn't worked out where you are yet. Of that I am confident

Check me out, all confident and all. Mr lovely saturday night has frazzled my cynical brain

Hijack alert sorry.
Time - nothing to do with this thread at all but I feel I need to offload all the same.

I was reading the thread that is being deleted today. (Sweeps thread) I have lurked on there all along. Its heartwrenching. Only this afty have I twigged that it was your old thread linked to it

I just knew you were a wise one I did. Now I am in awe. Thats all.

As you were daters

Awh, thank you MrsKL that's really nice of you to say so

Would agree, all you on here seem so wise, but sometimes we need to take our own advice right. When he gets off work we'll text for a bit then maybe I will ask. MAYBE

Aww, Time has me married already not that i'd mind . But really, it is an inspiring tale.

Do it MLM. You know you should, right?

mlm - i think we do take our own advice...

and just ask him

KeithLemon I hope you are right. I really do. It's very kind of you to say so though-thank you.

Well I actually walked past the gorgeous barman on Friday night whilst en route to another bar with Mr Open Relationship. He was standing outside his pub having a cigarette. Thankfully he was standing a little way away from me. I saw him having a good look at us though whilst I broke my neck to see surreptitiously watched out of the corner of my eye.

I felt like running over and screaming 'Don't go looking now Mr Maybe, you wouldn't bloody well go on a date with me'

Just ONE date ffs. Is it too much to ask? I don't want to bloody marry him or anything.

Oh, and yes MLM Ask him. You are going to drive yourself bonkers at this rate.

I am waiting for him to finish work and start texting me. I will of course update after I send the text. Some hand holding may be needed.

Well, after lurking on this thread (and all previous ones) I thought I'd better introduce myself - especially as I've already outed myself to PoppaRob (waves to Poppa )

Divorced 3 years ago after being with exh from 18, late 40s. In common with a lot of you on this thread, I've been in an on/off, casual/not casual, love of my life/not the love of his relationship for 2.5 years now. In all the 'off' periods I've done some internet dating (hey, Mr EUM said we should see other people!). Finally ended it with Mr Eum at christmas (well, apart from last night - but that's another story) and have been internet dating ever since (including a brief foray oct/nov last year)

A brief rundown
The Greek (oct/nov) - lovely but very young. Interesting conversation but felt a bit like his mother
The German (oct/nov) - 2 dates, wasn't sure I actually fancied him but thought I'd 'DTD' as it may help me get over YKH. Sadly, mr floppy wasn't playing . Must confess I sent the 'I don't think I'm ready for a relationship' text (well, I could hardly say your penis didn't fill me with joy, could I?)
Mr Jockey (oct/nov) - was chatting on OkC and at short notice arranged to meet. Wasn't until I got there and checked his profile that I realised he'd obviously snuck through my filters. Lovely guy, great night but..... I had to bend down to kiss him, and I'm 5'3" (was wearing heels though). I'm just not used to it! (although if anyone is less Heightist than me and in the northwest let me know - I'll send you his details)
Mr Australian (older guy) - very chatty & good rapport over text, absolutely no spark

Since christmas......
BobtheBuilder (obviously not really called Bob) - very fit (very like Mr Eum, hmmm), met up for a drink & brought him back! (first time for me). Shagged, he left very shortly after. Came round again for some more and not heard from him since! (to be fair, I've not contacted him either). Great sex though

Then, I tried the 'IE' experiment. If you're not bored yet I'll let you know how it went!

I am more nervous than bored, waiting for Mr just friends to text after work. Eeeek. Once little man goes to bed I think I may NEED a drink or two, and maybe more after the reply. So the IE experiment tell.

mlm. .

milk. My mum met my dad (admittedly on the rebound...) when she was 37. Married at 39. Me at 41. You have time. Dont settle for this shit and of course you are welcome to complain here as much as possible. We will tell you if we get bored. . You should stroll past that pub in a wekk or so. :)

Hiding. Hello. :). Sounds very familiar. :).

time. You are very wise. Really. You give a lot of very sound advice, for which i am grateful. You sound very sorted. :)

right i have got some of my questions ready, what do you think?

1 - what exactly do you want from me?
2 - If the aim of the game is me, what you gonna do if you get me?
3 - Describe what is like to be in a proper relationship?
4 - If your so interested in me, why do you never show it, eg not texting back for days?
5 - why do you think its ok to come round and chill (by which I mean have sex) when you feel like it, but not offer the things you know I want?
6 - Why dont you want me to meet anyone you know?
7 - why do you keep telling me you want a relationship then act as though you dont?
8 - why couldnt you speak to me at your aunts (this is after he had an op and was staying there for a week)
9 - where you really at your aunts?
10 - do you think i'm always gonna let you treat me the way you have done previously?

I'm toying with this one:

11 - don't you think I deserve better then this?

ahhhhhh cringe cringe cringe, but this is what I want to know

No 11 is important Notsure. You know you deserve better. If he answers anything but 'of course you do' bin the fucker!

MLM, good luck, but take a note from how many of us on this thread have that 'just friends' we're actually crazy about still hanging around. If he's not willing to look at anything more don't kid yourself you're happy with something less. Move on and find the one you deserve!

Btw, forgot one on the 'casual dating' profile - was chatting only, very (very very) fit guy, lived miles away so no intention of arranging to meet. He said he was 'well-endowed' and some women found it offputting. I had to ask, didn't I?
His answer - 16 inches!!! Ladies, I very nearly requested a cock pic, then realised it would probably need a panoramic view

So, the IE experiment. I followed all your advice (although wish I'd though of the 'now I've got your attention' line) and stated that I was looking for dating or FWB arrangement, with someone I could have a laugh and some fun with not a ONS . 350 emails and 24 hours later I hid my profile. It was manic!

Anyway, I then went on to meet Mr ToyBoy. Well, he was 34 (but I am seriously old!). Had a couple of dates (and some seriously good evenings ), then I packed him off to find a nice girl his own age, settle down and make babies (he was ready by the time I'd finished with him)

Next was Mr Fit&Intelligent (but even younger!). Met for coffee, had great time and very intelligent conversation. Haven't arranged a second meet yet though. He wants a shag, I'd just rather get together for another conversation, doesnt match really does it?

Then there was MrVeryTallGuy - was talking to him for a couple of weeks off and on. Ticked all the boxes, looking for the same as me. Arranged an after work meet (after a number of jokes about public places where he assured me he was 'not a pouncer') and yes, you've guessed it! Was actually a nice kisser, but then got far too 'gropey' after he walked me to the car and too insistent (which was not good as he was more than a foot taller than me). Kept asking for another date, so I told him he'd made me very uncomfortable. Had an extremely penitent text asking for a second chance. Jury's out still. So hope you ladies tell me to listen to my instincts!! I think the fact that there is no way that I'd have asked him back to the house probably says enough

Anyway, I think that's probably enough to be going on with.........

not sure - thats great that that is what you want to know. Its your thing so you need to have your own questions.... but then some things that sate to him what you are after.

good luck.

Notsure, x-posted that huge tale.

I think those questions are about right, just make sure you're strong and confident when you ask. And remember, if the answer is not what you want to hear, it means he's not the right one for you anyway (say she who took 2 years to say the same thing)

Crossing my fingers that you get the answers you want

yes good luck notsure and mlm. you're both doing totally the right thing but you're braver than me (certainly than I have been in the past) I always tend to avoid ever asking any question I think I might not like the answer to...