Just had the biggest fight with DH... he hit me, I hit him...

[namechangeforthis100]

I've spent the whole of yesterday at the hospital... quite a long time after a miscarriage it turns out (joy) I've got an infection. I'm in agony. I feel shit. All my friends are pregnant.. I'm just having a very shit time.

I decided to get stuff organised.. sort of nights out etc to keep us busy and tonight we went out with about 10 of our best friends for a meal (a lot are shift workers from our hey day hence the tuesday random night)...

I have been in quite a lot of pain and on painkillers... but was without and just slowly drinking wine this evening.. The night went great and we all agreed to meet again next week.

We got in the car (DH driving) and she started to go MAD. Apparently during a conversation I had dictated when he could go out and come back (with an old friend) and I hadn't! I know the conversation he's talking about. They were taking the piss saying I would and I was laughing... but I didn't say a word. And all the home he called me vile, drunk, a bitch etc.. (with our daughter in the back of the car who we just picked up from a sitter to bring home.)

We got in, put DD to bed and it escalated. He screamed at me, I proclaimed innocence, He pushed me, I tried to kick him. We ended up having a full out physical fight.

He left. I wrenched the keys out his hand and he stepped out the door.

I locked it.
Jesus christ.

What do I do now?? I'm already in pain. (now more. Have a perfect hand bruise on my chest.)

hi OP. hope you got some sleep and the antibiotics are doing their job. infections are exhausting ime - i had one following a miscarriage and subsequent d&c and i really felt like i'd been run over by a bus. take care of your health as your first priority. you don't want to go down with more illness or end up crashing in depression yourself.

as far as this thread goes whatever you think of the advice and general information people have shared about abuse and violence remember they're here and do have that cycle clear in your mind, just in case.

i think a big test will be whether your dh does make that appointment and follow through on this or whether there are no appointments so he'll try next week and on and on and it never really happens. i do want to say that depression doesn't excuse anything - i've suffered with depression on and off for much of my life and it has never caused me to hit anyone, let alone someone who is ill, smaller than me and i am meant to love. that's true for the vast majority of people with depression and that needs to be said as reading this thread one could come away with the impression depressed people are violent which would be a sad stigmatising state of affairs!

when do you get your blood test results? hope you are eating well and drinking lots of water - especially if you're drinking.

If he has a problem with getting an appointment, but also because a referral to counselling or a psychiatrist may take months, he may consider Mind.

www.mind.org.uk/
See what to do in an emergency including violence. As they state "Nobody should have to live with violence or the threat of it."

OP hope things do work out but god when you read your post about his apology - he's an adult and he's putting down attacking you to being upset about being slagged off by your brother and his friends... I'd have a big issue about him not apologising for hitting you straight away but wanting to talk about him being slagged off about you keeping him under thumb etc... not nice..

I hope things work out for you and your family

Good on you OP. Sanity and understanding prevails.

I think you should giving advice to half the people on this relationships board, rather than vice versa.

Best wishes. I posted early on, have been following, and I'm glad you've made some progress. [busmile]

How are things now, after a long w/e?

Has he made the appt yet?

yes - be good to know how things are going OP. hope he's seeing things through.